Author Topic: moving stories  (Read 1612 times)

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Emmy

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moving stories
« on: November 13, 2012, 07:43:19 PM »
I live on the east coast and have lived close to the same area all of my life.  My parent are here and I enjoy a fairly close relationship with them.  I have a DD who is 15 months that they absolutely adore.  DH has also lived here his whole life and his family still lives on the east coast, but not near us.  There has been a change in management at DH's job and he is no longer completely satisfied working there.  A headhunter contacted him about a job on the west coast that he would be qualified for and we are discussing the possibility of looking into that job. 

I would love to hear the experience of other people about moving to a different region.  What prompted you to move?  Was it difficult to adjust and what exactly was the most difficult or unexpected aspect?  Was there culture shock?

Seraphim

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2012, 11:25:14 PM »
First of all, I am in Australia so YMMV

Less than a month ago we moved from the South of Australia to the North, about a 3800km distance.

The move itself wasn't too bad. A bit expensive and a really long drive, but thats ok.

It has been a bit of a culture shock. The people up here are very laid back and relaxed. We went from 'normal' Aussie weather 2-17c in the winter and 17-40c in the summer, to a Tropical region where there is a 'Wet' and 'Dry' season. So much hotter and much much more humid (28-34 everyday with a minimum of 80% humidity). It's kind of like living in a sauna.

Personally, this move has been amazing for us. DH and I found without family around we have had to rely on each other much more. We have barely fought, and our relationship is so much stronger. It has really forced us to trust each other and be a much closer unit. There is also much more work up here, and so many oppertunities for career growth. I am currently in a position that is about 4 levels up from what I was doing before.

I am a pretty social person, so it has been hard being without my friends and family - but it just makes you go out and meet new people. I have used Gumtree (Aussie version of Craigslist) and met a few nice people. Having a child you would probably meet people through pre-school, mothers group, play dates etc without to much hassle.

Biggest hardship - Leaving behind my family and friends
Positives - Stronger relationship with DH, better job and most importantly an Adventure!

The main reason we came is I didn't want to look back in 10-15 years and regret that we didn't give it a shot while we could. Worst case senario you pack up and move back.




kherbert05

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2012, 11:53:41 PM »
My Mom moved from Montague, PEI to Montreal to Houston, Texas.

She had 4 sisters and 5 brothers. I am close with all my Aunts and Uncles and most of their kids. Way back when we kept in touch with air mail written on tissue thin paper. Now we keep close using facebook and skype.
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AylaM

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2012, 01:04:06 AM »
We were/are military, so we moved back and forth between the east coast and Hawaii.

And I'm just graduating so I'll be wherever I get a job.

The hardest part of moving, for us, was food/culture and weather.  But keep in mind we stayed in the same type of community - suburbs.

Moving between different regions may mean missing something foodwise.  The staples seem to be there, but other things you expect are not.  None of the candy and treats I grew up with in Hawaii were on the east coast.  And the food culture is different.  Apparently only people in Hawaii eat spam, who knew? And then the restaurants are different.  Not just different names, but an abundance of some types of restaurants and a lack of others.  And even the common restaurants can be different.  McDonald served a Portuguese sausage and rice plate for breakfast in Hawaii.  The chain bowling alley in Hawaii had some local favorites that aren't here.

For the weather, it seems like the first year or two in the new place we are still expecting the old climate.  Either the summers are to hot or the winters are too cold.  Or both. Then we adjust.


Slartibartfast

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2012, 04:05:42 AM »
I grew up in Wisconsin, went to North Carolina for college, met DH there, then we both moved back to Alabama where he grew up.  As a result, I'm a thousand miles away from my parents but about three miles away from my in-laws  ::)  DH's sisters both ended up here in town with us, but my sister and brother are still in the "moving all over before settling down" stage.  My sister went from North Carolina to DC to Rhode Island to Tennessee (landing about 2.5 hours from me), and my brother went from North Carolina to Pennsylvania to Texas.

As a result, I do see my sister on an occasional (but regular) basis, but I think one of the hardest things about moving more than a day's drive away is how much harder it is to visit family.  When you figure in two (or more, once your kids are older than 2) airplane tickets, suddenly it doesn't make sense to visit for less than five or six days, so then you have to work out vacation time, and if you're visiting family who don't have the space to put up the whole clan (such as sibs just getting on their feet) you have to factor in a hotel as well.  All told, it will take most of your vacation time just to see your immediate family - which means you probably won't get to see cousins, grandparents, etc. very often unless they live close to your parents or they are willing to come see you.

I do like the little differences - I think everyone should live away from home (at least a state away) for a year or two.  It really helps highlight all the little quirks you might not have noticed about your hometown - strange expressions, odd regional holidays nobody else has heard of, favorite local foods.  It's easier if your parents still live in your hometown, because if you really get homesick for specific foods they can send you some  :P

ETA: The time zone shift can really get you, too, if you're going east coast to west coast.  If your parents go to bed on the early side, they'll be asleep before you get home from work - which makes chatting difficult  :-\
« Last Edit: November 14, 2012, 04:07:57 AM by Slartibartfast »

BatCity

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2012, 08:46:38 AM »
We have made two major moves (so far).

When DH and I were first married, we were living in California.  A job opportunity had us move to Austin, Texas. 

It turned out to be great for us.  We weren't happy in San Jose, and in Austin we were able to afford a very nice house.  It also gave us a chance to grow and develop away from family and others who had expectations of us.  We ended up living in Austin for 16 years.

We just moved back to California earlier this year.  On the surface, things are fantastic...I have hardly any commute, the weather is beyond awesome, we spent the Summer at the beach and (believe it or not) DD's school is better for her than the one in Texas.  What's been really weird is that I had no idea how much I would miss my friends in Texas.  While people here are friendly enough, it's going to take a while to form lasting bonds, if it happens at all.  While it's nice to be close enough (~4 hours) to drive to see my own family, I'm finding I talk on the phone with my Texas friends at least once a week and plan on going back to visit often.

Sterling

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2012, 09:35:12 AM »
Well my situation isn't similar to yours but I moved from my home town in Mississippi to a larger city in northern Arkansas, about 6 hours away.  I didn't know anyone here.  I had left my first husband and needed to get as far away as possible.  I had heard about this region and literally packed my car and left in the dead of night.  It was scary.  I had money to last a couple of month and knew that I eventually wanted to go to college here.  So I signed on at a temp agency that did placements at the University and in 2001 was hired to work for the department I am now in.  I was hired as a receptionist.  Worked for several years while going to school.  Left the department to get a masters and came back as one of the higher ups.

My husband and I have it in our 5 year plan to move to Seattle.  It is scary for me because it is a much larger region than I have ever lived and a much different climate.  But I have him and I'll have our child and I think I can do it. 
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MommyPenguin

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2012, 10:23:25 AM »
I grew up in Maryland and married there, and then my husband joined the military.  That necessitated a move to New England for a while, then to the Midwest, and we're moving back to the East Coast this spring.  It was really hard leaving family and friends, and I haven't been great about meeting new friends in person since then (the longest we've lived in one place has been our current place that we've been in a little over a year, other than that we've been averaging 10 months), but I think part of that was *knowing* that they'd be temporary, so I didn't make a lot of effort to meet people.  Our next station will be longer and I'll probably try to get more involved there.

The climate was a bit colder in New England than the mid-Atlantic, and here it's somewhere in-between, but I didn't find it a big deal.  We did do a 6-week training in the deep South in November, and that was really interesting because it was so much warmer.  A few things that I *did* find very weird for a long time were  how *white* that parts of New England and the Midwest I lived in were, at least compared to the area where I grew up and where I had been living.  It felt a little like living in Pleasantville or something for a while and was kind of creepy.  Also, they call soda/Coke "pop," which either makes me think of lollipops or 50s greasers in leather jackets and slicked-back hair ("sodapop").  But in general, I love my current locale and I'll miss it a lot when we leave.  I wasn't as happy with New England, but some of that was due to a landlord we were having issues with, etc., rather than anything being wrong with the locale.  And we did have an awesome church there that I still miss.

Leaving family was hard.  Our parents *adore* our children, and they're my parents' only grandchildren.  At the same time, my parents have a tendency to spoil them and sometimes try to override our attempts to keep things in check, so in some ways it's helped a bit with that (in some ways, it's made it worse, because "this is the last time we'll get to <whatever> during this visit!  We don't get to see them much, can't we just treat them to <whatever>?").  I also really miss having freely available babysitters whenever necessary.  Since we left home, we've had babysitters twice, I think.  The girls did go to a family daycare for about 10-15 hours when we were moving from one base and when we moved onto another, because the base offered it as a benefit when you were arriving or leaving base.  They didn't like it, though, and beg not to go back (not because anything was wrong, they're just Mommy's girls and I think felt a little abandoned that I wanted to pack/unpack without them around).

At the same time, there's something exciting and freeing about starting over.  You get to start in a new, fresh house.  There's the novelty of deciding where to keep everything and how you want stuff set up.  Everything seems so brand new.  It's fun looking for a new playgroup, library, and church, at least as long as you don't find them and discover they aren't at all what you wanted.  Chores are more fun for a while because they're different, as you get used to a new place.  It's a great time to purge things you don't want or to make a fresh start with your relationships, yourself, the name you go by, precedents you set with your kids, etc.

megswsu

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2012, 10:26:04 AM »
What prompted us to move from CA to NC......the Army! lol

I think the toughest things to get used have been missing my friends and the weather. And not just b/c CA has great weather, it does, I just HATE the humidity. Other than that, NC isn't *bad* per say, but I do miss home. It's hard making friends when you're older, and where we live there aren't the same amenities I was used to in CA, which is making it tough for me to do the things I enjoy which would probably lead to making friends. And while I do miss my family for sure, nothing beats the ability to meet up w/your girlfriends just to chat or whatever.

Anyway, as with all things in life it is how you approach it. If you sulk, don't make an effort, etc, then you'll be miserable. And of course it just takes time to get used to your new environment as well.

Oh, and as someone else mentioned the 3 hour time difference is kind of a pain. I really have to coordinate w/my parents to be able to Skype as we have to factor in the 3 hours, nap times/bed times, etc, but it can be done. Technology really does help I'll say that for sure!!





Lexophile

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2012, 12:58:23 PM »
'Nother military brat here. I graduated high school from my thirteenth school. On average, we moved about every three years. When my dad finally retired and we stopped hopping around the world, I got itchy.

After my dad retired, we moved to Florida. I started high school and threw myself into making friends because we all thought we were staying there. Three years later, dad took a different job in Missuori and we were gone again.

That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was halfway through my junior year and moving away from the only roots I had ever put down. The culture shock was hard for me. I was a teenager and all my classmates had known each other since Kindergarten. There were no other military families and I really was the odd duck. Florida was full of people who had moved there from somewhere else. Missouri wasn't.

Now I live in a state where the only family we have close is my MIL (who is a Godsend) and I wouldn't have it any other way. Leaving Missouri and my own family behind was the best thing I ever did for myself.
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RebeccainGA

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2012, 02:11:16 PM »
I moved from FL to AR when DP and I got serious. DP had joint custody of DD at the time, and we had to move there instead of her moving to me because of that. AR was a major culture shock - weather, time zone, food, all sorts of stuff was different. I was there for about 8 years, and finally got where I was happy and genuinely liked the place - and then my company decided that they needed to transfer me to GA! Coming to GA was almost coming home, since I went to college up here, and the place we moved into is nice, bigger than our last place, in much better condition, and things are generally very good here.

Now just don't ask about the MOVERS - if they were being paid by me, instead of my company, they would have had a lawsuit on their hands!

guihong

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2012, 02:39:38 PM »
DH and I moved from gargantuan Columbus, Ohio with the University and a huge international population to southern Arkansas, which was like time had stood still.  We lived there for six years, and the people were friendly and I liked the slower pace, but missed the hurly-burly in the city and I was isolated out there with two babies.  I remember the first time I went to a grocery store, I was in the line paying when a man started wheeling my cart away!  I ran shouting after him, only to find that he was an employee and they pack your groceries in the car for you.  I'd never had that.  Everything was a change: food, the accent, strangers waving or starting a conversation. 

After six years there, we moved up to Little Rock because of my son's health problems.  This was in the same state, but there is a branch of the mothership university, cultural activities, and a growing international community.  It's taken six years, but it's starting to feel like home.  Of course, that's just in time for DH to find out he may be transferred to Houston or Jackson, MS in the near future  ::).



Sirius

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2012, 02:53:29 PM »
Mr. Sirius and I moved from a small town in California to the Portland area of Oregon.  For one thing, we were tired of 100+ weather - in 2003, the year before we moved, it was 95+ from the middle of May to October 27, then dropped down into the 70s and then rained on Halloween.  It was a bit of a culture shock, since we went from a town of fewer than 9000 people to a huge metropolitan area, but we don't regret it for a minute.

MiseryLovesYou

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2012, 03:14:18 PM »
What prompted me to move was a work transfer, and yes, there was significant culture shock.  I came from Wisconsin and moved to Florida, and the work attitudes in both locations could not be more different.  East coast to the West coast I'm not sure you would see the same degree of difference, but you are wise to wonder about culture shock.  After 5 years in Florida I am back in Wisconsin and LOVING IT, even though I'm now looking at a relocation to Texas.

MamaMootz

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Re: moving stories
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2012, 03:19:54 PM »
We have moved a LOT over the past 6 years.

Move #1: NJ to Colorado for DH's job. The move was stressful, as we did it on our own and we packed and unpacked everything ourselves. Culture shock was the food, going from north to "south" and how different the people in CO were from the people in NJ. However, I loved the scenery and the homes there, and I would go back in a heartbeat. I wouldn't go to southern CO because of the scorpions, though. That was the only fly in the ointment in Colorado.

Move #2: Transfer from CO to NV for DH's job 2 years later. More culture shock and food shock. I also didn't care for the plethora of casinos everywhere and didn't want to raise DD there. Everyone was very laid back, and there were a lot of freedoms, but too many casinos. And everything is BROWN. No trees.

Move #3: from NV to CA when they downsized DH from his job in NV. This was one of the hardest moves - in a new area, alien to all of us, big culture shock and the traffic! Holy cats!

Move #4 (current) from CA back to NJ where I plan to stay. However, DH misses California. I do NOT miss California as I hated it from the minute we moved there. I don't mean to insult CA natives by hating it, but I just could not assimilate to it and prefer it here in the east.

Hardest thing for us has been the fact that family is all here on the east coast. We didn't see much of anyone for the 6 years we'd been gone, because to do so would have required us to use what little vacation time we had visiting family rather than taking a vacation someplace different that we'd never seen before. And spend lots of money traveling back and forth, which we didn't have. So that might be a consideration for you.

I'm also still in the process of rediscovering all the food I loved and missed. There are big differences between the states on this.

Also - traffic and people in general. Very very different in the west (some states had less laws, less regulations - which could be good or bad depending) and car insurance/taxes/housing costs vary between all the states.

Good luck in whatever you decide....
« Last Edit: November 14, 2012, 03:24:24 PM by MamaMootz »
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