Author Topic: Already making enemies and I just moved in  (Read 7782 times)

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Sharnita

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #30 on: November 21, 2012, 11:05:52 AM »
It isn't running into a garden anymore. It dug its way out, OP fixed the problem.

Knitterly

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #31 on: November 21, 2012, 11:32:53 AM »
OP, in your followup post, you mentioned apologizing (profusely).  But that information is not in your opening post, and it has been my experience that this is where people get the information they go on for the rest of the thread.  Maybe you could edit your original post to indicate that you did apologize? 

My opinion is that you should put your stubbornness aside, and make the first move in going to talk to Daycare Neighbour.  After all, she wasn't the one who took the sharp tone with you.  It could very well be that she voiced a brief concern to the other neighbour who just sort of ran with it. 

As others have mentioned, first impressions go a long way.  Going over with a plate (or a tin if you're not inclined to bake) of cookies would go far - at least with me.  Maybe you can say something like "I found out that one of my dogs dug their way out while I was not home.  One of the other neighbours mentioned that it was concerning as you own a daycare.  I just wanted you to know that I have taken care of the situation and it won't happen again."

Don't offer to put your dogs on a schedule.  She may not insist on it or even think about it.  It may very well be that all she needs is to know that you have taken care of the situation and that it won't happen again.

The trailer situation will take care of itself as I presume you have already made plans to get the trailer out of there as soon as all your things are in your house.

Maybe you can also take a plate or tin of cookies over to the neighbour who complained and say something like how you regret getting off on the wrong foot, reiterate that you've fixed the problem with the fence and assure her that the dog won't get out again (and maybe let her know that you only have the one and that the other two left or will be leaving with your mother).

These are just ideas.  I do think that the first impression could be easy enough to fix.

BabyMama

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #32 on: November 21, 2012, 11:45:07 AM »
I'd just like to note that some people see a new homeowner as a "changing of the guard", if you will, and feel like they can voice their concerns right away. When we moved into our house, the next door neighbors (who didn't even live there, they rent the house out) came over to scold us about the pile of gravel rocks in our yard (I assume the previous homeowners had recently graveled the driveway, ended up with extra rock, and didn't know what to do with it so just left it there.) Yes, we agree it's unsightly, and will do something about it--after we have moved our furniture inside, though, OK?   ::)

That said, I can see the other issues too. My grandma is getting more feeble and doesn't see as well, and we've been reminded several times to make sure our dogs are not underfoot (not us in particular, but my sister and uncle have young dogs that are pretty lively, so it's a valid concern.) And a trailer in front of my house would be annoying too, especially if I didn't know when it was going to be gone.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #33 on: November 21, 2012, 11:46:11 AM »
The daycare neighbor hasn't approached you. So I wouldn't bother approaching her.

Just figure out how to make extra sure the dogs *can't* get out of your yard. Get a long chain for them. Or if they're only visiting for a week, then just keep them inside and do potty breaks on a leash.

The trailer is annoying, but you know what? It's a public street. As long as its' *legal* to park it there, I don't think you need to be that apologetic anymore.

Get rid of it as fast as you can, and put it in front of your house or in your drive if at all possible.

I'd just like to note that some people see a new homeowner as a "changing of the guard", if you will, and feel like they can voice their concerns right away.

stargazer

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #34 on: November 21, 2012, 11:48:24 AM »
It isn't running into a garden anymore. It dug its way out, OP fixed the problem.

Please quote where she fixed the problem because I must have missed that post.  Her first post said this :"I am going to do what I can to stop my mom's dog (only here until Sunday) from getting into her yard" which is NOT the same as actually fixing it. 

Isisnin

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #35 on: November 21, 2012, 12:15:53 PM »
Another viewpoint ... OP, you don't actually know that the daycare neighbor (DN) said anything about your dogs.  You only know for sure that the blind neighbor (BN) says daycare neighbor mentioned concern about the dogs.  Daycare neighbor may not have said anything or perhaps when blind neighbor mentioned your dogs to the daycare neighbor, DN may just have mumbled some social nicety thinking that it was pointless to disagree with BN.  You learned that yourself OP, when BN continued to say your LL wouldn't like the dogs even though you had explained that they were ok.

So I wouldn't approach the DN about the dogs.  Just be sure to normally courteous about them.

You may want to speak to your LL about the BN.  Especially if she now has your LL's phone number (she may have it anyways).  She could be the type that complains a lot - even under the guise of neighborly concern.  By explaining to your LL that there was one "getaway" of one dog and the problem has been corrected and won't reoccur, the LL would be ready for any call from the BN.  And the LL may mention whether or not the BN is a complainer.

« Last Edit: November 21, 2012, 12:26:41 PM by Isisnin »

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #36 on: November 21, 2012, 01:18:02 PM »
The trailer and my Kim's dog getting into her yard have been addressed (he crawled under the fence). I nee to know how to proceed with the daycare neighbor. None of the dogs have gotten into her yard.

Here's where MM said the issue with the dog(s) escaping was addressed.

Magpie, I would wait until you see the daycare neighbour out and about.  Introduce yourself, have a little chat and then just casually mention that BN was concerned about the dogs being next door to the daycare.  And ask if she would like your phone number in case there is ever an issue that needs to be addressed.  I wouldn't march over and knock on her door or anything.

If the trailer is legally allowed to be on the street, you don't need to move it.  But if there is space and you can move it more in front of your own house, that would definitely be better.

I was sort of BN a few years ago.  My neighbours moved in on a very snowy day.  Our driveways are shared at the bottom and their moving truck was angled in such a way that he was partially in my driveway.  Additionally, their car was parked in front of my house.  I needed to clear the driveway and I was definitely miffed at these inconveniences.  I didn't say anything to them, however, and just cleaned my driveway, grumbling under my breath the whole time.  And then when I got inside and started to relax, I rolled my eyes at myself.  I sure wouldn't want to have to move on a day like that!  They introduced themselves a few days later and we've been friends ever since.
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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #37 on: November 21, 2012, 01:51:59 PM »
OP, if, in the 35 minutes between your first and second post, you were able to fix both the trailer issue and dog issue, why didn't you just do so before this?

Pippen

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #38 on: November 21, 2012, 02:05:13 PM »
It could be one of those 'I'll believe it when I see it." situations where despite assurances people are skeptical anyway. You might just need to give them a say in handling the dog situation. Instead of saying the dog is just there until Sunday ask them what they require from you to make them feel more comfortable about the situation and then follow through on the requests or at least negotiate some compromise. That really shows you are listening to their concerns and taking action on them.

bansidhe

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #39 on: November 21, 2012, 02:05:37 PM »
For those posters who are suggesting that the OP put the dogs on chains or tie-outs: this is dangerous, tends to produce behavior and aggression problems in dogs, and in many areas, it is illegal.


My concern is the daycare neighbor and how to handle that situation.


I would go over, knock on her door, and introduce myself. I'd give her a slip of paper with my name and phone number and reassure her that two of the dogs are only visiting until Sunday, you've fixed the area of the fence the dog had snuck under, and she's more than welcome to give you a call if she has any more concerns about the dogs.

Pod to this. Even if daycare neighbor hasn't said anything to anyone and the dogs haven't caused any problems there, it's probably good to introduce yourself. OP's dogs are big (and fuzzy and adorable!) so some people may be frightened of them. Knowing that the owner is a decent person may help alleviate some of that - and anyway, it's just a nice thing to do.
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TurtleDove

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #40 on: November 21, 2012, 02:13:53 PM »
Even if daycare neighbor hasn't said anything to anyone and the dogs haven't caused any problems there, it's probably good to introduce yourself. OP's dogs are big (and fuzzy and adorable!) so some people may be frightened of them. Knowing that the owner is a decent person may help alleviate some of that - and anyway, it's just a nice thing to do.

I agree with this.  I like to look at photos of dogs.  That said, I am afraid of dogs.  Not a clinical phobia, but I think sometime animal lovers forget that many people are legitimately afraid of dogs - especially certain breeds and dogs over a certain size.  I used to have a neighbor with a pitbull tied up in the yard that would bark and lunge at me (its chain allowed it within inches of the sidewalk) at me every time I ran past and it scared me every time to the point I would scream in fear.  I guess my point is that even adorable dogs (that pitbull was adorable....from a distance) can be scary for adults, let alone children.  I think it makes sense to introduce yourself and see if there is any way to have the dog issue not be "an issue" with the daycare.  The daycare lady may be concerned she will lose business.  I know I would not want my child around dogs when I am not there because, well, like I said, I am afraid of them.

TootsNYC

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #41 on: November 21, 2012, 02:28:55 PM »
It could be one of those 'I'll believe it when I see it." situations where despite assurances people are skeptical anyway. You might just need to give them a say in handling the dog situation. Instead of saying the dog is just there until Sunday ask them what they require from you to make them feel more comfortable about the situation and then follow through on the requests or at least negotiate some compromise. That really shows you are listening to their concerns and taking action on them.

No, that gives them way too much control.

Especially since there hasn't even been an incident w/ the daycare people, and there's only been one incident w/ the Blind Neighbor.


onyonryngs

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #42 on: November 21, 2012, 02:35:44 PM »
Pod to this. Even if daycare neighbor hasn't said anything to anyone and the dogs haven't caused any problems there, it's probably good to introduce yourself. OP's dogs are big (and fuzzy and adorable!) so some people may be frightened of them. Knowing that the owner is a decent person may help alleviate some of that - and anyway, it's just a nice thing to do.

Ok, wait, maybe I missed something.  I thought it was mom's 2 dogs that were getting out.  So OP has 2 of her own so there are 4 dogs total that are getting out?  I still don't think it's a good idea to leave dogs in a backyard unsupervised (if the issue with the hole has been addressed - I read the "addressed" as just being addressed with the neighbor), especially in a new neighborhood they're not used to yet.

Sharnita

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #43 on: November 21, 2012, 02:38:31 PM »
I believe there are 3 dogs but 2 will be gone shortly. Only one has gotten ou and that was only one time.

stargazer

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Re: Already making enemies and I just moved in
« Reply #44 on: November 21, 2012, 02:43:55 PM »
I believe there are 3 dogs but 2 will be gone shortly. Only one has gotten ou and that was only one time.

No, the OP has at least two from what she has posted before.