General Etiquette > Techno-quette

I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!

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TootsNYC:
I had some post up vaguely related to the election or politics--not terribly strong one way or the other.

My cousin-in-law and my DH started making political comments, some of them derogatory, which annoyed me, so I just deleted their entire exchange. And put up a post that said, "Sorry, David and DH--not on my wall."

I don't really have a question--but it was an interesting experience. I knew the comments COULD go that way, but it hasn't happened to me very often. So this was a first.

Anyway, I encourage you all to do it whenever something is annoying like that.

JenJay:
I had to do that once. I'm a moderate who leans one way most of the time but definitely enjoys hearing from all sides before settling on an opinion. My dear friend is firmly on the side I lean toward and a three relatives are to the other extreme.

One relative in particular used to turn everything I said into an opportunity to rant about politics and then the other two would take that as a green light to jump in. Of course this opened the door for my friend to argue her side and away we'd go. It got tense often enough that I started censoring what I wrote to ensure NO political spin could be put on anything I posted.

I made the mistake of posting that I was amazed at the volume of fundraising materials my kids were bringing home. That innocent (I thought) remark unraveled into a debate so ugly that I deleted the entire thread then emailed my relatives and told them to stop bringing politics into every dang thing i said. One relative apologized and still participates on my wall, one acted like nothing had happened but has respected my wishes, and one deleted me from their page like a big baby. Meh. Good riddance!

The Wild One, Forever:
I was concerned about this type of thing happening this election cycle, so what I did was to post a tongue-in-cheek "announcement" on my wall early in the fall.  It stated that I wanted to *keep* my friends, so there would be no political discussion on my page.  This was really hard for me because I am passionate about my political views, but I have so many family members and friends on the "other side" that I feared some hurt feelings, as some people are unable to sustain a debate without taking things really personally.  A couple times, I posted some silly videos with the disclaimer that whatever one's political leanings, they might find them humorous, and those didn't appear to offend anyone. 

Removing the heated discussion was exactly the right thing to do.  Your wall, your rules.  In the past, I  removed some snarky comments made by my former sister-in-law regarding, of all things, dog training.  My mom's good friend had posted some great advice, and my former sister-in-law said something dismissive and rather nasty.  Gone!

Jen Jay, I wish I could say it surprised me that an innocuous topic such as kids' fundraising was turned into a political mudslinging match, but sadly, it does not.  Something similar happened to my sister on her wall, (different initial topic, but went all political fairly rapidly.)  She chose to allow it to stay up, and I have to admit that it was kind of entertaining to see how far people went with it.   It's good that the one relative in your case apologized and moved on.  Maybe the other will mend fences now that the election is over?

JenJay:

--- Quote from: The Wild One, Forever on November 13, 2012, 12:07:42 AM --- It's good that the one relative in your case apologized and moved on.  Maybe the other will mend fences now that the election is over?

--- End quote ---

I hope not, the stuff he posts on his own wall is really offensive. I was honestly relieved when he deleted me because I'd been struggling with my desire to delete him versus not wanting to rock that boat. He actually deleted me several months ago and then made a point of "liking" and commenting on all the pictures of my husband and kids that a mutual relative posted to their wall while completely ignoring the ones that I was in. Real mature.  ::)

Normally I would leave a debate going because hearing from someone who feels passionately about an issue inspires me to look into it a little more thoroughly and that's always a good thing. Unfortunately I had to cut this particular group off because they do a lot of what I call "Them-ing" which is where, instead of focusing on what you think about the issue, your argument devolves into "Well if it wasn't for THEM..." and I really can't stand that. There isn't one single group of people solely responsible for all the problems in the world. I wish that were the case, we could just round them up and stick them on an island somewhere!

spookycatlady:
I had to do this once, too.

I posted something silly my husband had said earlier that day and one of my friends became righteously indignant and political about the issue.  The weird thing was, she and I share the same political viewpoint and my husband does not.  I thought his comment was amusing, even if I didn't necessarily agree with it.  However, she had bent his comment so far out of distortion and sucked the joy out the room, so to speak. I deleted the whole works and felt all the better for it.

This was a much more polite way for me to go than seeing her righteous indignation and raising her an argumentative & dismissive diatribe.

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