Author Topic: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?  (Read 9423 times)

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Twik

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Re: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?
« Reply #60 on: November 05, 2012, 01:20:18 PM »
Well, if we look at it historically, "Mrs" did not originate as a way of saying "married to Mr. soandso". It was, at one time, merely the way you would address someone as an adult female or householder (mistress of the house).

So, for the correct usage of "Mrs" in this time period, I'd say it's whatever one wants.
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Kiwichick

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Re: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?
« Reply #61 on: November 06, 2012, 07:12:52 PM »


I've been Mrs Mymaidenname for the 15+ years I've been married.  Why on earth can't I be a Mrs if I haven't taken his name?

The way it was explained to me is that 'Mrs. Smith' means married to Mr. Smith.  If you continue to use your maiden name of Jones, as you are not married to Mr. Jones, you cannot be Mrs. Jones, only Ms. or Miss.

That is what I was thinking.  If I kept my last name I would personally find it hard to call myself Mrs. Maidenname because I am not married to Mr. Maidenname.  I'm married to Mr. Hislastname.  But if someone called me Mrs. Hislastname socially I would agree that I am also Mrs. Hislastname. 

But really you can do what ever you want to do it seems.  Most people don't care.

My question was rhetorical and in response to a poster that said a woman who didn't take her husband's name couldn't be  a Miss or Mrs.

Mad Goat Woman

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Re: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?
« Reply #62 on: November 12, 2012, 01:24:20 AM »
I personally prefer Ms on all my government and other paperwork, because to me, it's nobody's business but my own what my marital status is-- it's a better option than Miss, even though I technically am unmarried, and have no partner. I feel that Miss is too juvenile for my tastes, and Ms Goat sounds better than Miss Goat.






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Lauren

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Re: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?
« Reply #63 on: November 14, 2012, 10:46:45 AM »
Quote
I work with the public, and what I do involves sending out confirmations, which require a title.  For women, unless specifically told otherwise, I use Ms, which is probably 99% of the time.  I can't imagine anything ruder than deliberately overriding somebody's preference, though I do have to bite my tongue pretty hard at "Mrs. John Smith" and variants upon -- way too old fashioned for me and I always want to say, "You have a name too!"  Of course I wouldn't with a guest.

That's how I treat it too. Whenever I send letters I check if I have their honorific and send what I have on file. If it's someone who is not a normal contact it's Ms.

I'm personally an aboustle Ms fanatic. Men do not have to announce their marriage status by their honorific why should I? I understand using Miss for girls and even teenagers (I went by Miss till about age 16) I know my brother went by Master but I do think that has fallen by the wayside (and I'm under 30 so not THAT long ago) When I get married I'll be changing my name (my fiancee and I were discussing about changing both our names, but it's something that horrifies his parents and doesn't really bother me, so looks like I'm changing to his) but staying as a Ms.

I would still go by a person's wishes though.

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Re: "Ms" the [b]only[/b] acceptable title for women?
« Reply #64 on: November 14, 2012, 11:06:32 AM »


I've been Mrs Mymaidenname for the 15+ years I've been married.  Why on earth can't I be a Mrs if I haven't taken his name?

The way it was explained to me is that 'Mrs. Smith' means married to Mr. Smith.  If you continue to use your maiden name of Jones, as you are not married to Mr. Jones, you cannot be Mrs. Jones, only Ms. or Miss.

Personally, I don't care - it should be up to the individual woman.  The two women I know best who haven't changed their names professionally, both use their husband's name in their personal life.  One uses Ms. Maidenname at work and the other is a medical doctor and therefore the issue doesn't apply, as she is addressed as Dr. Maidenname.

It was explained to you wrong.  ;D

Mrs is the female head of household. 

Now the thing is, in past times women alone could not be a head of household, she would have to marry to become so.  (For example even as recently as the 1930's when my grandmother graduated college and moved to NY to become a nurse she could not live in her own apartment.  The hospital required unmarried staff to live with their parents to in dormitories.  Being her own head of household in a small apartment was not allowed even though she had a degree and financially supported herself!  And that was an enlightened time when women could get educations and jobs and even vote - but they couldn't be heads of household.) So therefore in that political/legal sense one could only be "Mrs" if one was married.  But that was a technicality, a default, not the end all.  The end all of Mrs is "mistress" as in the mistress (head of) the household.  Technically, grammatically, any woman who supports herself is a Mrs - so once you move out of your parents home and start paying your own bills you are a "Mrs" marriage not withstanding.

Common usage =/= only proper usage.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2012, 11:12:33 AM by WillyNilly »