Author Topic: Already making enemies and I just moved in  (Read 7080 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Already making enemies and I just moved in
« on: November 21, 2012, 09:05:37 AM »
I understand the concern from my one new neighbor and I am going to do what I can to stop my mom's dog (only here until Sunday) from getting into her yard.  When she told me she didn't think I was allowed to have dogs (I rent) I offered to give her my landlord's number so she could call and ask. I also understand that the trailer still parked in front of her house is a nuisance, but I didn't know my work schedule until I got here and won't be able to move it until next week. I am going to do what I can to get it more in front of my house. Her almost scolding tone annoyed me, but she is mostly blind and I understand she's just scared.

However, hearing from her that the other side neighbor is scared because she has a daycare over there and that I need to do something about it, really grinded my gears. I don't know exactly what Im supposed to do.  As long as my dogs stay out of the daycare yard, I have done something about it as far as I'm concerned.

My question is where to go from here?  I am annoyed (and stubborn), so I'm not entirely sure I'm thinking straight about this. On one hand, my concern is my dogs staying in my yard; if daycare lady has a problem she can come talk to me. On the other hand, I could put the first foot forward an go talk to her, but I'm not entirely sure I'm willing to only let my dogs out at certain times due to the daycare.
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sourwolf

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2012, 09:09:37 AM »
I'd be really annoyed if there was a trailer parked in front of my house for a week!  I think you should definitely move it so it's not in the same place the entire time, even if you can't get rid of it until next week.  Frankly, I'm not sure how it's her problem that you didn't know your work schedule, but like I said, I'd be really annoyed if there was a trailer in front of my house for that long, not to mention the fact that it sounds like you got pretty snotty with her.  It would have been a lot better to just say that you'd asked the landlord and dogs were fine.  I really think you're making the situation worse, not better.

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2012, 09:17:21 AM »
I'm sorry, but I think your stubbornness may be putting you in the wrong here.  You sound like you are being difficult. 

The best course of action would be to say something like "I am sorry about the trailer being in your way.  It will be gone in a week or so.  I am still in the process of moving and am not actually around yet."

It would be the most neighbourly for you to approach the daycare lady and discuss the dog situation with her like an adult and a good neighbour.  Maybe reassure her that the dogs are well trained and won't come into her yard (do you have a fence)?

Why are you not willing to put your dogs on a schedule that would also accomodate your neighbours?

Zilla

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2012, 09:24:42 AM »
Blind or not, a trailer in front of my house for another week would be very annoying to me as well.   I would get that moved pronto as it sounds like an error on the company's behalf of putting it in the wrong place.
 
As for your dogs and your mom's dog escaping the yard, I would immeadiately get tie downs and only let them out on the chain till they don't escape.  And especially it being a daycare next door. 
 
Sorry OP, those are not frivolous concerns and I would be apologizing if I was in your shoes.

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2012, 09:29:17 AM »
Blind or not, a trailer in front of my house for another week would be very annoying to me as well.   I would get that moved pronto as it sounds like an error on the company's behalf of putting it in the wrong place.
 
As for your dogs and your mom's dog escaping the yard, I would immeadiately get tie downs and only let them out on the chain till they don't escape.  And especially it being a daycare next door. 
 
Sorry OP, those are not frivolous concerns and I would be apologizing if I was in your shoes.

I agree - these are not some petty issues she's brought to your attention.

The trailer needs to go ASAP - is there a reason it was in front of your neighbour's house in the first place? And the dog issue, you need to make sure your animals are safely contained in your own yard at any time by whatever means you have.
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WillyNilly

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2012, 09:30:01 AM »
So let me get this straight, you have a dog (your mom's or not is not withstanding - its in your possession so for now its your dog) that got into her yard and you think anything she said to you was annoying?  I think you should have thanked her profusely cause I can tell you I wouldn't have spoken a word to you - I would have called the police and gotten the animal removed.  I would not stand for a dog in my yard at all for any amount of time.

And again with the trailer - are you 100% sure its legal?  Because I know in my city its illegal to A) illegal to park any vehicle unmoved for 24+ hours on a street and B) illegal to park any trailer/truck/commercial vehicle over night on the street.  So your neighbor talking to you first, no matter what tone or attitude she may have had, was actually her being quite nice and considerate of you.  Many people would just call to have it ticketed and/or towed.

Having a trailer parked in front of her home over a long holiday weekend is especially annoying probably if she's planning on having company.

cheyne

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2012, 09:32:53 AM »
It isn't her business whether you have dogs or not.  However, it is her business if your dogs are in her yard.  Do you have a fence?  Are the dogs leashed or tied up when outside?  If you are just opening the door and letting them out in an unfenced yard I can see her concern.

Please try to get the trailer moved ASAP.  Mostly blind or not, I can empathize with her if there is a trailer blocking her view of the street.

I know that moving and starting a new job are tiring and frustrating.  But remember that first impressions stick with people a long time.  These people may be your neighbors for several years, so a little extra effort on your part now can make the transition smoother for you and your neighbors.

cicero

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2012, 09:39:02 AM »
I hate to dogpile here (sorry! pun un-intended!)

but PPs are correct. If you are allowed to have dogs then you are allowed to have dogs - *that* i s not her business. but your dogs cannot get into her yard, period end of discussion.

and if i were running a day care center, and my neighbor's dog was getting out of its yard, i would be *very* concerned.

Since you want to do the right (ehell approved) thing, why not take a deep breath, regroup, and start over. get the trailor moved asap. do *whatever it is you need to do* to make sure the dogs do not escape. and take over a plate of freshly baked cookies to both neighbors, apologize, and say that you "hope we can put this behind us"

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2012, 09:40:43 AM »
To clarify: I did say I understand about the trailer and that I'm going to move it. I realize it is not her fault and I did apologize to her profusely. I have no issue with the blind neighbor and am tryin to do what I can to address her concerns. As far as being "snotty" I was anything but and I'm not sure where you got that from. I have an abbreviated summary of our discussion so as not to overload with the minutiae.  It actually started with her telling me how the previous people weren't allowed to have a dog, me explaining that I'm allowed and that 2 of them are extra just until Sunday. She expressed again that she didn't think I was allowed, so, trying to put a good foot forward, I offered to give her my landlord's number and that I wouldn't mind if she checked.

Again, I have no issue with the blind neighbor. I understand her concerns an apologized to her profusely. I was annoyed at her scolding tone because I know I deserved it. The trailer and my Kim's dog getting into her yard have been addressed (he crawled under the fence). I nee to know how to proceed with the daycare neighbor. None of the dogs have gotten into her yard.

My concern is the daycare neighbor and how to handle that situation.

As far as not being willing to put my dogs on a schedule, I'm not entirely sure. It was my gut reaction; I will think on it more an get back to you.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

sourwolf

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2012, 09:43:39 AM »
It's snotty to say "call the landlord and ask" when you could have said "No, I spoke to the landlord and it's ok to have a dog."

onyonryngs

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2012, 09:46:13 AM »
Why not just take the dogs out on leashed walks until Sunday?  If you're not able to fortify the fence so that you are 100% sure they're not going to get out, that seems like the right thing to do.  I realize it can be a bit of a hassle, but that's what you sign up for when you have pets.  You can't let them out unsupervised when you know the fence is an issue.

Zilla

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2012, 09:46:46 AM »
To clarify: I did say I understand about the trailer and that I'm going to move it. I realize it is not her fault and I did apologize to her profusely. I have no issue with the blind neighbor and am tryin to do what I can to address her concerns. As far as being "snotty" I was anything but and I'm not sure where you got that from. I have an abbreviated summary of our discussion so as not to overload with the minutiae.  It actually started with her telling me how the previous people weren't allowed to have a dog, me explaining that I'm allowed and that 2 of them are extra just until Sunday. She expressed again that she didn't think I was allowed, so, trying to put a good foot forward, I offered to give her my landlord's number and that I wouldn't mind if she checked.

Again, I have no issue with the blind neighbor. I understand her concerns an apologized to her profusely. I was annoyed at her scolding tone because I know I deserved it. The trailer and my Kim's dog getting into her yard have been addressed (he crawled under the fence). I nee to know how to proceed with the daycare neighbor. None of the dogs have gotten into her yard.

My concern is the daycare neighbor and how to handle that situation.

As far as not being willing to put my dogs on a schedule, I'm not entirely sure. It was my gut reaction; I will think on it more an get back to you.

Using terms like Annoyed and Stubborn is what threw me off.
 
As for the daycare neighbor, if your dogs are completely under your control and you don't have a single incident with them escaping/barking incessantly, I wouldn't do anything until she personally approaches you.  (you said blind neighbor was the one that mentioned the daycare neighbor right?)

Redneck Gravy

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2012, 09:48:44 AM »
Addressing one issue at a time: The trailer parked in front of your neighbor's house?  Move it.  Not having enough information about it, is it a small travel trailer or a small moving van type trailer?  Can it be pushed up into your yard for the next week?  If you have the time to pull in front of your house why isn't there enough time to move it where it belongs - does it have to be towed out of town? 

If you have taken care of the fencing issue with the dogs then it has been taken care of. 

Go talk to the daycare and find out what her concerns are then you can address those. 

And I would not give anyone my landlord's number to call and confirm anything about my personal business.  You have a dog, you are allowed to have a dog, it's no one else's business what renting arrangements you have.   The last thing a landlord wants is someone calling to constantly complain about a renter and quite frankly if there are loose dog issues near a daycare that would red flag me about liability issues. 


Sharnita

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2012, 09:54:17 AM »
It's snotty to say "call the landlord and ask" when you could have said "No, I spoke to the landlord and it's ok to have a dog."

I don't agree.  It sounds like the neighbor wasn't willing to believe OP when she said that the landlord said she was allowed to have it and so Op was going the extra mile and offering contact info so that the neighbor could check for herself.

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2012, 09:57:02 AM »
To clarify: I did say I understand about the trailer and that I'm going to move it. I realize it is not her fault and I did apologize to her profusely. I have no issue with the blind neighbor and am tryin to do what I can to address her concerns. As far as being "snotty" I was anything but and I'm not sure where you got that from. I have an abbreviated summary of our discussion so as not to overload with the minutiae.  It actually started with her telling me how the previous people weren't allowed to have a dog, me explaining that I'm allowed and that 2 of them are extra just until Sunday. She expressed again that she didn't think I was allowed, so, trying to put a good foot forward, I offered to give her my landlord's number and that I wouldn't mind if she checked.

Again, I have no issue with the blind neighbor. I understand her concerns an apologized to her profusely. I was annoyed at her scolding tone because I know I deserved it. The trailer and my Kim's dog getting into her yard have been addressed (he crawled under the fence). I nee to know how to proceed with the daycare neighbor. None of the dogs have gotten into her yard.

My concern is the daycare neighbor and how to handle that situation.

As far as not being willing to put my dogs on a schedule, I'm not entirely sure. It was my gut reaction; I will think on it more an get back to you.

The first bolded: Ditto sourwolf. It was your suggestion for her to call your landlord that came off as snotty. I'll trust that your tone wasn't snotty when you said it.

The second bolded: I know that you know that is your problem and not hers. The good news is that now you've identified that scolding triggers your stubbornness and can lead to you being unreasonable, you can work on changing that. Is that maybe why you wanted feedback from the folks here?

You've gotten enough feedback on the trailer and dog issues, but I want to suggest that you should just do something to contain the dog, preferably visible such as a chain or only letting the dog out when you are there with him, and then pretend that the neighbor lady never told you about the daycare lady's concerns. You can still go over to introduce yourself and apologize for any inconvenience you may have caused moving in or having the dog around. But don't let on that it was discussed between the neighbor lady and you. You don't know how accurate the report is and it will just be awkward.
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