Working with a Bully

[Millicent]

Ms Bully and my DH have both worked with this production company for 7 years. For the last 3 years, the show has been the same. This is a puppet show working mostly with marionettes so there are usually 2 sometimes 3 people at a time on the bridge hanging over the stage. The show is preformed 7 or 8 times each day from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. My DH works just the weekends, and Ms Bully has worked 7 days a week with just 2 or 3 random days off in that whole period of time.

From backstage it's like a well-coordinated dance. The puppets go from the stage to the wall just behind them and people move around and beside each other in synch. What Ms. Bully has been doing is telling my DH he is in her way. She'd maneuver in such a way that he would have a hard time getting around her. She'd have her characters stand in such a place where he couldn't move his characters where they needed to be, and in the last show of the season, which I was watching from the audience, she was having her puppets doing pirouettes as they entered the stage and just generally being all over the place. I know my DH isn't perfect, but in this case, judging from what I saw and from what other have said she is being bossy with others, and being downright mean to him. He isn’t doing a bad job, she just seems to be getting cranky after doing the show for a solid month and he’s an easy target.

The email is sent, we’re just waiting on a response. He has no problem working with her during rehearsals before the show opens. He would just prefer to not deal with her during the weekend. We both understand that he may decide to keep her and lose my DH because she will work every day as well as a few other reasons. I just hope the other performers talked with the director like they said they would. There is nothing he can do about that if they haven’t. He can only take care of himself.

[athersgeo]

If she's being cranky from doing a straight month of shows, perhaps she needs to be told NOT to do every single show - that it would be better for her to have a few more days off.

Doing the math, there's upwards of 210 shows performed during the period the show runs for. This woman's doing all bar 21 of them. That's a heck of a workload and it's can't be healthy for her. It also makes me wonder if she's perhaps resenting your husband for being such a "part timer" for only doing the weekend shows and that's why she's treating him so badly.

[Slartibartfast]

Sounds like you've got the email sent, but just in case you end up having to do some followup:

"Hey, it's great to be asked back!  I know there's no tactful way to say this, but I've just gotta ask: will BullyLady be working the full show again this year?  If I'm going to be working alongside her, something really needs to be said to her.  She was pretty consistently rude to me and several other staff members, which - even though it got old fast - I can handle.  However, she also made a point of blocking me from being able to do my job by [insert examples here, like purposely standing in his way so his puppets couldn't get to where they needed to be].  She also doesn't seem to understand she's not a director, because she got horribly offended when the rest of the staff didn't make all the changes she felt we should make.  If I'm going to be working with her, I want to know how the higher-ups plan to handle her this year if all this happens again."

[Millicent]

He got a reply. Apparently they need her so my husband will be working with her one of the two weekend days. After thinking about it, he decided he'd take it. It's better than putting up with her for both days, I suppose.

Thanks for the advice all!

[snappylt]

He got a reply. Apparently they need her so my husband will be working with her one of the two weekend days. After thinking about it, he decided he'd take it. It's better than putting up with her for both days, I suppose.

Thanks for the advice all!

As a precaution, your husband might want to keep a little diary each day he works with the bully this time around.  He could just document the date and her bullying behaviors that day.  I would hope he'd never need to use the documentation.  But, if she escalates her behavior, your husband would have a specific record of what she's done on specific dates.

[Lexophile]

He got a reply. Apparently they need her so my husband will be working with her one of the two weekend days. After thinking about it, he decided he'd take it. It's better than putting up with her for both days, I suppose.

Thanks for the advice all!

Was there any mention of the fact that she's a bully? Is the director going to address the situation or does he just expect your DH to just suck it up because "they need her?"