Author Topic: Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house *UPDATE* P25  (Read 9322 times)

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LEMon

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2012, 07:47:24 PM »
Sounds like Sam has a lot of anger, and some is displacing onto you.  But because he can't deal with his emotions, means you have to be even firmer about not allowing him to make you the bad guy.

I suspect he might be feeling guilt that you are elsewhere and he is in your house, plus anger over whatever happened, plus anger at how out of control his life is.  Accept none of this.  You have done nothing that should bring any anger down on you.  Polish your spine; I suspect it will get worse before they are out, and I suspect it will damage your relationship long term*.

*Don't mean your relationship is doomed, just that he may need serious time to get over all his anger issues since they are so out of control.

boxy

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2012, 08:39:09 PM »
Gasp!  Never, ever, EVER, touch another person's bike.  Just don't do it - it's rude.

gramma dishes

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2012, 08:43:02 PM »
...   I would also seriously consider moving back in there a couple of days before the first, because someone willing to be as aggressive as Sam is a high risk for doing something spiteful before he goes. Keep a close eye on things until they are out.   ...

I agree with this.  Otherwise I suspect you'll move back into your home only to find things broken and/or missing.  Holes in walls, missing kitchen appliances, stopped up toilets ...

I hate to say this, but as aggressive as Sam is being, I don't see them leaving quietly.   :-\

Julian

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2012, 08:57:52 PM »
Gasp!  Never, ever, EVER, touch another person's bike.  Just don't do it - it's rude.

POD.  Seriously, the guy is lucky he still has hands to touch it with.  Even at biker bars, people will look, drool, point, drool some more, but no touchies.  Ever.  Unless invited by the owner.

OP, good luck with the upcoming departure date.  Hopefully Sam will swallow some of that anger and do the right thing by you.


RegionMom

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #19 on: November 21, 2012, 10:58:36 PM »
Seraphine- I was reading past posts as quick as I could to see if the Nov. 30/31 had been caught!   ;)

OP--do not engage the crazy.  He is spoiling for a fight, because, as others have already stated, you are being blamed for their poor financials and future plans. 

be sure to have all your i's dotted and t's crossed, and perhaps witnesses when they leave?  And change the locks! 

Good luck. 
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

peach2play

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2012, 12:39:57 AM »
@Seraphine, thanks, it was really late last night when posting and yes, the email I sent them states Nov 30th so no issue there.

LEMon hit it on the head.  I'm being very careful how I deal with them and keeping a very low profile until they are out.  I make sure I'm at the house daily and thankfully my mom packed all of my stuff (I didn't want her to, but now it's working out for the best) so there's not much they can damage.  If there is damage to the house, I have no problem dealing with it on a legal level.  Thanks all for the support.

katiescarlett

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2012, 01:24:33 AM »
I'm not in the bike world, and I'd be pissed off after telling him THREE times to leave it alone. Whatever it was, it was mine.

If you *wanted* to talk with him, I'd ask to sit down, and then I'd say:
"Sam, I want to tell you something. I need to tell you the complete thing, so please don't interrupt. When I came over to deal with my bike, apparently you were in some sort of mood. That's not my problem, and I don't ever want you to make your moods my problem again. You're a grownup; you can control your emotions.
   "But the biggest thing I'm angry about is that you moved my bike--after I told you three times to leave it alone. I don't care *what* sort of mood you were in, I don't care who you were pissed off at. I don't even care if it was me. You messed with my stuff after I told you three times to leave it alone. That's the height of rudeness. And it's even more extreme in the bike world--a world that I know you are aware of.
   "The other thing that made me really mad was the 'I dare you' look. This is *my* home. It is *my* house. You are living here as a gift from me. And while you don't need to apologize for living, you should be treating me civilly at the VERY least.
    "Just to reiterate--you will need to be out by the end of the month, as was previously stated. And there will be absolutely no flexibility."

POD to this.

Black Delphinium

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2012, 11:01:51 AM »
Forgive my cynicism, but you have an appointment with a locksmith set up for the 2nd or so, right?
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

boxy

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #23 on: November 22, 2012, 11:13:30 AM »
Forgive my cynicism, but you have an appointment with a locksmith set up for the 2nd or so, right?
POD

Nora

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house
« Reply #24 on: November 22, 2012, 12:32:38 PM »
Forgive my cynicism, but you have an appointment with a locksmith set up for the 2nd or so, right?
POD

Best idea ever.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

peach2play

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house *UPDATE*
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2012, 07:27:25 PM »
They have found a house!  They are signing the papers tonight and will start packing and moving stuff as soon as they can.  I won't be changing the locks because my house is the defacto club house and everyone knows where the key is anyway so it makes no sense to do so.  I am almost 100% certain that nothing will happen to my stuff for a lot of reasons that would make this thread less generic.  Most of my stuff is packed up and downstairs in the basement except for what's in my room.  My tools and things are separate from theirs and since I will be helping them pack it will be pretty obvious if something of mine gets taken.  It's just stuff, it's insured and replaceable.  I brought the bike over to my mom's place today so that's out of the way.  I think things will go as smoothly as we can make it and I will have lots of backup there to make sure things do not get out of hand.

SamiHami

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house *UPDATE* P25
« Reply #26 on: November 23, 2012, 07:32:19 PM »
Great update! I'm sure your friendship will be much healthier once they are in their own place.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Nora

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Re: Extreme disrespect in my own house *UPDATE* P25
« Reply #27 on: November 25, 2012, 06:57:35 AM »
Great update! I'm sure your friendship will be much healthier once they are in their own place.

Agreed.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.