General Etiquette > Techno-quette

I've Been "Unfriended"--Now What? (Update on Page 2)

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--- Quote from: Nannerdoman on November 08, 2012, 03:14:10 PM ---Well, evidently I failed. Last night the DW of the couple sent a rather bitter post to my sister accusing her of being condescending in her response to the election results. I sent the wife a PM assuring her that my sister had no such intention and got back a message of my own that I had been "vilifying and calling names" for months and now was only "pretending to be gracious".

--- End quote ---

Well that ^ alone could be considered pretty vilifying.  I mean why are you getting involved?  You are telling this woman how to take something someone else said to her - if not actually vilifying, its certainly condescending and kinda ganging up on her; it was between her and your sister and you are all adults.  It was not your place to butt in.

I decided at the beginning of the "political season" that nobody on Facebook would know what side I was on about any issue. I saw many posts in my news feed from extremely liberal to extremely conservative and everything between. Since nobody was going to change my mind and I wasn't going to change theirs, it seemed best to just remain silent about politics and avoid all argument.

Prior to you sending the wife a PM, how did this involve you?  It seems like there's something missing from the story.

I agree that where you erred is in getting in the middle of whatever was between your friend and your sister.  That was between them and your sister was responsible for handling it...not you.

I've been pretty careful not to post anything political on FB.  People do tend to get over emotional when discussing politics and I've seen a lot of "lively" debates between my freinds...ones that often get personal and none that seem to strengthen understanding of the "other side."  So lesson learned:  It's not usually a good idea to debate politics with friends with very different viewpoints from yours.  I have no doubt that you tried to be polite about it and probably were...but just the act of not agreeing with something someone else is very passionate about can be seen as insulting.  So, I just don't do it.

As for what to do now.  Let it go. At least for now.  After you've given her some time to cool off, you can maybe call her up and ask her out for lunch or coffee to catch up.  Since you've been friends for decades, I'm guessing that she just needs time to settle down.  And when you do start talking to her again, don't push her for examples of your offense.  It's hard, but just let it slide and build your friendship back up on things you both enjoy vs. this.

During the election season, I was completely neutral on electronic media. Since the election, I have been appalled by things written by otherwise reasonable people online for everyone to see. I hope reason reigns again soon.

As far as etiquette goes, you can't force these people to talk to you or be your friend. I would just move on with my life.


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