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Birthday Part Invite ~ Update #8

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DoubleTrouble:
I've hit my first quandary with school birthday party invites. A little background: I have twin 4 yr old boys who currently attend preschool but are in different classes.

DS2 came home today with a birthday party invitation from one of his classmates. This invitation does not include DS1 as I'm sure none of the other parents know DS2 is a twin & that is totally OK with me. The problem is my DH will be in finals study mode for his last semester of law school (ugh) plus he has a paper due the day after the classmate's birthday party. Which means he most likely cannot stay home with DS1 while I take DS2 to the party (I'm guessing parents usually stay at parties for 4 yrs old right? This is a first for us so I don't know ;D).

For further reference, DH will also be missing a family birthday party the day before the classmate's birthday party due to studying/writing which is actually be what I would want him to stay home for instead of a classmate's party but it's the second to last time it'll happen so we'll deal. I'm not sure I can get a family member to babysit DS1 due to the family party the day before & people needing time to get stuff done on the weekend (but I'm going to ask around just in case) & we don't have a babysitter in the wings as we haven't really needed one for a few years.

Due to the above is it OK for me to (1) email the birthday boy mom & ask if this is a drop off party & if it's not (2) ask if DS1 can attend if I don't have someone to watch him? I would totally bring a gift from each of them for the birthday boy if DS1 was allowed to attend but if DS1 could not come, I had to stay & I didn't have someone to watch DS1 then DS2 most likely could not go. Which is a bummer but that's life.

Life will be so much easier when this law school & bar exam madness is over. Sigh.

WillyNilly:
I would think 1 is totally fine "hi, sorry to be a bother but this is DS1's first school birthday invite and I just wanted to clarify - is this a drop off party or should I plan to stay?  Either is fine I just need to know if I should plan for a babysitter for his twin.  Thanks!"  But don't fish for an invite for DS2. 

Of course with this wording, she might say "oh gosh a twin!  Bring them both!" along with the answer to drop off or stay - just don't count on it.

sweetonsno:
I think it's perfectly fine to get clarification about the party (whether it is drop-off or not). I don't think it is okay to request an invitation for your other son.

If you would have to stay with DS2, your choices are to decline the invitation or find childcare for DS1. Have you tried asking the other parents at preschool (or maybe the preschool teachers)? I bet someone has a good recommendation.

Shoo:
I think mentioning your son has a twin would be a tad manipulative.  It's fine to ask about dropping off, but I don't think you should mention the other child. 

DoubleTrouble:

--- Quote from: sweetonsno on November 16, 2012, 05:05:53 PM ---I think it's perfectly fine to get clarification about the party (whether it is drop-off or not). I don't think it is okay to request an invitation for your other son.

If you would have to stay with DS2, your choices are to decline the invitation or find childcare for DS1. Have you tried asking the other parents at preschool (or maybe the preschool teachers)? I bet someone has a good recommendation.

--- End quote ---

Oh that's a good idea, I didn't even think of that one.

I agree I don't want to mention DS1 & sound like I'm fishing for an invite especially since I think it's a good idea they develop friendships outside of each other. Plus being able to take DS2 to something by himself that's fun (or vice versa) is such a novelty for me, that I'd really like to take advantage of it. I've got an email out to a family member, we'll see how that pans out; looks like the RSVP isn't until 11/30 so I've got some time but with the holiday coming up it might be difficult to get a hold of people.

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