General Etiquette > Family and Children

I'm not being pushy!

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Bethalize:
My slightly more friendly brush-off comment is: "How could any baby ever be as gorgeous and as wonderful as this one?" That deflects on to the poor child who everyone now has to spend another five minutes agreeing is utterly perfect and beautiful. Follow up with: "Is he always as good as this?" or similar and - danger past!

ETA that's slightly more friendly than my other comments such as: "I like babies, but I couldn't eat a whole one".

Hunter-Gatherer:
Sometimes blunt is called for, especially given what FIL said.  At this point I'd get them all in a room and say something like, "Look.  Every time we see anyone in this family there are multiple comments about how we need to hurry up and have children.  Some of them (FIL's "ashamed" comment in particular) have been truly offensive.  We want to make this perfectly clear.  We will have children when WE decide it's time.  Nothing you say can or will change that, so just stop it.  The only effect all these comments have is to make us angry.  They do not, and will not lead to us having children on your schedule instead of ours.  Further, if and when we do have children, we're not so sure we'd want them around people who so very clearly disrespect our decisions.  If you can't respect our decision about when to become parents, why should we believe that when the time comes you'll respect the decisions we make as parents, and that truly worries us for when we do have children." 

Evil H-G might really want to add, "So back the (expletive deleted) off." at the end, but we generally keep him under wraps.

Bethalize:

--- Quote from: Hunter-Gatherer on November 23, 2012, 09:04:36 AM ---We will have children if and when WE decide it's time. 

--- End quote ---

I suggest adding an "if".  It's much easier to cope with baby pushers who think you're deliberately not having children than baby pushers who are soooo sorry (and smug) that you can't do what they can do so well. Also, if we are arguing that your reproductive plans and choices are no one else's business then it's best not to give away the information yourselves.

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