General Etiquette > Family and Children

comments on my skin

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BIL is dreadfully rude.  He made an apology, and then negated it and put his foot in his mouth.  Your sister made it still worse by defending his nonsense.  Perhaps they deserve each other.

I think that cold politeness is in order here, until you feel more comfortable with this pair.

And haven't I read that blaming the victim's so-called sensitivity is a tool of bullies and abusers.

Yes, when they call us sensitive, it implies we are the problem. Life would be easier for them if we just let them say whatever the want.

I think I will be putting my BIL at a distance.

It was rude. If he had come over to you and QUIETLY said "not sure if you're aware, but your face is very flushed.  Are you ok?" tha t would hav been ok. Blasting it out in front of everyone wa a major "foot in mouth" moment and he should havoc apologized - not defended

I feel your pain - multiple surgeries on my nose to remove skin cancers has lef the top very red and it's very hard to cover for any length of time - I get tons of co dents about my "Roudolf nose" or sunburn or "what's up with your face?". Depending on the tone and situation I either go way medical or chill stre quiet on them

Accusing someone of being "sensitive" is the classic response of a bully when the person he insults takes exception.


--- Quote from: JenJay on November 19, 2012, 06:34:46 PM ---He was rude. So what if his friends love his "brutal honesty", you don't. Hopefully he'll remember that and it won't be an issue again.  :(

I have rosacea which is under control now but when I was first diagnosed and trying different treatments it was really bad. I had bright red cheeks with a lot of little painful bumps on them. My Aunt walked up to me in the middle of a room full of people and said "Oh my gosh, what's wrong with your cheeks? That looks terrible!" I said "I have Rosacea." and she said "I know, I have it too, but I've never looked that bad!" Grrr.

--- End quote ---

I did say that to him " Your friends may like it, but I dont"

Your aunts sounds terrible.


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