Author Topic: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!  (Read 4908 times)

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TootsNYC

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I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« on: November 11, 2012, 09:05:04 PM »
I had some post up vaguely related to the election or politics--not terribly strong one way or the other.

My cousin-in-law and my DH started making political comments, some of them derogatory, which annoyed me, so I just deleted their entire exchange. And put up a post that said, "Sorry, David and DH--not on my wall."

I don't really have a question--but it was an interesting experience. I knew the comments COULD go that way, but it hasn't happened to me very often. So this was a first.

Anyway, I encourage you all to do it whenever something is annoying like that.

JenJay

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2012, 09:21:52 PM »
I had to do that once. I'm a moderate who leans one way most of the time but definitely enjoys hearing from all sides before settling on an opinion. My dear friend is firmly on the side I lean toward and a three relatives are to the other extreme.

One relative in particular used to turn everything I said into an opportunity to rant about politics and then the other two would take that as a green light to jump in. Of course this opened the door for my friend to argue her side and away we'd go. It got tense often enough that I started censoring what I wrote to ensure NO political spin could be put on anything I posted.

I made the mistake of posting that I was amazed at the volume of fundraising materials my kids were bringing home. That innocent (I thought) remark unraveled into a debate so ugly that I deleted the entire thread then emailed my relatives and told them to stop bringing politics into every dang thing i said. One relative apologized and still participates on my wall, one acted like nothing had happened but has respected my wishes, and one deleted me from their page like a big baby. Meh. Good riddance!

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2012, 12:07:42 AM »
I was concerned about this type of thing happening this election cycle, so what I did was to post a tongue-in-cheek "announcement" on my wall early in the fall.  It stated that I wanted to *keep* my friends, so there would be no political discussion on my page.  This was really hard for me because I am passionate about my political views, but I have so many family members and friends on the "other side" that I feared some hurt feelings, as some people are unable to sustain a debate without taking things really personally.  A couple times, I posted some silly videos with the disclaimer that whatever one's political leanings, they might find them humorous, and those didn't appear to offend anyone. 

Removing the heated discussion was exactly the right thing to do.  Your wall, your rules.  In the past, I  removed some snarky comments made by my former sister-in-law regarding, of all things, dog training.  My mom's good friend had posted some great advice, and my former sister-in-law said something dismissive and rather nasty.  Gone!

Jen Jay, I wish I could say it surprised me that an innocuous topic such as kids' fundraising was turned into a political mudslinging match, but sadly, it does not.  Something similar happened to my sister on her wall, (different initial topic, but went all political fairly rapidly.)  She chose to allow it to stay up, and I have to admit that it was kind of entertaining to see how far people went with it.   It's good that the one relative in your case apologized and moved on.  Maybe the other will mend fences now that the election is over?
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JenJay

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2012, 07:22:11 AM »
It's good that the one relative in your case apologized and moved on.  Maybe the other will mend fences now that the election is over?

I hope not, the stuff he posts on his own wall is really offensive. I was honestly relieved when he deleted me because I'd been struggling with my desire to delete him versus not wanting to rock that boat. He actually deleted me several months ago and then made a point of "liking" and commenting on all the pictures of my husband and kids that a mutual relative posted to their wall while completely ignoring the ones that I was in. Real mature.  ::)

Normally I would leave a debate going because hearing from someone who feels passionately about an issue inspires me to look into it a little more thoroughly and that's always a good thing. Unfortunately I had to cut this particular group off because they do a lot of what I call "Them-ing" which is where, instead of focusing on what you think about the issue, your argument devolves into "Well if it wasn't for THEM..." and I really can't stand that. There isn't one single group of people solely responsible for all the problems in the world. I wish that were the case, we could just round them up and stick them on an island somewhere!

spookycatlady

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2012, 01:33:19 PM »
I had to do this once, too.

I posted something silly my husband had said earlier that day and one of my friends became righteously indignant and political about the issue.  The weird thing was, she and I share the same political viewpoint and my husband does not.  I thought his comment was amusing, even if I didn't necessarily agree with it.  However, she had bent his comment so far out of distortion and sucked the joy out the room, so to speak. I deleted the whole works and felt all the better for it.

This was a much more polite way for me to go than seeing her righteous indignation and raising her an argumentative & dismissive diatribe.

Specky

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2012, 06:44:56 PM »
I regularly clean my wall.  Sometimes, bleach is required.

SoCalVal

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2012, 09:31:34 PM »
I think I've found the need to delete comments only twice -- neither for political reasons.  I warned the first person (my sister) and told her to take the discussion to PMs (she was on a health care rant at me), but she wouldn't listen so one or two more of her subsequent posts were deleted before she gave up.  The other person (an old friend) made a derogatory comment about people who practice religion after I shared a picture of a church.  That was strike 2 for him where religion is concerned so not only did I delete his comments, I restricted his access to my page and he was dropped as a wedding guest (I had not yet sent out the save-the-dates at that point so cutting him out isn't apparent yet or he doesn't care).

Otherwise, I don't usually have need for deleting the comments of others.  Fortunately, most of my FB friends have the sense not to post unacceptable things to my wall.



Nannerdoman

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2012, 04:32:10 PM »
Can someone instruct me how to do this? Because a friend of mine posted something that I found really offensive. Thanks.
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JenJay

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2012, 06:35:36 PM »
If you hover over the top right corner you should see a little drop-down with some options.

Mr NiceGuy

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2012, 01:29:52 PM »
I was a political science minor and I have frequently thought of running for various offices.  I just find the entire process fascinating.  My friends know that I regularly post about politics and I know that some friends have unsubscribed from my updates because they don't agree or don't care.  I don't believe it has ever caused any hardships, and I totally understand on the flip side people who are just not enticed by the idea of discussing these things.

Since emotions can frequently run high during these conversations, I have simple rules that I make clear any time I post on a political topic.  1. This is the place to discuss this topic.  Not on my post underneath this talking about my girlfriend and I visiting a local winery, and not two weeks from now when you decide you're annoyed with me and want to revisit a topic.  2. No personal attacks against anyone.  Stick to the topic.  3. Feel free to use the 'unfollow post' button once you comment to be removed from further updates to the thread.

I have found this gives a friendly and safe place for people who like to discuss social and political issues without much drama.  My instance of needing to delete posts is very low.  I guess I've only done it probably 10 times in my life, and I have operated my Facebook account this way since probably 2006.

Never be afraid to make expectations for posting on your own personal page clear, and never be afraid to enforce them.  It's best for everyone!
« Last Edit: December 19, 2012, 01:31:33 PM by Mr NiceGuy »

MsOverThinker

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2012, 04:35:53 PM »
Never be afraid to make expectations for posting on your own personal page clear, and never be afraid to enforce them.  It's best for everyone!

This.  I have only had to use that a handful of times.  My wall is my wall -- and my grandmother is one of my "friends".  If grandma would be offended, it doesn't belong there.  Honestly, even if grandma weren't, I'd still probably delete some of them, but it gives me an excellent guideline.  There are some causes I support which she and grandpa might not agree with, but I don't post anything that would be offensive (vulgarity, violence, personal/political attacks, and general trolling are prohibited).  I typically don't even tell the person -- I just remove it.  If they were to confront me about it (no one has yet), I would frankly explain the grandma rule.

Mr Hero

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2012, 02:30:35 AM »
There was only one time that I was informed a comment I made had to be deleted.  My sister-in-law made a post mentioning the foster kid her and brother were taking care of, but did not mention names because of some rules.  Having no clue about these rules, I did use the kid's name.  I was sent a polite PM telling me that she had to delete my comment.  No drama, just polite conversation where I expressed my thanks for telling me about the rule and for her dilligence so she doesn't get in trouble.

LilacRosey

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2012, 09:50:26 PM »
I dont get alot of comments on my facebook page because most of my friends only use it to look at grandkid pics and stuff but if I do I'll take your advice!, LilacRosey

diesel_darlin

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Re: I deleted comments on my Facebook wall for the first time!
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2012, 10:18:22 PM »
MsOver Thinker, I too follow the Grandma rule. My Grandma is not on fb but I follow the rule that if I would be embarrassed for Grandma to read it, it doesn't need to be on there.