So for some reason, we spoke again. And she asked, "are you going to do it buffet style?" And I said, "I don't think so," and she started to say something about how much room there would be (in the room, to walk around? on the tables?).
I didn't wait to hear, I just said, "Well, I'll figure it out." and got out of the call. Because, well, it was starting to feel pressure-y. Whether that was generated inside me, or outside me, I don't know.
But I do know that, as I said, I've learned something important about me. I don't do "co-hosting" well.
MIL told DH we had to buy the bread; I asked what the bread was for, and he said, "for the cold cuts." I'm thinking, "I didn't ask anyone to bring *cold cuts* to Thanksgiving dinner! Turns out it's for the prosciutto & cheese. I told DH, "you get that. I'm not involved." (and for the record--if you're going to bring a dish, I would like you to bring all of it.
I also asked DH to ask her if she needed a dish or the oven. She said, "I'll just need to microwave it a little bit to warm it up." The thing is, my microwave may not be available--I'm going to be using it as a convection oven, and I'm not sure it'll zap stuff until it has cooled down. So I'm going to send one of the insulted bags w/ DH and tell him to ask her to use that bcs of the microwave. (and that would be a big part of the reason why *I* wanted to make the gnocchi.
(Good point, sourwolf.)