General Etiquette > Life...in general

How to write a letter of condolence on the anniversary of a death?

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TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: rosiegirl on November 21, 2012, 11:07:29 AM ---I think you should send a card or letter letting her know you were thinking of her.  Then you could share how you found the picture of son and that reminded you of x story about her hubby or x time that y happened.  Share something with her that lets her know that she isn't alone in missing him and that you remember him fondly. If she is close by, maybe offer to take her to lunch so she knows that she is still important to you too.

--- End quote ---

Great advice.  It is very easy to say the wrong thing and impossible to say anything that will help, so simply letting them know you are thinking of them is appropriate.

jpcher:
I think rosiegirl is spot on.

Taking your friends parents to lunch or somesuch would be a very nice thing to do, but don't plan for it on the anniversary. Maybe, in your card, include your phone number and ask them that they call with a suggestion of getting together for a bit.

The photo is so touching. It sounds like it's important to you. If you were thinking of sending it to them, make sure that you scan it and either send them the scan or the original.


The first anniversary is the hardest. You don't have to do a lot, just letting them know that you are thinking of them is the right/important thing to do.



I don't think that flowers would be out of line at all.

Knitterly:
Lunch may sound nice, but is simply too far to be feasible.  Aunt X and Uncle Y will want to spend most of the time surrounding this period with their surviving children, anyway. 

I had already decided on a note.  I am really looking for help with the wording.  So far, I have "Dear Aunt X and Uncle Y."  That's it.  Then I get stuck.  I just don't know what to say.   :(

TurtleDove:
Dear Aunt X and Uncle Y:  I just wanted to let you know [late son] and you are in my thoughts.  I recently found this photo I took of him and it made me smile - I hope it makes you smile too!  I hope to see you [insert feasible next time you will see them].  Love, Knitterly

Mikayla:
These are always so hard to write.  What about something like:

Dear Aunt Mary and Uncle John:  You're both in my thoughts at this time, and of course, so is Cousin.  I wanted to share this photo with you that I found.  I don't know if you remember, but we were (insert short backstory summation - this can even be humorous).

When I think about how much I miss him in my life, I can't imagine how hard this is for you.  Please know that you're in my thoughts (and prayers, if appropriate).

Sincerely (or Love) Knitterly

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