Mods, if this is in the wrong section or worded too strongly, my apologies, I wrote and posted this in a hurry as time is of the essence here.
Hoo boy, today was our costume club meeting. Our president, whom Iíve talked about herehttp://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=120638.0
Is in charge of setting up our Secret Santa. Iím thinking of suggesting he delegate the task, as James is not well versed in what is and is not appropriate gift giving etiquette among friends. To start off, he set the spending limit too high. 50 dollars! Sure, he was trying to play it safe, but thatís way too much! Second, while James is a very giving soul, Iím beginning to suspect he only asks for things he canít afford by himself, because his card had a very expensive DVD set on it, only seven dollars under the limit (He offered to contribute, if the person who got it couldnít afford it, so thatísÖodd, but still something). His card ended up being traded to someone that offered to get him an Amazon card instead. He accepted gratefully.
The next faux pas came when James suggested we get a gift on speculation for the member that couldnít make it to the meeting. (Wouldnít it be easier to just call her and ask what she wants?) He offered up a collectorís doll he was selling for 50 dollars. One person went in on it, then he turned to me and said, ďAre you going in on it too?Ē
I couldnít for several reasons.
1. My contribution would have been 25 dollars and Iím already signed on to be secret Santa for a different club member
2. Iím not completely sure the absent member would like the doll, it could be heís just suggesting it because itís somewhat her thing and he really wants to sell it
3. Since Iím learning Amigurumi, I was thinking of staying in gift budget and making the absent member a stuffed toy that either she or her new one-year-old would enjoy. I already have the materials, so it wouldnít cost me and it would be more usable. I could call her and ask what kind she wanted.
4. Even if I was to contribute to the doll, something Iím still somewhat open to if it turns out thatís what the absent member wants and I can afford it, I didnít have the cash right then, as I needed to run an errand after the meeting.
I told James I thought I would make the absent member something instead, also stating reason number four. I thought heíd gotten it, however later in the meeting, he suggested I stop by his workplace soon so I could contribute and get the doll from him. I restated that I thought I could make her something instead. Finally, as I was leaving, he said I could stop by with my contribution again
and I just repeated what Iíd already told him and got out as fast as I could.
Well. Iíve told him I donít think I can afford it, and Iíve told him I have a back-up plan, but he completely disregarded me. So, I have two quandaries today. Whatís another good way of putting my foot down about the doll, because it looks like itís going to go over my gift budget for Christmas? And, how do I convince him to delegate the task of the Secret Santa? Should I even try or am I overstepping a boundary?