General Etiquette > Life...in general

Am I being unreasonable? Update p12 & 15.

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Iris:

--- Quote from: Deetee on November 20, 2012, 10:57:04 PM ---Nope, you are not unreasonable. You have been flexible and accomodating.

I'm not sure what the best choice is now. Your friend seems to want to do anything to keep her husband happy and/or is not as into this trip as you. The husband sounds like a pill, but there isn't much hope of that changing. I think I would just make it very very clear to the friend what you are willing to do and what you are not.

Something like

"Friend, I was really looking to this time at the resort with just you and me. I was OK with switching from 2 days in the nice town to just one day because of the mix-up with the rental, but staying for three days at your house with you and your husband is just not the same as the vacation we had planned. As far as I can tell the only reason you want to cancel is because your husband doesn't want to put the cream on the dog's face and that is not a good enough reason to cancel for me.

So I will come down on Friday and then go down to resort town by myself. I would rather spend the time with you, but if you can't do that, I would rather spend the time by myself than stay with you and your husband. "

I might make some appeal to the friendship, but (personally) I wouldn't be able to stay with them because I would be too annoyed at the sulky useless husband and her for listening to him to have a good time.

--- End quote ---

I like this. She may choose to indulge her husband in his moods and that is fine. Doesn't mean *you* have to.

Loruaus:
Friend has offered to reimburse all costs associated with this trip, but this is not about the money and I am not interested in reimbursment. If this goes pear shaped and I lose the lot I will call it a lesson learnt (and hopefully learn from it!)

I do not like friends husband and im fairly sure he doesnt like me, he is a pill and he pulls stunts like this on a regular basis (more regular than she admits I am guessing) and she does roll over and give into him almost every time. I support my friend and her choice to have a relationship with her husband, for the sake of my friend and her sanity I often keep my mouth shut on issues that have me screaming inside. The moment she tells me she has had enough I will go and get my truck license and be on her doorstep in a flash! However, her choice to give in to his bad behaviour is her own decision but when he tries to assert his 'power' onto me then there are issues. I am not meek, I am not without spine and I to not take attempted trampling lighty.

I feel for my friend because she honestly is the most all round amazing person I have met and I only wish she knew her worth, but unfortunately low self esteem has alot to answer for  :(

I do not trust husband to pull similar stunts even if I do reorganize this trip. Friend told me weeks ago (before the dog) that he was very and vocally unhappy about this planned trip but was hoping that after a weekend camping trip he would be in a better mood. Well, it seems that he came up with another excuse.

Friend sent me a txt letting me know that she is dissapointed in my reaction to the changes and is worried what it will mean for our future.  :o

Iris:
Is it only me who hears hubby's voice behind that text?

Loruaus:
Deetee, I like your suggestion and am planning on using it.

Right now I am only communicating in txt, if I actually talk to her I just dont trust myself to not say something about her husband and relationship that cannot be taken back.

Loruaus:
That txt was all friend, I doubt friend has let husband know what is going on yet. He would probably start a rant and things would be much more stressfull for her.

I know friend can be selective on what information she passes on. Their whole relationship is just one big flashing red light on abusive.

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