Author Topic: SO of "Do You Speak?"  (Read 2806 times)

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Flora Louise

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SO of "Do You Speak?"
« on: November 09, 2012, 12:22:02 PM »
So what is the appropriate response to adults who don't answer when you speak to them?

Just this morning, I came down the hall at work and told a co-worker, who has a habit of not replying when spoken to, that I had fulfilled a request she made of me.  She stared at me as though she were irritated and once again refused to speak. I'm used to her so I just left but honestly, I want to call out loudly, "I SAID, I DID WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?"  And no, she isn't hard of hearing. No we don't have a history. No, she has no reason to dislike me. It just seems she doesn't feel she needs to speak when someone addresses her.
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Shoo

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2012, 12:42:11 PM »
In this case, I think it's entirely appropriate to ask, "Did you hear what I just said?  I can't tell."  Put it on her to answer you. 

From my perspective, this person is employing some kind of "power play" that she believes makes her your superior.  I absolutely loathe people like this.

WillyNilly

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2012, 01:14:50 PM »
I would discuss this with the boss. Her lack of response is hostile and unprofessional. Even a nod or grunt would be better.

DaDancingPsych

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2012, 01:34:32 PM »
I might start wording my questions so that no response means that I am off the hook.

"I assume that you received the completed request?" Smile. Wait. "Great! Glad everything was to your satisfaction."

If you later find out that she did not receive the work, then you can say that you asked her about it, but her reply made you believe that everything was good.

TootsNYC

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2012, 02:36:16 PM »
Start saying, "Acknowledge?"

And then wait for a one-syllable answer.

nyarlathotep

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2012, 03:07:29 PM »
Make up your own answer. Respond as if she's just said it.

That'll make her drop the habit really quickly.  >:D

Mikayla

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2012, 04:59:22 PM »
A little against the grain here, but are you sure this required a response?  If she had requested you inform her as soon as you'd done it, obviously that's rude on her part and I agree with the ideas above.   But if it was a routine assignment and she'd never asked to be informed, I'm not even sure what response you might have wanted from her.

Then again, I come from the POV where I've had people who consistently did this when it wasn't necessary, and I really didn't need the play-by-play. 

Also, could she have been irritated because she was in the middle of something and felt interrupted?  It sounds like I'm defending her and I'm not.   It's more trying to figure out why she might be acting this way.

mj

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2012, 05:30:44 PM »
I had some similar thoughts as Mikayla (even though I do think your coworker is being rude by refusing to answer.) 

If I kept getting the non response response, I would take to emailing her if feasible.  That way there is proof since there wasn't any verbal acknowledgement that she heard you.  I'm not sure that saying anything to her about her lack of response will do any good anyway.

White Lotus

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2012, 05:56:21 PM »
Not only would I email, I would make it a drop-dead.  "No response means you have acknowledged and accepted (whatever.)"
I can't imagine what would make someone behave like this either, and I have no patience for people who leave others dangling.
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Mental Magpie

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Re: SO of "Do You Speak?"
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2012, 12:00:46 PM »
A little against the grain here, but are you sure this required a response?  If she had requested you inform her as soon as you'd done it, obviously that's rude on her part and I agree with the ideas above.   But if it was a routine assignment and she'd never asked to be informed, I'm not even sure what response you might have wanted from her.

Then again, I come from the POV where I've had people who consistently did this when it wasn't necessary, and I really didn't need the play-by-play. 

Also, could she have been irritated because she was in the middle of something and felt interrupted?  It sounds like I'm defending her and I'm not.   It's more trying to figure out why she might be acting this way.

I personally think that any time someone speaks to you, any sort of acknowledgement is necessary to let them know you heard and/or understood them.  Even a nod works, a small smile, a "Thanks" or an "OK".  That's it, and that doesn't require much effort at all.
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