Author Topic: Explain why I'm asking for this?  (Read 4473 times)

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Lady Snowdon

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Explain why I'm asking for this?
« on: November 08, 2012, 06:56:42 PM »
As a small B/g, wish lists for Christmas are still very much encouraged by both my parents and my IL's.  I never send out a list for DH or I without first being asked, so if I'm not asked for a list this year, my problem will be solved! 

I've decided this year that I'd like to get a Surface tablet, and so I'd like to ask for cash and/or Microsoft store gift cards to help with the cost of said tablet.  I do not expect anyone to buy the tablet for me!  But just asking for cash and/or gift cards to a certain store will be a major departure for me in what I typically put on my list (a more typical list would be some books, jewelry, gift cards to a clothing store).  I'm wondering, would it be okay to explain to my parents and IL's why I'm asking for just a couple of things?  I don't want them to think I'm hinting about them getting me the tablet, and I feel like if I mention something like, "this year I'm looking to get a Surface tablet, so any gift cards to the Microsoft store to help with the cost of that would be great!", that it will sound like I'm hinting.  Am I over thinking this?  Or is this okay to mention - again only if I'm asked for a list? 

tiff019

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2012, 07:00:53 PM »
As a small B/g, wish lists for Christmas are still very much encouraged by both my parents and my IL's.  I never send out a list for DH or I without first being asked, so if I'm not asked for a list this year, my problem will be solved! 

I've decided this year that I'd like to get a Surface tablet, and so I'd like to ask for cash and/or Microsoft store gift cards to help with the cost of said tablet.  I do not expect anyone to buy the tablet for me!  But just asking for cash and/or gift cards to a certain store will be a major departure for me in what I typically put on my list (a more typical list would be some books, jewelry, gift cards to a clothing store).  I'm wondering, would it be okay to explain to my parents and IL's why I'm asking for just a couple of things?  I don't want them to think I'm hinting about them getting me the tablet, and I feel like if I mention something like, "this year I'm looking to get a Surface tablet, so any gift cards to the Microsoft store to help with the cost of that would be great!", that it will sound like I'm hinting.  Am I over thinking this?  Or is this okay to mention - again only if I'm asked for a list?

I'm saving/planning to get a big ticket item myself this year (a bike). What I did when asked was to say 'I'm saving up for a bike (or in your case the tablet) so any gift cards/money would be awesome to help me be able to get it sooner.' It's very common in my family too to ask 'what do you want this year' and list off a few things. So far the bike is the only thing I've mentioned, and it's gone over just fine.

I think especially if you frame it as i'm saving up for rather that I want a xxx it takes the implication that you're hinting for a big ticket item away.

LazyDaisy

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2012, 07:09:06 PM »
Could you tell them you and your husband plan to buy the tablet as a gift for each other (or him to you) and so you would like tablet accessories (covers, bags, cords, apps, etc). They may decide to get you a gift card or cash gift on their own without you having to ask, and if not, you still have cool accessories that you may not have purchased otherwise.
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WillyNilly

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2012, 10:20:35 PM »
If you've asked for and received gift cards previously I think its an established protocol.  Think of it like this: you've asked for clothing store gift cards in the past, right?  Did your family feel obligated to buy you a new wardrobe?  Of course not.  Well this is the same really, you just want a little bit to add to the overall.

CakeBeret

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2012, 10:45:23 PM »
I say yes; I've done it before myself. For this past birthday, I told my family that I was saving up for a Kindle, and Amazon gift cards would be most appreciated.
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buvezdevin

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2012, 10:55:46 PM »
I think it is fine to say you are planning to get X and gift cards to use towards would be very welcome.  As someone who likes to give "things" - even if only small tokens - along with gift cards (it feels more personal to me), I would gladly gift an amount towards a big ticket item, but would also welcome some other options as add ons, so the "list" isn't one option, or otherwise I would give a gift card in some amount along with a token gift (special chocolate or candy, etc).
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TootsNYC

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2012, 11:13:07 PM »
When asking for cash or gift cards, I think it's nice to focus on the ITEM that you want to get. (like a bridal couple saying on their registry: "we need to buy a washer & dryer for our new home, so any monetary gifts will be earmarked for that"--it means I can think about the *thing* when I'm writing my check. And it implies that you'd get it anyway, and that non-monetary gifts wouldn't be UNwelcome--it's just that if you decided to give us money, that's what we'd use it for)


I don't think you need to get into much detail. Hey, you want it. That's all they care about, really, right?

I think it might be good to offer some smaller, more tangible things in case they really want those sorts of ideas. But make them the SECOND thought.

Perhaps say, "The one thing I really want is a tablet computer. So a contribution to that would be great. Or if you'd rather, I need new turtlenecks in pretty colors for work. And  Netflix membership would be great, because I could send the DVDs back, and I wouldn't have to find somewhere to keep them."

(but then, I'm a fan of gift lists that go all over the place and have small and big stuff on it. I once put waxed paper on mine, bcs I couldn't find it at my grocery stores at the time. At all. But I was disappointed bcs nobody ever got it for me--not even the young nephew, who I was hoping would decide it was within his budget and he knew what it was.)


Only me

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2012, 12:34:58 AM »
HI

I've done this before and actually and gotten cash. I usually state taht since I don't know where I"m going to buy the "big ticket item", any money towards it would be great. Challenge for me is that someone buys me a gift card to Store A, but I want' to buy item and store B cause that's where its on sale.

 

Deetee

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2012, 05:44:38 PM »
I think the nicest thing is to list the gift cards to a Tablet along with some other tangible items. Some people really like to buy things. Others think gift cards are fantastic. So as a giftee, it's nice to give people options so they can get the joy out of the purchase (whether that joy is 3 hours finding the perfect scarf or relief that they can just buy a $25 gift card)

peaches

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2012, 06:07:42 PM »
I think it's fine to list a gift card as one of several options. I don't think it should be the only option. Some people like to shop for and give something tangible. For them, that's part of the pleasure of giving, and it makes a gift more personal.

Something that's not been mentioned is that some people don't want the exact amount they've spent being known. They avoid gift cards altogether. I don't know if your folks feel that way, but some people do.



Bijou

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2012, 01:23:40 PM »
I think asking for a gift card or money can actually force someone to give more than they intended to spend (for fear that they might come off as cheap).  I would just save up for what I want and not put them on the spot.  For example, I might find a nice book for someone for ten dollars, but if I gave a gift card it would for 20 or 25 and not ten.  Know what I mean?
« Last Edit: November 23, 2012, 01:25:49 PM by Bijou »
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Lady Snowdon

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2012, 11:06:28 PM »
My sister in law and mother in law both ended up asking for ideas of what to get my DH and I.  For myself, I mentioned that my amazon wishlist was up to date with lots of books that I'd like to get, and that I'm saving up to buy a Microsoft Surface tablet, so a gift card to the Microsoft store would be welcomed.  My sister in law said "good to know", my mother in law said, "So you're saying cash is the thing to get you this year".  :-[  ::) I kind of stumbled and said, "Well, I wouldn't say no, but that's not what I was trying to say".  My mom is still convinced I want an iPad, even after telling her it's something completely different.   ???  One out of three isn't bad, I guess.  Clearly I could use more work with this! 

Drawberry

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2012, 07:31:06 PM »
My sister in law and mother in law both ended up asking for ideas of what to get my DH and I.  For myself, I mentioned that my amazon wishlist was up to date with lots of books that I'd like to get, and that I'm saving up to buy a Microsoft Surface tablet, so a gift card to the Microsoft store would be welcomed.  My sister in law said "good to know", my mother in law said, "So you're saying cash is the thing to get you this year".  :-[  ::) I kind of stumbled and said, "Well, I wouldn't say no, but that's not what I was trying to say".  My mom is still convinced I want an iPad, even after telling her it's something completely different.   ???  One out of three isn't bad, I guess.  Clearly I could use more work with this!

I don't see anything particularly wrong with monetary gifts if that is the route the giver chooses to take. If it's what the individual needs or would put to the most use it feels like a waste to purchase something 'solid' for the sake of not giving money. Both a 'solid' gift and a monetary one can be equally appreciated and special, especially if the individual has previously stated they are saving up for a big-ticket item.

My own mother will simply come out and ask if I'd like money or a 'typical' gift because she knows there are a lot of things I need. Both my boyfriend and I are artists and supplies can get very pricey! So she sometimes asks if I would like money to buy such things like expensive materials that are often sold at different stores or in the case that I need to replace something electronic (such as the pen for the tablets we own, they are Wacom drawing tablets and replacements for them are around the $30 range). She knows I would put money to good use and would rather give me money then send me clothing I don't need or even really want.

I tell her that I'd appreciate anything she gave me but I am honest if she asks me about something like money or gift cards. If I need something replaced I'll mention "Well I could really use some more Copics and X store sells them." or "Boyfriend and I spotted some books at Barnes and Noble we'd like that would be nice to get".

It's bothersome to me when someone asks what another individual wants but is unwilling to accept the answers. You do not get to ask and reject the answer because you personally don't like it, then you're just giving a gift for your own sake.

TootsNYC

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2012, 07:49:54 PM »
My sister in law and mother in law both ended up asking for ideas of what to get my DH and I.  For myself, I mentioned that my amazon wishlist was up to date with lots of books that I'd like to get, and that I'm saving up to buy a Microsoft Surface tablet, so a gift card to the Microsoft store would be welcomed.  My sister in law said "good to know", my mother in law said, "So you're saying cash is the thing to get you this year". :-[  ::) I kind of stumbled and said, "Well, I wouldn't say no, but that's not what I was trying to say".  My mom is still convinced I want an iPad, even after telling her it's something completely different.   ???  One out of three isn't bad, I guess.  Clearly I could use more work with this!

Well, if I'm reading this right, you've learned something really useful!

You don't want to suggest gift cards or contributions to your MIL anymore. That's "good to know" as well.

tiff019

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Re: Explain why I'm asking for this?
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2012, 02:00:24 AM »
Personally I think it totally depends on the tone MIL used (which the OP didn't mention) It could have been a positive or neutral tone of 'oh ok... cash it is' or it could have been annoyed/disgusted.