A host is in charge of setting the "tone" of the party through the invitation. If you do not communicate to your guests the "type" of dinner you expect to have, then you can hardly get annoyed if your guests don't know what you expect either.
If you are putting a lot of effort and money into something, then it's incumbant upon you to discretely word the invite (even a verbal one) so that people know it's an "event" meal and not just a casual night over. Perhaps something like "I have this fantastic recipe for skewered LaDeeDah, and a great red wine I've been dying to open- [when] would you be free to come over for dinner and cards/a nice catch-up/movie". If I *don't* tell you that "Well, I'd love to come over but jr has to be home by 9, so I wouldn't be able to stay all that late" I'd be rude. By letting you know this, you can either tell me that's fine or plan something different/do it another time. This is what I do all the time- I consider it being thoughtful of my guests schedules while making sure I don't end up disappointed in my plans. Now, someone that knows you well will know how you do dinner, so you don't usually need to spell it out anymore.
If I get invited to dinner and you don't know me well enough for me to *know* how you do dinner, you'd better tell me what you had in mind before I come over if you are going to get offended or put out if I don't do it. Especially if what you expect is such a large commitment of my day- I've been to weddings that haven't lasted as long as some people expect every dinner guest to stay for.