General Etiquette > Life...in general

Tell the truth and sound crazy or make up an excuse

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SamiHami:
I agree with Gramma Dishes,  but if pushed for a reason for having avoided her before the birth you wouldn't be out of line to say, perhaps a bit sheepishly, "I'm so sorry friend, but the truth is that I have a phobia regarding pregnancy and childbirth, not just for myself but for other people as well. I know it's sort of odd, but that's the truth of it. I hope you understand. But oh my gosh your baby is just the most beautiful child I've ever seen!"

For that matter, that can be used if she starts telling you stories about her labor and delivery that start to upset you, as well.

buvezdevin:
I agree with SamiHani and grandma dishes generally (and as usual) - the one caveat I would add is that OP has posted about a couple she had as housemates who recently found they were expecting. I'm not sure if they are still housemates of OP for reasons unrelated to the pregnancy, but as OP's friends with new baby live nearby, I would not assume they are entirely unaware of OP's housemate's situation.  Whether the nearby new parents are aware or not, I think the better bet is to just gush about new baby and not offer an explanation involving pregnancy phobias which the new parents may see as odd.

Pippen:

--- Quote from: SamiHami on November 20, 2012, 09:35:40 PM ---I agree with Gramma Dishes,  but if pushed for a reason for having avoided her before the birth you wouldn't be out of line to say, perhaps a bit sheepishly, "I'm so sorry friend, but the truth is that I have a phobia regarding pregnancy and childbirth, not just for myself but for other people as well. I know it's sort of odd, but that's the truth of it. I hope you understand. But oh my gosh your baby is just the most beautiful child I've ever seen!"

For that matter, that can be used if she starts telling you stories about her labor and delivery that start to upset you, as well.

--- End quote ---

Oh she would never push me for a reason, but I feel I need to offer one. I can handle stories after the event, it is just the lead up to it that spins me out. Someone telling me all the details of what it was like is fine because I know it is passed and they are safe, but if they mention things like "Oh my midwife recommended this breathing technique I am going to try it" that sets me off. It's very strange and kind of multi layered.

Raintree:
I think I'd offer an excuse and make it known that I'm sorry, I realize it's lame, but.....(insert excuse) and "I've been so remiss, but I'd love to come see the baby."

Thing is, I think most pregnant women would not understand the phobia thing. Myself, I feel a slightly sick feeling when I see a pregnant belly and I don't know why. I know it's natural, I know it's not "sickening" but my reaction is what it is. It's very slight so it does not prevent me from interacting with pregnant women, but when I tried to explain it to a friend (who was not and had never been pregnant) she seemed a little shocked and horrified. She didn't seem to understand that it was just an irrational gut reaction that I knew was irrational. She took it as "I find pregnancy sickening" which I don't really. But the sight of the belly does trigger a reaction, ever so slightly. I don't even really expect other posters here to understand.

Which is why I'd go with the excuse, as your friend may not really like hearing that you have a phobia around pregnant women.

stargazer:
How have you been having a flatmate who is pregnant and you have to see every day and yet couldn't go see your friend while she was pregnant?  I wouldn't use any excuse but just concentrate on the baby now.

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