General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Anti-retirement gift

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bonyk:
Something very similar happened to my aunt.  In her case, she did not want any lunches, tokens, or cards from anyone.  She was too hurt/embarrassed/angry.  What did mean a lot to her, however, was a few quiet heartfelt verbal acknowledgements as she was leaving.

BC12:

--- Quote from: Coley on November 19, 2012, 05:22:35 PM ---DH and I are wondering if there is anything the two of us could do to wish her well and honor her longevity and commitment to the organization. Any ideas? Since she does not want a party, should we forgo any acknowledgement of her departure?
--- End quote ---

Definitely acknowledge it. Even if she doesn't want any kind of party, I bet it would really suck for her if nobody noticed her departure.  At the very least, you could try getting all of your coworkers to pitch in for a nice floral arrangement and sign a "We'll miss you" card. Put them on her desk on her last day. I think that would be a nice gesture, and unobtrusive.

And you could just ask her. "I'd love to organize a little get together on your last day. Maybe we can all meet up for Happy Hour at that one place?" If she says no, just do the flowers and card thing.

Coley:

--- Quote from: cicero on November 20, 2012, 04:47:56 AM ---
--- Quote from: Coley on November 19, 2012, 05:22:35 PM ---
DH and I are wondering if there is anything the two of us could do to wish her well and honor her longevity and commitment to the organization. Any ideas? Since she does not want a party, should we forgo any acknowledgement of her departure?

--- End quote ---
does she not want *any* party/acknowledgement or does she not want a *company* party?

some people really truly don't want any parties or acknowledgements. but if she just doesn't want a company party, then I would do as PPs suggested - take her out to lunch, have a little party with her work friends, bring in a cake on her last day and make it more a casual event, and so on.

--- End quote ---

Good question. I honestly don't know the answer to that. We know she doesn't want a company party, but that's all we know. I was thinking about situations in which people would generally celebrate a milestone, but they don't want a big celebration.

She has coworkers and colleagues who are closer to her than DH and I are, so it is possible that they are planning an independent celebration or another type of acknowledgement. DH was her subordinate a number of years ago, and I have done contract work for her. We would like to acknowledge her in some way. I may have DH ask one of her staff whether they have anything planned or if they know more about her wishes in terms of acknowledgement.

Kiara:

--- Quote from: Coley on November 20, 2012, 07:36:42 AM ---
--- Quote from: cicero on November 20, 2012, 04:47:56 AM ---
--- Quote from: Coley on November 19, 2012, 05:22:35 PM ---
DH and I are wondering if there is anything the two of us could do to wish her well and honor her longevity and commitment to the organization. Any ideas? Since she does not want a party, should we forgo any acknowledgement of her departure?

--- End quote ---
does she not want *any* party/acknowledgement or does she not want a *company* party?

some people really truly don't want any parties or acknowledgements. but if she just doesn't want a company party, then I would do as PPs suggested - take her out to lunch, have a little party with her work friends, bring in a cake on her last day and make it more a casual event, and so on.

--- End quote ---

Good question. I honestly don't know the answer to that. We know she doesn't want a company party, but that's all we know. I was thinking about situations in which people would generally celebrate a milestone, but they don't want a big celebration.
--- End quote ---

Speaking on this, because my mom and I just had the conversation....their 50th wedding anniversary is coming up.  Most people throw a party.  My parents would shoot me if I tried.  So instead, I told her that for ONCE, they are letting me take them out to dinner somewhere nice, and I'm paying.  And she thought that was a perfect idea.

So based on that...I think a small dinner would be good.  That gets the caring across without it being a big song & dance.

O'Dell:
Another vote for asking her out for a special luncheon/dinner. If she truly doesn't want any sort of party, then she can clarify at that time.

If you think someone closer might be organizing something, why not sound out one of them? "We heard Millie doesn't want a company party, but it seems a shame to let her retirement go unmarked. Is anything special being planned among the employees?"

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