Author Topic: I do believe I have been blown off.  (Read 4538 times)

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MOM21SON

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I do believe I have been blown off.
« on: November 15, 2012, 03:19:44 PM »
I hooked up with a old friend on FB.  She lives roughly 2 hours from me.  Over the past year or so we have been talking about hooking up for a visit.  So about 6 months ago I told her I normally take my first vacation for the year in January.  So every few weeks or so she has been asking me if it was approved.  2 weeks ago I texted her and told her we were now allowed to put in for the time off and I would know in about 2 weeks.

So today I checked my schedule and it is in!  Yay!  I texted her the 12 days that I am off and said, "So let me know when you want to get together."  She texted back, "LOL, I don't even know what I am doing this afternoon, and you want me to plan for January?"  Then she posted on my wall about what a great friend I am.

I haven't responded back.  Any thoughts for a response?

Thanks.

DaDancingPsych

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2012, 03:24:13 PM »
I think that the ball is in her court. If she wants to get together, she will let you know. But I wouldn’t let that stop me from making plans during my time off. If she gets back to you and you’ve made plans… too bad.

Maybe she’s blowing you off or maybe she’s one of those types who can’t be bothered to plan anything. (Personally drives me batty!!!)

WillyNilly

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2012, 03:24:39 PM »
My thoughts are she has the info, give her some time.

If someone asked me - even someone with whom I'd repeatedly expressed an interest in seeing - for when I was free in January, I'd need some time to think about it, to check my calendar, to check the work calendar, to check my DH's calendar, etc.  Its 2+ months away and right after the most hectic social time of the year, I think she was wise to be light about it for now. 

You aren't blown off at this point, you are simply deferred.  Now if she ignores you until February and then tries to pick things back up, then you've been blown off.

Kaypeep

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2012, 03:27:15 PM »
I don't think you've been blown off.  I think it's too early for her to commit to a specific plan.
I'd reply back with something light, maybe just a suggestion of a day that works for you out of those days off.  Like "I know it's too early to make an exact plan, but how about we keep Sunday the Xth open for our get together, and we'll firm up plans closer to the date?"

Raintree

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2012, 03:39:33 PM »
Sounds like you two just have differing expectations. She probably wants to plan a few days ahead, when January rolls around, and you want to set something up now.

I kind of understand as I am in the "I can't plan that far ahead" camp.

Or maybe she got sick of waiting. Do you really need to wait for your vacation to go visit? For me, a two hour drive would mean a day trip or perhaps a day and a half (staying overnight). I understand that not everyone has flexible weekends though.

I think the way she stated it was a little on the rude side, though. She could have said, "I can't say for sure what my schedule will look like in January. Can you call me a few days before and we'll set something up?" (On the other hand, consideration also needs to be extended to you, as you may want to schedule other things during that time as well).

Jones

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2012, 03:43:38 PM »
My first thought was that, once she had the correct dates in hand, she's doing a little research to see what events might be occurring that time period (plays, movies, festivals, restaurant openings, museum specials) but since she didn't have everything for the month in front of her she needs a day or three to put a possible plan together. That or she thought you had something specific on a couple of those days and is surprised you're asking her preference.

I don't think you're blown off yet. Give her a couple weeks.

TootsNYC

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2012, 03:49:07 PM »
That sounds a little like repartee to me.

And sometimes people just need to be coached or role-model-ed through this sort of stuff, because it *can* seem sort of formal to plan a get-together that far in advance.

So give her a day or two, and then get ahold of her and say, "I'm firming up my vacation, and I'd really like to come and see you on this day. Can you write it on your calendar and plan around it? I want to get it written down on my end, because stuff is coming up and trying to take over the whole weekend. It's important to me to see you, so I'm willing to shift all the other stuff to another day. What about that day? We can decide exact time and activities later."

YummyMummy66

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2012, 04:17:20 PM »
I would reply back that you thought she she has been asking on and off for a few weeks now, that she had wanted to get together when you could have vacation.  Did you misunderstand her intentions?  If she cannot think about January right now, that is fine, but to please let you know now, as you have time to make other arrangements for your vacation.  Or if you do not hear anything definite by such and such a date, you will make other arrangements for your January vacation.

MrsJWine

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2012, 05:23:11 PM »
I wouldn't assume she's blowing you off. She probably just wanted to be sure that you had days off within that month so that you could make plans within that general time frame.


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Bethalize

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2012, 05:24:20 PM »
I'd write back and say: "If you'd like to make an arrangement with me it will go in my diary and that time is sacrosanct. If you don't want to commit to a specific date that's fine, you can see if I am still free closer to the time. Let me know."

MOM21SON

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2012, 05:41:14 PM »
I get what most of you are saying.  It just seems so odd to question me several times and send that response.

I am not mad or anything just puzzled.  I will make any plans that come forth weather it involves her or not.

hobish

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2012, 05:45:01 PM »
Can't be bothered? To make plans for January?
It isn't even Thanksgiving yet. Give the lady a chance.

ETA: I can understand asking and then still needing some time once the dates are confirmed. It's over a month away - to some that makes it harder to plan and may be why she was asking. No reason to think the worst.

« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 05:47:32 PM by hobish »
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MOM21SON

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2012, 05:46:18 PM »
Can't be bothered? To make plans for January?
It isn't even Thanksgiving yet. Give the lady a chance.

No need to snark at me.  If you don't find it odd, thats your choice.

hobish

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2012, 05:49:37 PM »

Take it as snark if you like, it wasn't meant that way. Honestly, i felt bad your friend made you feel blown off. That's no fun. 


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MOM21SON

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Re: I do believe I have been blown off.
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2012, 05:51:38 PM »

Take it as snark if you like, it wasn't meant that way. Honestly, i felt bad your friend made you feel blown off. That's no fun.

Thank you.  I apologize that I took it wrong.