Author Topic: Birthday Part Invite ~ Update #8  (Read 2759 times)

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DoubleTrouble

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Birthday Part Invite ~ Update #8
« on: November 16, 2012, 04:58:05 PM »
I've hit my first quandary with school birthday party invites. A little background: I have twin 4 yr old boys who currently attend preschool but are in different classes.

DS2 came home today with a birthday party invitation from one of his classmates. This invitation does not include DS1 as I'm sure none of the other parents know DS2 is a twin & that is totally OK with me. The problem is my DH will be in finals study mode for his last semester of law school (ugh) plus he has a paper due the day after the classmate's birthday party. Which means he most likely cannot stay home with DS1 while I take DS2 to the party (I'm guessing parents usually stay at parties for 4 yrs old right? This is a first for us so I don't know ;D).

For further reference, DH will also be missing a family birthday party the day before the classmate's birthday party due to studying/writing which is actually be what I would want him to stay home for instead of a classmate's party but it's the second to last time it'll happen so we'll deal. I'm not sure I can get a family member to babysit DS1 due to the family party the day before & people needing time to get stuff done on the weekend (but I'm going to ask around just in case) & we don't have a babysitter in the wings as we haven't really needed one for a few years.

Due to the above is it OK for me to (1) email the birthday boy mom & ask if this is a drop off party & if it's not (2) ask if DS1 can attend if I don't have someone to watch him? I would totally bring a gift from each of them for the birthday boy if DS1 was allowed to attend but if DS1 could not come, I had to stay & I didn't have someone to watch DS1 then DS2 most likely could not go. Which is a bummer but that's life.

Life will be so much easier when this law school & bar exam madness is over. Sigh.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2012, 12:34:52 PM by DoubleTrouble »

WillyNilly

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2012, 05:02:26 PM »
I would think 1 is totally fine "hi, sorry to be a bother but this is DS1's first school birthday invite and I just wanted to clarify - is this a drop off party or should I plan to stay?  Either is fine I just need to know if I should plan for a babysitter for his twin.  Thanks!"  But don't fish for an invite for DS2. 

Of course with this wording, she might say "oh gosh a twin!  Bring them both!" along with the answer to drop off or stay - just don't count on it.

sweetonsno

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2012, 05:05:53 PM »
I think it's perfectly fine to get clarification about the party (whether it is drop-off or not). I don't think it is okay to request an invitation for your other son.

If you would have to stay with DS2, your choices are to decline the invitation or find childcare for DS1. Have you tried asking the other parents at preschool (or maybe the preschool teachers)? I bet someone has a good recommendation.

Shoo

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2012, 05:07:59 PM »
I think mentioning your son has a twin would be a tad manipulative.  It's fine to ask about dropping off, but I don't think you should mention the other child. 

DoubleTrouble

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2012, 05:16:52 PM »
I think it's perfectly fine to get clarification about the party (whether it is drop-off or not). I don't think it is okay to request an invitation for your other son.

If you would have to stay with DS2, your choices are to decline the invitation or find childcare for DS1. Have you tried asking the other parents at preschool (or maybe the preschool teachers)? I bet someone has a good recommendation.

Oh that's a good idea, I didn't even think of that one.

I agree I don't want to mention DS1 & sound like I'm fishing for an invite especially since I think it's a good idea they develop friendships outside of each other. Plus being able to take DS2 to something by himself that's fun (or vice versa) is such a novelty for me, that I'd really like to take advantage of it. I've got an email out to a family member, we'll see how that pans out; looks like the RSVP isn't until 11/30 so I've got some time but with the holiday coming up it might be difficult to get a hold of people.

Zilla

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2012, 06:29:36 PM »
Are there any moms that you are friendly with that is attending the party?  You can ask her to keep an eye on your son while you are out with your other son.
 
But I do agree with the others, I wouldn't ask for an invite or hint around for it.  Hope you can find someone to stay with your son.

sparksals

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2012, 08:44:46 PM »
I think mentioning your son has a twin would be a tad manipulative.  It's fine to ask about dropping off, but I don't think you should mention the other child.

Pod.

Deetee

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 04:35:17 PM »
I'm going to disagree slightly and say that it's dine to mention the twin if you make clear that you have other plans for him. Personally if I have a party, I always specifically invite siblings and I want to have that info. If I am inviting the parents or parent and a kid, I always invite the other kids as well (or I say they are welcome so they can come if they want-slightly different than an invite). I know it isn't a rule, but it feels close to splitting a social unit to invite parents and only some of their kids.

When parties become drop-off parties, I will stop inviting siblings.

DoubleTrouble

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Re: Birthday Part Invite
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2012, 12:34:23 PM »
Well, I emailed the mom & got a response back. They are fine with DS2 being dropped off without a parent staying & since there will be a lot of his classmates there I'm not worried about him. DS2 is a fairly outgoing kiddo ;D If DH can stay home then I'll stay at the party, if not, DS1 & I will have some alone time together which will be nice.

Now to figure out what to get the birthday boy!