General Etiquette > Family and Children

Does this pass? Heading off the PIL...

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bonyk:
We're hosting thanksgiving this year.  My in-laws will be attending.  Although we live about 10 minutes away, we see them about 4-5 times a year.  When we do see them, MIL and FIL tend to go overboard disciplining my DD.  She's a remarkably well-behaved toddler, and is not used to having people constantly telling her, "No!," in a stern voice.  Also, she is allowed to do most of what they tell her she cannot do (ie. climbing over the arm of the sofa).  As a result of this, DD really isn't too fond of them, and it's starting to show.

If they start again, I'd like to say in a very cheerful, breezy voice, "Oh, guys, don't worry about disciplining DD.  Just focus on spoiling her!" 

Does that sound pleasant/okay?  If that doesn't work, I guess I'll have to go a bit more forceful, which I don't mind doing,.

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: bonyk on November 18, 2012, 08:12:40 AM ---We're hosting thanksgiving this year.  My in-laws will be attending.  Although we live about 10 minutes away, we see them about 4-5 times a year.  When we do see them, MIL and FIL tend to go overboard disciplining my DD.  She's a remarkably well-behaved toddler, and is not used to having people constantly telling her, "No!," in a stern voice.  Also, she is allowed to do most of what they tell her she cannot do (ie. climbing over the arm of the sofa).  As a result of this, DD really isn't too fond of them, and it's starting to show.

If they start again, I'd like to say in a very cheerful, breezy voice, "Oh, guys, don't worry about disciplining DD.  Just focus on spoiling her!" 

Does that sound pleasant/okay?  If that doesn't work, I guess I'll have to go a bit more forceful, which I don't mind doing,.

--- End quote ---

That sounds good to me.

I understand why you don't see them more than you do if this is how they behave.

QueenofAllThings:
I think that sounds fine. They come from a different generation and may be worried about her hurting herself.  You can also say "Oh, she's fine. She likes to explore and we've put away all the sharp objects!"

That being said, you can say this is YOUR home.  In THEIR home, climbing on furniture may not be allowed.

Sharnita:
I think Queen makes a good point.  IN this case it sounds like you are planniing on them being in your home.  I don't know if you ever visit their home but to some extent things change a bit there.  They can reasonably tell her they don't want her going over the arm of the sofa and various other things. 

mechtilde:
Would it work if you went from the approach of saying that you are concerned that your DD may become confused about what she is/isn't allowed to do? That you understand that they are concerned about her, but that she's getting mixed messages and that's going to make her behaviour worse.   

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