S/O what does 'coming over for lunch' mean to you... (sorry, a little long)

[siamesecat2965]

When I was at school I arranged to meet a friend to study on Saturday. She suggested coming over at 10am and staying until mid afternoon so I thought she'd probably offer lunch. I don't eat breakfast so around 1pm I was getting hungry, by 2 I was ravenous. Then she said "oh, I don't eat lunch by the way, hope that's not a problem". Silly me, I said it was fine and was starving by the time I got home.

I am old and wise enough now to laugh and say "oh gosh, and I don't eat breakfast. I'll just go out and get some lunch or else I will be hungry!"

I've had that happen to me as well.  Just because YOU do something that's different from most people, doesn't mean everyone else is ok with it. My cousin who I mentioned upthread also did this to me.  We had been out shopping all day, and I casually said "so what are we doing for dinner?" Now she's on some sort of diet plan where you have shakes, and meal bars, etc. So her response is "oh, I was just going to have a shake" I must have had some sort of look on my face, as she hesitated and then said "oh, well, we can stop here for you, or get takeout, or I can make something" but it was clear it was an afterthought, and she hadn't really considered ME at all.  I love her to death, but have learned I need to be proactive and let her know waht while she can subsist on her "diet" stuff, I cannot, and need to eat regular meals or I'm cranky.

[blahblahblah]

I'm not a terribly assertive person in general, far from it, but I feel so exhausted and cranky if I don't eat that I have no problems telling my friends, "Dude, I'm starving, I'm going to get something to eat before I keel over." Maybe not in those exact words, but that's the gist. Even if we're just technically hanging out and I wasn't specifically invited over "for lunch" the way the OP was.

Expressing hunger isn't something I feel all that shy about, lol.

[shivering]

People shouldn't mention meals in invites unless they actually plan on serving the meal or they say "come over AFTER lunch" (or breakfast or dinner). Better to say "come over at noon." However, I'd expect a visit without food to only last 1-2 hrs, not the entire afternoon.

Mindy may just be a space cadet and not know any better, but intentional or not, her social graces were definitely lacking in that situation.

[Minmom3]

Times like these are when the use of the word 'hangry' comes in to play.