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My aunt is a turkey saboteur! UPDATE post 50

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Otterpop:
How do I handle a relative who is a great cook, but tries to ruin my turkey every Thanksgiving?

First time I ever tried to roast a turkey, I asked my aunt's advice and she my told me the wrong cooking time.  It was done 1 hour before everyone arrived.  I figured it was an accident.  The second year I Googled and calculated the right time, but she came into the kitchen and said "That bird is done.  Take it out before it gets dry."  I hesitated, she insisted, so the bird came out.  We started carving and it was raw in the middle.  We microwaved the pink pieces (dangerous and yuck!!!).  Third year she came into the kitchen and I shut down and pretended to be busy and "deaf."  She then proceeded to pout and fuss with her side dishes and didn't talk to me the rest of the evening (turkey came out perfectly cooked BTW).

Her dishes are wonderful, but I'm beginning to think she doesn't want mine to be any good.  I chalk it up to her not wanting to be replaced as the matriarch of cooking in our family (no danger as I don't enjoy cooking - I do it so my family eats better, cheaper).  How do I tactfully tell her to butt out this Thanksgiving?

Lindee:
Well now you know you can properly cook a Turkey, just stand your ground and refuse any unsolicited advice from her than conflicts with your plans. Smile while you refuse to overcook or undercook the bird but trust your own instincts. Once could be a genuine mistake on her part but 3 attempts to undermine your confidence in the meal? Not a mistake.

Luci45:

--- Quote from: Otterpop on November 20, 2012, 12:37:50 AM ---How do I handle a relative who is a great cook, but tries to ruin my turkey every Thanksgiving?

Third year she came into the kitchen and I shut down and pretended to be busy and "deaf."  She then proceeded to pout and fuss with her side dishes and didn't talk to me the rest of the evening (turkey came out perfectly cooked BTW).



--- End quote ---

So how did the rest of the family react? The first bolded sounds great: ignore!. The second bolded is her problem.

Just thank her for her side dishes, and polish your spine, do things your way and properly, and enjoy the accolades.

Kaypeep:
I'd be matter of fact with her and point out as nicely as possible "No offense, auntie, but you're turkey tips have failed me twice now.  First when you gave me instructions and it was too dry, then the year before last when you insisted it was done but turned out raw inside.  I've practiced cooking turkey since then, I know my oven very well,  and I have it down pat now.  So I'm all set and won't be taking any turkey lessons from ANYONE except Alton Brown."

Otterpop:
Most of my family stays out of the kitchen except my husband.  He tried to defend a longer cooking time the second year, but acquiesced as she is the consummate cook.  Then he fumed and said under his breath "I told you so" when the turkey came out raw.

This year he said "Keep her out of the kitchen."  I was curious if anyone else had this experience and what was appropriate and effective to say?  Stand my ground is good advice, but how might that dialog look?  (I read this forum a lot and can help other people, when it comes to me with my aunt though- she's a force to be reckoned with and has been a thread topic more than once.)

Just read Kaypeep as I was posting.  That sounds good.

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