Appropriate time to call? Update Post 16, 21

[Mikayla]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find his refusal to tell you his name really bizarre?

When I read the OP, it did send up a few red flags in my brain. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it really depends on the situation and how he was playing it. I'm not sure I would withhold my name as it seems risky, but the OP doesn't seem worried, so he must know his own game.   

I agree that it's all in the context.  We don't know that he "refused" to give his name, since that hasn't been stated.  Yes, it would be weird if OP asked for it and he didn't give it.  But it could be one of those things where she got home and realized she'd never asked and he'd never thought to mention it. 

Also, I agree with "old fashioned" SleepyKitty   I don't think texting is a good way to communicate once you've actually met the person.  There's just too much nuance, etc. that gets missed and it impedes real communication.  So I agree there's no problem with OP being the first to communicate, but it should be a phone call.

And of course updates are requested!

[Angel B.]

OP Here!

I texted him on Wednesday and he did text me back! We are meeting tonight.

The red flag over his not telling me his name, I think it was a "you had to be there" moment. He didn't refuse, more playfully said "you have to go out again with me to learn it". So it didn't really send up a red flag for me.

When I texted him he did say "Hey! Yeah...I still got something I wanna do." which DID put up a red flag. My friend told me based on what I'd said about him that he's likely a player. So we'll see what happens tonight...

Thanks for all the responses! I'm so clueless about dating etiquette, I haven't really dated for about a year and a half now, and I was semi-engaged in university so I missed out on the experience of learning...

[JenJay]

What does "I still got something I wanna do" mean? I haven't dated since '90 so my player-spotting skills probably aren't that great. lol

[Anniissa]

What does "I still got something I wanna do" mean? I haven't dated since '90 so my player-spotting skills probably aren't that great. lol

Well to be fair it is unclear what he meant but I think the inference could be that he is making a cheeky suggestion as in the thing he still wants to "do" is Angel B...

Angel - see how it goes tonight. He could be a player he might not be. That's the problem with text communication - sometimes it's easy to read things differently to how they're meant. Misinterpretation is so easy. Hopefully, he isn't a player but at least you're aware of the possibility. Hope the date goes well.

[Really?]

yes he could be a player or trying to flirt back via text. "I have something I still want to do....." could simply mean telling you his name.

As for the "learning the rules of dating"....well one thing I learned is that no matter what we think they are, just being yourself is probably the best thing you can do. Let us know how it goes.

[JenJay]

Oh, okay. I didn't know if it meant "I have an errand I need to finish so I'm not sure if I'll be able to meet up with you soon." or "I have a neat surprise planned for you so I'm glad you want to see me again."

Angel B, how did it go?

[Angel B.]

OP here!

Anyway so the date was nonexistent. He cancelled at the last minute. I got a text saying he had hurt his ankle...I talked to him about it for a bit then told him to text me if he wanted to get together when he felt better. he said he would and that he'd be awful company that night anyway.

Haven't heard from him since...but I left it in his hands anyway. I'm not terribly hopeful since he didn't know what was wrong with it(or even if he was telling the truth!). I'm pretty bummed..I was really hoping he would turn out to be a genuinely nice guy.

[Raintree]

Well I guess time will tell. Maybe he did hurt his ankle, or maybe it was an excuse. Too bad the date didn't happen though!

[rashea]

I think it's best to walk away from this one. And if he does come back, it's time for him to put in some serious effort to show he's really interested. Right now, it seems you might be a backburner girl for him, and that's not what you need.

Sorry Angel.