Possibly the most outrageous request I've ever heard! Update pg. 9, 15, 20, 29

[SiotehCat]

Ive been following the thread, but its been long, so I can't remember if this has been brought up.

Is it possible that Louise has issues with Susan that have nothing to do with the arm, and she just decided to use that as an excuse?

Maybe Dave knows more about how Louise feels then he is letting on?

I find it hard to believe that Louise had feelings about something and didn't confide in Dave first.

[Auntie Mame]

I will say this again.  Your friend Susan has the class of Tim Gunn and the Grace of Jackie O.

[Dr. F.]

I will say this again.  Your friend Susan has the class of Tim Gunn and the Grace of Jackie O.

As usual, I agree totally with Auntie.

[wolfie]

I agree that Susan should not try to protect Louisa from her own bad behaviour. While this may appear to be the "high road", it's giving people a distorted idea of who Louisa is. If Louisa does not believe her behaviour is atrocious, there's no harm in telling people exactly what she did, right? Not necessarily, "Louisa is a female dog who kicked me out," but "Louisa decided that I didn't fit in with the look she was going for, and I agreed to step down." Then, hopefully, Louisa's friends and relatives will help Louisa understand why this was not appropriate. Otherwise, she will continue to believe that she acted correctly.

That is presuming that Louise had not already seen the error of her ways by having her fiance talk to her about it. For all we know she is deeply upset about her own behavior and wishes the ground would swallow her up every time she even thinks about it. I know that in situations where I did something wrong and was upset at myself for it having people harping on me about it didn't help at all. Unless the point is to make Louise withdraw from the family because she feels they will never accept her now?

If Louise actually had grown that way, surely she would have asked Susan to be in the wedding party, and apologized for her appallingly heinous behavior? In the proper, matching, dress, without trying to draw attention to Susan's disability by demanding a frumpy, mismatched dress and requiring that Susan wear her prosthetic?

Not that Susan would necessarily accept at this point, and I would not blame her if she did not. Louise not only burned any bridges but cut away the banks of the river.

Not necessarily - they might have decided it was best if Susan wasn't in the wedding party. We also don't know that she didn't apologize.

[Danika]

Is it possible that Louise has issues with Susan that have nothing to do with the arm, and she just decided to use that as an excuse?

  Yep, I threw this suggestion out meekly a few times. I still believe it is likely.

[PeterM]

Is it possible that Louise has issues with Susan that have nothing to do with the arm, and she just decided to use that as an excuse?

  Yep, I threw this suggestion out meekly a few times. I still believe it is likely.

If this is the case, though, it makes Louise out to be even stupider than I already thought. If she has issues with Susan, said issues may or may not be legitimate or fair, and may or may not appear legitimate/fair to outsiders. By instead pretending that the issue is about Susan's arm, Louise has absolutely guaranteed that literally everyone who hears about the falling out will both take Susan's side and think Louise is a scumbag. I just don't see it as a useful strategy.

[lowspark]

If I were Susan, I'd make sure to wear some kind of sleeveless dress to the wedding. 

[Cleargleam]

If I were Susan, I'd make sure to wear some kind of sleeveless dress to the wedding. 

Wishing there were a like button.  

[TurtleDove]

Louise not only burned any bridges but cut away the banks of the river.

According to Susan, this is not true.  I don't think Susan has anything to gain from actively shunning Louise, even though she has been wronged.  If she wants a relationship with her brother, it is in her best interest to take the high road.

[HonorH]

Louise not only burned any bridges but cut away the banks of the river.

According to Susan, this is not true.  I don't think Susan has anything to gain from actively shunning Louise, even though she has been wronged.  If she wants a relationship with her brother, it is in her best interest to take the high road.

That's my feeling on this. Yes, Susan could totally trash Louise's reputation in the family with only a few words, all of them true and even polite. But what would she gain from doing so? Louise wouldn't "get away with" her ill-thought-out stunt, no, but there'd be no hope for reconciliation, and it would affect her relationship with her brother. By taking the high road, she's leaving the door open. Hopefully, Louise has learned from this incident, and they can build on that.

[Snooks]

OP is there any update to this?

[asb8]

The wedding went off without a hitch.  Susan and Louise are (to quote a favorite author of mine), polite in public and don't communicate in private. 

[Winterlight]

That seems like the best solution. Glad things went smoothly for Susan's sake.

[Luci]

That seems like the best solution. Glad things went smoothly for Susan's sake.

For everyone's sake, especially Susan's. Hope the guests didn't know how awkward it could have been!

Thanks for the update. (And thanks for asking, Snooks.)

[Snooks]

Thanks for the update, glad to hear things ended up civil in the end.  I take it Susan was not a bridesmaid?