Author Topic: Yet another gifting question  (Read 1399 times)

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Bijou

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Yet another gifting question
« on: November 19, 2012, 04:00:31 PM »
I have always exchanged gifts at Christmas with a family member.  I noticed the past two years she has not reciprocated.  I don't mind, but she never did say she was going to stop the gift exchange and so I just keep giving gifts to her.  She never says anything, but just thanks me.  I am considering not doing a Christmas gift for her this year because, frankly, my list is huge.  I am afraid that she might give something to me out the blue.  Maybe that doesn't matter.
I wonder what you guys would do. 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2012, 04:03:33 PM »
I would not plan on gifting her anything.  But I would have an emergency generic gift ready to go, just in case.  Something that you can use yourself if you don't end up giving it.  Like a gourmet coffee or tea basket or something.  Have a gift tag on it that says, 'From Bijou'.  Then if she does surprise you and have a gift for you, you don't have to feel like a heel, even though you did nothing wrong.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

WillyNilly

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2012, 04:06:32 PM »
I would not plan on gifting her anything.  But I would have an emergency generic gift ready to go, just in case.  Something that you can use yourself if you don't end up giving it.  Like a gourmet coffee or tea basket or something.  Have a gift tag on it that says, 'From Bijou'.  Then if she does surprise you and have a gift for you, you don't have to feel like a heel, even though you did nothing wrong.

This.  I always have a few generics on hand - cute umbrellas, blank journals, note card sets, etc.

Margo

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2012, 04:12:29 PM »
I probably wouldn't get her anythingunless she is someone who is ill, isolated or otherwise  needy.

If you're likely to be meeting up in person then I'd go with the suggestion to have a box of chocolates or something in case

heartmug

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2012, 04:18:02 PM »
I too always keep 1 or 2 generic gifts or gift cards on hand.
The trouble is not that the world is full of fools, it's just that lightening isn't distributed right.  - Mark Twain

bopper

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2012, 04:19:39 PM »
So it is okay for her to receive a gift unreciprocated....so if she out of the blue gets you something, then it is okay for you also to receive a gift unreciprocated.

rose red

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2012, 04:23:30 PM »
I'd either just accept her gift without giving her one (she did it to you for the past two years) or use the PPs suggestion of an inexpensive generic gift like a candle or tree ornament, which can also be saved or keep yourself.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2012, 04:41:51 PM »
So it is okay for her to receive a gift unreciprocated....so if she out of the blue gets you something, then it is okay for you also to receive a gift unreciprocated.

This is exactly what I was thinking. 

If she gives you one out of the blue, then graciously thank her just like she did you for the last two years and put it out of your mind.

Then next year you can decide if you want to buy her a gift.

In my experience, if people don't reciprocate after 2 years, they are trying to hint they no longer want to exchange gifts. 

Bijou

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2012, 05:30:26 PM »
Thanks for the feedback.  I usually have a generic or two on hand, too, but didn't think of doing that in this case.  It would be hard for me to just accept a gift without giving, which is silly, I know, but I know how I am and I would keep thinking about it.  I like the idea of an ornament, too.  I think I'll end up going with the generic, "just in case" gift. 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

kudeebee

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2012, 08:51:31 PM »
I would not worry about having a gift for her.  She accepted your gifts without worrying about having a generic gift for you, so if she gives you a gift, say thank you and don't worry about not having one for her.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2012, 09:00:34 PM »
I would not worry about having a gift for her.  She accepted your gifts without worrying about having a generic gift for you, so if she gives you a gift, say thank you and don't worry about not having one for her.

I would agree except Bijou is too nice a person and would worry/feel guilty, hence the generic gift suggestion, if needed.

(Bijou, I'd be the same way...)
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

Bijou

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2012, 11:08:24 PM »
I would not worry about having a gift for her.  She accepted your gifts without worrying about having a generic gift for you, so if she gives you a gift, say thank you and don't worry about not having one for her.

I would agree except Bijou is too nice a person and would worry/feel guilty, hence the generic gift suggestion, if needed.

(Bijou, I'd be the same way...)
Thank you! 
And I would worry about it.
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Luci

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Re: Yet another gifting question
« Reply #12 on: November 20, 2012, 12:40:37 AM »
If the gifting is in a group, I would give her a candle or stationery or special soap - something small.

If it is a one to one occassion, a hug.