General Etiquette > Life...in general

How to write a letter of condolence on the anniversary of a death?

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Knitterly:
The thread title sums up what I need to know.

Here are the details.
We are coming up on the anniversary of the death of a dear friend.  As our parents were friends before either of us were born, I knew this person his whole life.  We may not have been super close friends, but his death was like losing a cousin.  It was absolutely unexpected and devastating to friends and family. 
At the age of 30-*ahem*, I still refer to this friend's mother as Aunt X.  She has invited me to call her by her first name, but I can't bring myself to do it.  She will always be Aunt X, and my friend's father will always be Uncle Y.

So with the anniversary of the death coming up, I need to do something.  I thought about sending flowers, but wondered if their house might be inundated with them.  I found an old polaroid picture that I took 22 years ago of their son.  It has his name and the year written on it in my childish handwriting. 

Thoughts on how to compose a note would be greatly appreciated - especially advice from those who have lost a close family member (sibling or child).

rosiegirl:
I think you should send a card or letter letting her know you were thinking of her.  Then you could share how you found the picture of son and that reminded you of x story about her hubby or x time that y happened.  Share something with her that lets her know that she isn't alone in missing him and that you remember him fondly. If she is close by, maybe offer to take her to lunch so she knows that she is still important to you too.

heartmug:

--- Quote from: rosiegirl on November 21, 2012, 11:07:29 AM ---I think you should send a card or letter letting her know you were thinking of her.  Then you could share how you found the picture of son and that reminded you of x story about her hubby or x time that y happened.  Share something with her that lets her know that she isn't alone in missing him and that you remember him fondly.

--- End quote ---

I think that is a great idea.  When my dad died, I so appreciated the people who remembered the anniversary of his death and sent a note.

hobish:

Podding rosiegirl's idea is a good one.

This is a great topic. I wanted to do something similar last month for the anniversary of a friend's death. In the end i was paralyzed with indecision and doubt and ended up doing nothing  :-[ I should have asked EHell; i don't know why i didn't.

Bijou:
You could made a donation in his name to a favored organization or charity with a card sent to the family. 

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