Author Topic: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?  (Read 5129 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11766
  • xi
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2012, 09:38:31 AM »
Could you ask her, in general way, which way to go? 

I know I was very concerned that we wouldn't be to provide all the baby essentials.  So, I asked for baby stuff for Christmas.  No one believed me except my Aunt.  So, for my birthday I had to be really clear.

O'Dell

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4372
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2012, 10:09:23 AM »
I forgot to mention that there will be no baby shower  :-[  Kind of important to include ( ::) at self).

O-Dell, we are on speaking terms and attending family counseling once or twice a month.  We still don't fully get along.  (I giggle every time I use Mental now instead of Dark; I went from sinister to crazy  >:D)

Oh I'm glad to hear that. I think that will help the 2 of you a lot.

As for a baby shower or lack of...you can always give gifts for the baby later on when it's convenient. It doesn't have to be at a gift giving event.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman

bah12

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5203
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2012, 12:28:37 PM »
I have given gifts to unborn babies in the past, but I don't think it's necessary.

You either get your sister and BIL a couple gift or gift them individually.  I agree that giving your sister a gift for the baby and BIL one for himself is definitely not the right option.

Since there will be no baby shower, I think getting something for the baby, or something that mom and dad can use for the baby separately, would be a nice gesture.  But again, not required....especially if this "something extra" isn't in your budget.

rose red

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7658
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #18 on: November 15, 2012, 02:36:45 PM »
I agree with everybody who says "anything but C."

CakeBeret

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4258
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #19 on: November 15, 2012, 03:09:12 PM »
You don't have to get a gift for the baby, but it would be nice, particularly since they are not having a shower.

For the expecting parents, I would get them something fun that they can enjoy together.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30648
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #20 on: November 15, 2012, 03:53:33 PM »
I forgot to mention that there will be no baby shower  :-[  Kind of important to include ( ::) at self).

This doesn't make any difference to my reply. I would give a lifestage present at some time related to the life stage. Like, at lunch or something.

But not at Christmas.

The nice thing w/ baby presents is that you can give them any time you'd like.

As for getting a gift for the baby itself, I personally wouldn't do it, but I can see how if someone thinks of the child-to-be as "part of the family" already, it would be fun and bonding. (Personally, I wouldn't love it, as the mom to be, but that's very specifically *me* and not necessarily applicable to anybody else.)

Emmy

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3799
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #21 on: November 18, 2012, 10:10:03 AM »
I also have to say anything but C.  It's easy for people to get carried away with only talking about the baby to a pregnant women or new mom, forgetting that she is still a person outside of being a mom (or mom to be).  It would be pretty hurtful to have that reaffirmed at Christmas to get only baby gear while the husband got things geared towards his interests as a person.

When I was pregnant, my DH got a small gift for the baby and the rest for each other.  Family got me maternity clothes (it was early on and I wasn't showing) which was appreciated and other stuff for me, but not baby stuff.  I really don't think it necessary to get the baby anything now.  As others said, there will be plenty of opportunities to give to the baby at the shower or after it is born.

AngelBarchild

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 290
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #22 on: November 18, 2012, 10:18:03 AM »
I had my daughter in February so I was pretty pregnant that Christmas. Every single gift I got was for the baby. I have a big family and they were very generous, but I still felt terrible. It was like I wasn't a person anymore, just a baby carrier. I know it sounds bad to be complaining that no on bought me anything, but it really was horrible. I hope that doesn't come across sounding selfish.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8126
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #23 on: November 18, 2012, 10:56:21 AM »
I would do either personal gifts for MS & BIL or a couple gift but it would definitely be very very "adult" and "no kids yet" centered.  A gift cert to a fancy restaurant comes to mind.  Because this is it.  This is their last Christmas ever for the rest of their lives where they are childless.  Forever.  No matter what happens this is the last time before the kid came. So I'd really try to focus on that - they have the rest of their lives to have Christmas' that focus on their kids, or someday grandkids. (Not that there's anything wrong with their future, just saying their present and past were worthwhile too, and why not help them relish those last moments?) Not to mention isn't this their first married Christmas?

I really love this post.  Needless to say, I totally agree with it.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8126
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #24 on: November 18, 2012, 11:00:12 AM »
I had my daughter in February so I was pretty pregnant that Christmas. Every single gift I got was for the baby. I have a big family and they were very generous, but I still felt terrible. It was like I wasn't a person anymore, just a baby carrier. I know it sounds bad to be complaining that no on bought me anything, but it really was horrible. I hope that doesn't come across sounding selfish.

No it doesn't sound selfish at all.  My first child was also born in February.  I know the feeling.

While it's nice to know that everyone is so enthusiastic and excited about the new family addition, I was still a real live individual person, not just a future mother.

bonyk

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 804
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #25 on: November 18, 2012, 03:24:50 PM »
I'm going to disagree with the majority.  I was also very pregnant at Christmastime, and got mostly baby related gifts.  It really didn't bother me at all.  I felt like people were trying to give me something useful. 

I don't think it would hurt to casually ask her if she wants baby things for Christmas. 

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9828
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #26 on: November 19, 2012, 09:22:20 AM »
I had my daughter in February so I was pretty pregnant that Christmas. Every single gift I got was for the baby. I have a big family and they were very generous, but I still felt terrible. It was like I wasn't a person anymore, just a baby carrier. I know it sounds bad to be complaining that no on bought me anything, but it really was horrible. I hope that doesn't come across sounding selfish.

It makes perfect sense. You are a person in your own right, not a storage unit.

I think it's fine to ask if she'd like baby stuff, but if she doesn't, then give her something for her.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11766
  • xi
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #27 on: November 19, 2012, 09:56:37 AM »
That is why I think it is a good idea to ask.  She could be like me and in a bit of a panic about all the STUFF that had to selected and purchased.  So, I definitely considered all baby gifts to be gifts for me. 

White Lotus

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 491
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #28 on: November 19, 2012, 06:59:23 PM »
Uhh, I am at odds with giving things to babies before they are born.  It doesn't happen often, but bad things sometimes happen, and I don't think I could face having to put those gifts away.  I am very much at odds with giving the MOTHER baby things as a gift TO HER. 

Give them a couple gift, like a dinner-out gift certificate, and give the baby presents after it is born. 

flowersintheattic

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 641
Re: Christmas gifts for pregnant people?
« Reply #29 on: November 19, 2012, 07:55:33 PM »
I have a friend who was pregnant on Christmas last year (and she and another friend are going to be pregnant over Christmas this year). We don't really do gifts between friends other than maybe baked goods, but I did get her and her husband a small ornament last year to commemorate the pregnancy. I intend to do the same for both pregnancies this year.

If it had been someone I normally get a gift for, I probably would have gotten her the same sort of present I would have otherwise, with the addition of the ornament to commemorate the pregnancy.

(The ornament I got was a little goofy one off of etsy of a smiling embryo...so I'm taking personality into account with that. It was basically something I stumbled across that I thought my friend would like.)
...I learned my lesson / And yes, I still remember the last one / But this time will be different / Until I do it again... ~Phish, "Kill Devil Falls"