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I've Been "Unfriended"--Now What? (Update on Page 2)

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Nannerdoman:
Drat this stupid election and drat stupid Facebook.

A couple who have been very good friends IRL and on Facebook for years is far to the other end of me on the political spectrum. We had exchanges of opinion during the run-up to the election, and I tried very hard to be courteous and non-judgmental.

Well, evidently I failed. Last night the DW of the couple sent a rather bitter post to my sister accusing her of being condescending in her response to the election results. I sent the wife a PM assuring her that my sister had no such intention and got back a message of my own that I had been "vilifying and calling names" for months and now was only "pretending to be gracious".

Then both of them unfriended me and my sister and our roommate.

I'm honestly flabbergasted. We've been friends with these people for decades, and never during the campaign did I get a hint that I was saying anything particularly objectionable (except insofar as disagreeing with their opinions was objectionable). I don't want to lose these people as friends. I sent another message via EM to the DW asking her if she could point out anywhere specific where I've vilified anyone or called names. So far, no response.

How have other people handled this? I'm seriously considering just giving Facebook up.

SleepyKitty:
I think you need to take this off of Facebook. Clearly something in your message is not coming across in text, and if you've been friends with these people for decades, I'm going to assume they are usually pretty reasonable people.

Pick up the phone and call them, so they can hear your tone of voice and you can talk "real time". Even better, meet up for coffee and have a face-to-face talk.

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: Nannerdoman on November 08, 2012, 04:14:10 PM ---How have other people handled this?
--- End quote ---

I generally never post or comment in any way that would alienate one set of friends or another.  This means you probably can't tell who I voted for or how I really feel about the issues.  I also just ignore people who anger me in their posts because I won't change their mind and it would just bring stress into my life to try.  I would contact the people in real life and just keep politics out of the friendship. 

JenJay:
I was unfriended by a relative for what has to be political reasons. It was upsetting at first but then I realized if I am nothing more to him than my political position (which is actually pretty moderate but his is very extreme) then good riddance. This lady has reduced you to one aspect of your life, which she disagrees with, and that's all she sees in you. It's possible she's upset about the election and you'll hear from her after she has a chance to calm down, but if not, I'd let her go.  :-\

CakeBeret:

--- Quote from: Nannerdoman on November 08, 2012, 04:14:10 PM ---I'm honestly flabbergasted. We've been friends with these people for decades, and never during the campaign did I get a hint that I was saying anything particularly objectionable (except insofar as disagreeing with their opinions was objectionable). I don't want to lose these people as friends. I sent another message via EM to the DW asking her if she could point out anywhere specific where I've vilified anyone or called names. So far, no response.

How have other people handled this? I'm seriously considering just giving Facebook up.

--- End quote ---

To some people, a polar opposite political stance, no matter how politely stated, is a grave offense. Saying "I'm voting for Mickey Mouse" is interpreted as "I'm voting against the One True Candidate just to spite you, you vile, scum-eating, worthless heap of rotten dung."

To be honest, I would call it a loss and move on with your life. In my experience, people like this are nasty and bigoted in other areas of life as well. I wouldn't want to be friends with them after that.

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