BG: The downstairs neighbor, "Duane", used to live with"Becky" and her two daughters, "Abby" and "Alexis". Alexis became good friends with my DD. They brought all kinds of drama and finally broke up in a screaming fight last spring. Then, "Duane" lived with another woman and her older children (the "taking out the garbage" thread I wrote about here). Then they left, and guess who's back?! That's right!
Alexis and DD resumed their friendship, which never really ended due to Becky being back here periodically to "do her laundry". Yesterday, I took Alexis and DD to the mall for some necessities of DD's. As we were entering the parking lot, Alexis came out with a horribly racist remark about how an entire nationality should be sent back to their home country, and how this could have happened if the recent election had gone differently. I yanked the car into a space, slammed on the brakes, and told Alexis that that kind of talk was unacceptable. She didn't apologize, and we had a quick, strained trip to the mall.
Talking to the parents doesn't seem to be an option. I've heard similar out of their mouths, and out of Duane's daughter "Miranda".
I have told DD that she can be polite to Alexis and the whole family, but I want the friendship scaled back-no sleepovers, no taking Alexis anywhere after that. I know the drama isn't the little girl's fault entirely, but where this family goes, a vicious fight is sure to follow sooner or later. I'm sure to be pulled into their dysfunction sooner or later, or ending up as a kind of parent to the kids myself. No thanks.
Ironically, several people of the nationality Alexis insulted happen to work for Duane in the complex. If there's ever an ugly incident, well, I guess in a way he brought it on himself.
Is this the best I can do?