Author Topic: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner  (Read 2285 times)

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jane7166

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S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« on: November 17, 2012, 08:46:58 PM »
My brother is friends with a couple who has, over the years, become friends of the whole extended family.  They always come for T-giving and "Madge" has offered to make a salad.  She usually does provide a salad and it's wonderful.  She and her SO also bring about 5 jars of salad dressing and won't take them back home.

This has become a bit of a problem.  These jars of salad dressing are only gently used and hang around for a long time.  Some of the flavors are not to our taste.  DH parents were Depression Era parents so you.do.not.throw.things. out.   However, the rule is apparently that his griping about the salad dressing  for months and months as we slowly slog through them - that is acceptable behavior. 

So, can anyone think of any  good wording to ask our friend to bring fewer (and more select) jars of salad dressing? 

SPuck

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2012, 08:52:12 PM »
I think the real issue here is your husband's inability to throw stuff away (my dad is the same way and I just don't deal with it any longer), but as for your friends you could take it from an expense/you feel guilty about them leaving the salad dressing behind. Could you suggest your friend just bring the salad and your provide the dressing yourself unless there is something specifically they want?

QueenofAllThings

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2012, 09:02:03 PM »
Give them to a food pantry or shelter. Re-gift to someone who LIKES raspberry-mushroom vinaigrette. Just because they are given to you does not mean YOU have to eat them.

Sharnita

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2012, 09:03:12 PM »
I do tend to agree that it isn't her issue so much  end.  She brought it and left it for you to do as you will.  If there is one or two people like, keep and use them but throw the rest away.

AmethystAnne

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2012, 09:07:26 PM »
OP, whose house ends up with the 5 bottles of dressing? If it's yours, do with them what you want.

doodlemor

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2012, 11:40:02 PM »
I think that your friend might feel badly if you come down too hard on the dressing choices.

This sounds a bit sneaky, but I would just dump a few spoonfuls of dressing down the drain every other day, until they were gone.

kareng57

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2012, 11:56:01 PM »
Give them to a food pantry or shelter. Re-gift to someone who LIKES raspberry-mushroom vinaigrette. Just because they are given to you does not mean YOU have to eat them.


I agree that that sounds very nice and altruistic - but many food pantry or shelters will not accept home-prepared items.  There's always the possibility of them being tainted, unfortunately.

Many places such as church bazaars will accept home-canned items (I used to take my relish there when I'd prepared way too much) but probably will not take non-preserved things, unfortunately.  I can't think of a good solution other than finding someone who really likes this sort of dressing.  If you have no alternative other than to toss it - so be it.

Jelaza

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 12:15:56 AM »
I don't see where the OP says the dressing is home-prepared.  I doubt they would take anything that's been opened, though.  If they are store bought, and the OP is able to keep 2 or 3 of the jars from being opened, they can donate those.

I'm bringing salad to Thanksgiving with 2 different dressings.  I did consider picking up a third, but thought that would be overkill.  Has Madge says why she brings so many?  Can you hint that fewer bottles are okay, based on the number attending and previous years' consumption?

Otherwise, at the end of the meal, pack them in a handy (pre-arranged) box and just hand that to her without saying anything?

cicero

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2012, 03:26:35 AM »
My brother is friends with a couple who has, over the years, become friends of the whole extended family.  They always come for T-giving and "Madge" has offered to make a salad.  She usually does provide a salad and it's wonderful.  She and her SO also bring about 5 jars of salad dressing and won't take them back home.

This has become a bit of a problem.  These jars of salad dressing are only gently used and hang around for a long time.  Some of the flavors are not to our taste.  DH parents were Depression Era parents so you.do.not.throw.things. out.  However, the rule is apparently that his griping about the salad dressing  for months and months as we slowly slog through them - that is acceptable behavior. 

So, can anyone think of any  good wording to ask our friend to bring fewer (and more select) jars of salad dressing?
i don't know what you can say to your friend, but re your DH - just throw them out when he isn't there. IF he happens to notice say they went bad or it fell when you opened the fridge or something.  that's what i did with my ex-DH whose parents were war/holocaust survivors. we had 342 tote bags/duffle bags/suitcases, for example, that i threw out a few at a time. if caught, i said "the zipper broke on that one, the wheels came off, the handle snapped..."

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Shopaholic

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2012, 05:13:27 AM »
I agree that the problem is the inability to throw out/ regift the jars.
I'd just bring them to the communal dining room at work.
Grad students will eat anything.

25wishes

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2012, 09:53:13 AM »
Put them in a bag and hand them to her as she is leaving, saying "We don't use much salad dressing during the year, I would hate for them to go to waste."

If she doesn't want to take them, ask her if she can find someone else who can use them. Repeatedly emphasize that they will not be used in your house (in a nice way, of course).

SPuck

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2012, 10:54:44 AM »
"We don't use much salad dressing during the year, I would hate for them to go to waste."

Right don't hint, but blunt but polite at this point. In advance you could say "Friend I appreciate the work you put into the salad you bring every year, but the dressings you bring are going unused after Thanksgiving day. Could you bring them home after then event or perhaps bring less so the dressing do not go to waste?"

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2012, 11:39:37 AM »
 Is she bringing an assortment of bottled dressing to cover everyone's taste or 5 bottles of the same dressing? 

Either way, I'd insist that everyone take a bottle with them when they leave.  "We'll never get through all this dressing before it spoils and it takes a lot of space in the fridge.  Please take it with you."

jane7166

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2012, 11:44:03 AM »
Is she bringing an assortment of bottled dressing to cover everyone's taste or 5 bottles of the same dressing? 

Either way, I'd insist that everyone take a bottle with them when they leave.  "We'll never get through all this dressing before it spoils and it takes a lot of space in the fridge.  Please take it with you."

OP here.  I like this.  I already do enough sneaky things.  :)  You do what you have to. 

VorFemme

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Re: S/O Relative bringing something for T-giving dinner
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2012, 12:00:59 PM »
Tote bags can be filled with a few items to be dropped off at the local charity donation center - and they will sell the tote bag, too.

I sort the ones we have - I keep the ones that *I* like and will use.  I donate the ones that nobody will use.  I have bought a couple of drawstring/backpack bags for use to store things where the original bag or box is gone (air mattress, sleeping bag, and so forth) to keep them cleaner & in one place with any accessories. 

I bought a nylon "gauze" one to use at the gym & beach (the wet swim suit & towel can dry out a bit - and any sand falls through the holes in the "fabric").   VorGuy uses his leatherette "gym bag" for travel luggage, so a smaller backpack/tote is for his gym shorts, shirt, socks, & shoes. 

As to the "lightly used" containers of salad dressing - the only way to make them acceptable for most food banks is to have them still sealed (not used at all) - so setting aside a couple of the bottles that are going to be the least likely to be used would be the only way to handle it.

Or take them to another potluck dinner, if you know someone who eats more salads or is likely to have a couple of salads on the buffet table. 

I've been known to buy the tiniest bottles I can find of dressings that we don't use, so that company can have their favorite - but I don't end up with a bottle of dressing that is going to take three years to use up.

I have a husband who teaches high school - I've been known to take things to the fridge in his conference room/computer lab to be used by the students who are using their lunch period to do homework, computer research, or talk to friends in the area.  The fridge gets cleaned every semester, so even if they haven't eaten the Ranch dressing - it will "go away"!  And leftover desserts.......those rarely last more than one day.......the pan has been known to come home with the brownie crumbs having been cleaned out of it.
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