Who can I invite to the baby shower

[Sterling]

So I am expecting my first child.  My niece has decided to host a baby shower.  While I know some people think it is not proper for a family member to host a shower most of my friends actually think it is a sibling's place to do so.  I am 32 and this niece is 19 so a shower sin't really going to "help" her.  She is so excited about finally being an adult that I don't want to crush her by telling her no.

I had not planned on a shower at all to be honest.  I figured if a friend offered I would let them but I am in a position to supply everything needed for a baby so a shower isn't necessary.  However I am being asked every day if there will be a shower and when will it be so I guess people are excited and I think that is sweet and touching that so many people care.

My question comes in with coworkers.  I had not planned to invite coworkers or my supervisors to the shower.  I love all of them and work really well with them.  We do socialize  bit out side to office as a group.  I wasn't going to invite them because it feels rude to me to ask them them to a party where gifts are usually expected.  I have had a coworker and a supervisor both ask if there will be a shower for me or should they organize one at work.  My office consist of 6 women who I would invite if I was to invite the office.

Opinions?  Since I have been asked should I include them?  Or was my first instinct right and I should not invite or mention in at all.

[heartmug]

You could tell them that your niece is throwing a family shower.  Or since there is only 6 of them, just invite them.  Either way it would seem to work.

[cheyne]

How many people can Niece comfortably host for a baby shower?  If the number is 20 and you have 14 or less non-work friends and relatives, then have Niece invite them to her shower. 

If Niece can't comfortably host them, you can let your co-workers know that you are having a small family shower.  If co-workers decide to host one at work, that is their decision.

Either way, congrats and enjoy your shower(s)!

[Mikayla]

First, on that family rule, I've always thought it applied more to bridal showers than baby showers.  I've been to several baby showers thrown by family.  Like you say, they're not to want to claim the crib aquarium for their own use!

Anyway, I don't think it would be rude for your co-workers to be invited, especially since they've already inquired.  The only aspect you might want to consider is your niece's ability to handle a larger group.  I've always heard that it's ok for the hostess of a shower to provide a maximum for guest number.  But otherwise, I'd say go for it.

ETA:  Aaah... cross posting.  I agree with cheyne.

[Jones]

My coworkers asked if I was registered but did not ask if I was having a shower. Some visited me in the hospital after I gave birth, others brought me a gift when I came back, others gave me nothing but well wishes. How would suggesting a "Meet the Baby" when the child is a month old go over with your work group? I would only worry about inviting a group within a group because they might not feel comfortable chatting with someone they don't know outside the group, and things could feel awkward/cliqueish.

[StoutGirl]

Where I am from, it is considered extremely normal for siblings to host showers, bridal or baby.  Honestly, I look forward to the day when I can host for my sister.  We mostly see it as an excuse to get together and socialize, although gifts are included. 

OP, if you are uncomfortable with it being a "shower" consider changing it to a "social hour" or "tea time."  You may still receive gifts, though there would be more implication that it is not a gift grab.

I would say that only family should be invited to keep it small, especially if this is your niece's first time ever hosting an event.

[WillyNilly]

I think it would be normal and appropriate for your co-workers to be invited to your shower.  But I think they also pretty much gave you the easy out by asking "or should they organize one at work" - a work shower can be a fun mid-day diversion, so if that fits with your office culture, go for that.

I do think with a 19 year old host easing her burden would be a kindness from you, unless she has a big ole trust fund or something.  Perhaps suggest cost savings ideas, guised as just ideas ("oooh you know what would be fun?  A brunch!") so if you can keep the guest list small, that's going to be a help.

[bah12]

I don't think there's anything wrong with inviting your coworkers so long as your Neice is able to host them.  Since you already socialize outside of work with them and since they are asking if someone is organizing one for you, inviting them is completely appropriate.

It doesn't seem gift grabby to invite people to a gift giving event when they obviously want to attend one for you. 

If your Neice is not able to host them, then let them know that the shower is a small, family event and then don't protest if one of them offers to throw you one at work.

Congrats on the baby!

[Sterling]

Ok I feel better about it.  My niece has the ability to host mostly because she will be doing so at my house since she lives with her mom.  I also have asked my best friend if she would mind guiding my niece and my friend contacted her and the two of them will be doing it together and I know my mom will be there to assist.  I usually throw dinners for 14-16 people just at my dining room table so we easily have room for 20 but even with my coworkers I have a list of only about 15 people I plan to invite.

[TootsNYC]

Nieces are actually appropriate family members--they're not THAT closely related.

If an aunt is the perfect bridal-shower hostess, I don't know why a niece wouldn't be even more acceptable.
So yes, coworkers if you're close to them.


It sounds like fun, and the niece sounds really cute! I think it's really nice of her.

[jmarvellous]

It sounds like a good idea to invite your co-workers.

Have a good shower!

[Hmmmmm]

Since you socialize with them outside work, I would invite them if you have the space. 

If there is a woman at work your particulary close too, ask her opinion.  Tell her your having a shower but feel a little wanky inviting co-workers to a gift giving occasion. 

[Twik]

I'd say you can invite to a baby shower anyone who you think would enjoy the experience, and be happy to provide a reasonable gift. Anyone else should be avoided.