As for Smokey catching you off guard for a favor, I'd just reply "its not a good time" and close the door or get away from the conversation quickly. If he asks "when will be?" just say "honestly I don't know, no time soon." Yes ideally you'd be more blunt and to the point, but lets face it, sometimes we just need the easy way out, and "its not a good time" is quick and easy and works for many situations - can I borrow $10 / actually its not a good time, I only have enough cash for today, can I do some laundry / its not a good time, I've got a load in and 2 waiting, etc. Then once you are comfortable with saying "no" then I think the whole "the favors are a one way street with you - I asked you for a favor regarding my husband and you disregarded it, so really I don't see why i should do you any."