General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

s/o Hostile Coworker

<< < (2/4) > >>

dawbs:
IF boss will back you up (big if), my boss and I have an answer that works something like this, for me:

"Sorry Jim, Boss has me assigned to work on flying bumblefish requisitions for the time being.  You are welcome to email Boss and ask that I be assigned to rock-paper-scissors competitions but I'm unable to change what I'm working on without Boss's explicit permission"
(this is more or less friendly depending on the situation, with a very few tweaks you can make it much harsher.)

It makes me not the bad guy, it emphasizes that I do NOT report to them (I report to boss) and doesn't devalue what they're doing.

BUT, it only works if your boss will back you up on it.

katycoo:

--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on November 19, 2012, 07:15:56 PM ---
--- Quote from: katycoo on November 19, 2012, 06:49:06 PM ---Maybe you need to give her a smidge more information.

"I'm sorry Lisa, I'm in the middle of something urgent right now which I'm behind on.  I really can't help you until this is finished.  I'll pop by when I have a minute and give you a hand.  If you can't wait you'll need to ask someone else."

--- End quote ---

I would not do this because it give Lisa the idea that the OP can support her, when in fact, the OP's duties have moved even further away from Lisa's.

I would simply tell her no and give her the name of someone who can help her. 

Evil PastryGoddess would inquire if she needed re-training, since she seems to need so much help >:D

--- End quote ---

If it is the case that the OP is not the appropriate person to be helping, and Lisa should call on another person, then yes, that is the appropriate information.  My point was more that rather than just saying "No I can't", if you tell them WHY you can't then the message often gets through more effectively.

PastryGoddess:

--- Quote from: katycoo on November 19, 2012, 10:24:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on November 19, 2012, 07:15:56 PM ---
--- Quote from: katycoo on November 19, 2012, 06:49:06 PM ---Maybe you need to give her a smidge more information.

"I'm sorry Lisa, I'm in the middle of something urgent right now which I'm behind on.  I really can't help you until this is finished.  I'll pop by when I have a minute and give you a hand.  If you can't wait you'll need to ask someone else."

--- End quote ---

I would not do this because it give Lisa the idea that the OP can support her, when in fact, the OP's duties have moved even further away from Lisa's.

I would simply tell her no and give her the name of someone who can help her. 

Evil PastryGoddess would inquire if she needed re-training, since she seems to need so much help >:D

--- End quote ---

If it is the case that the OP is not the appropriate person to be helping, and Lisa should call on another person, then yes, that is the appropriate information.  My point was more that rather than just saying "No I can't", if you tell them WHY you can't then the message often gets through more effectively.

--- End quote ---

I guess I feel like OP does not owe Lisa an explanation as to why she is telling her no.  However, I do agree that finding a way to not be harsh is important as well.

Firecat:
Thanks, everyone! She's asking for help "doing," not help "understanding." I'm happy to answer questions or brainstorm to work out a solution to a difficult or ambiguous situation. But helping her with her workload isn't something I can do just now...and not for the foreseeable future, in all likelihood. Part of it is that I'm working on learning a lot of my new responsibilities; which takes more time than it would if I were fully proficient at the work.

For full disclosure, her resentful attitude isn't exactly inclining me to make time, even if I could (she has actually said in the past that because I'm on salary, and she's hourly, she thinks I should work extra hours to help if she needs it...and that's not going to be happening without a direct request from Supervisor...which I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get).

I've already spoken to our supervisor about it, and he is in agreement with me that I'm prioritizing appropriately. If things continue, I'll bring this up again in our next 1:1 to see if he has additional suggestions or if there's something he'd like me to be doing differently. Maybe I'll also chat with Supervisor to see if it's ok to redirect Lisa to him if she mentions something like this in a meeting again.

I'm not inclined to provide her with explanations, because she'll just take it as something to argue with. And sometimes I feel like Lisa feels like I somehow am responsible to her...I don't want to encourage that, even a little bit. I don't want to be harsher than absolutely necessary, though.

katycoo:

--- Quote from: Firecat on November 19, 2012, 11:02:22 PM ---I'm not inclined to provide her with explanations, because she'll just take it as something to argue with. And sometimes I feel like Lisa feels like I somehow am responsible to her...I don't want to encourage that, even a little bit. I don't want to be harsher than absolutely necessary, though.

--- End quote ---

I'd still do it, and if she tries to argue, cut her off and say "This is what I've been instructed.  if you disagree you need to take it up with superviser.  But until I am directly told by him/her otherwise, I cannot assist you.  Please ask [otherperson] if you need assistance."  And then walk away.  Let her whinge to your boss about it.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version