With your ring on your right hand instead of your left, I'd assume it was not a wedding ring and that you were not married. Is the right hand the norm where you are?
whoops, I apparently forgot how to tell right from left last night. I actually wear my wedding ring on my left
After sleeping on it, and reading through the responses, I think the reason it's bugging me is that I associate "miss" with young girls. I kind of feel, well not exactly talked down to, but maybe less respected? Just a weird, uncomfortable sensation that's hard to put into words. Especially since, to me, the term was just kind of tacked on. The first server could have just asked "and what would you like?" or even "and for you?" The Miss is unnecessary. Same with the older gentleman at the hardware store.
I know that this is my own hang up, but is there any reasonable way to adddress this without coming across as a crazy lady and making some poor service employee's day darker? It shouldn't bother me, and obviously this is a YMMV issue, but it keeps happening, and it's leaving a bad taste in my mouth where these businesses are concerned. Not enough that I would avoid them, or boycott them, but it would be a tiebreaker if I was considering 2 different restaurants.
Girlie--I live in the Southwest. Specifically, Arizona