General Etiquette > general

End of a Friendship...?

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Thanks to all of you who have replied, you are prettying much saying what I have been thinking.

Unfortunately I have to have the conversation with her before I get my money out, as we set it up so that neither of us could withdraw individually, we both have to be there.  I guess that is also a good thing, although I know she would never steal from me, she is not that kind of person.

Not really sure where the etiquette question is here but I'm sorry about this difficulty in your relationship with your BFF.

Unless you have a good reason to believe your BFF cannot be trusted to raid your bank account, I'd hold off on getting your money out. I mean, personally, I'd plan on taking it out but do it afterwards as a sign of good faith...after having a conversation with BFF.

I'd discuss something along the lines of " seems to have her in a different place than you both could've predicted two years ago" (not entirely true - HER CHOICES are what have her in a different place but that's BFF's business totally as you've acknowledged). "As such, I'd like to go ahead and split the remaining monies in the account and later on we can discuss another way to celebrate our friendship that won't be at odds with your new marriage and child-bearing plans." Act happy for her (who knows? eventually you may well be) but right now these major changes have sidetracked your friendship and it may be awhile before you both find your balance. I hope you won't have to end the friendship but honestly, I think a conversation about where it's going is in order first. Best wishes

I agree with those who suggested withdrawing your money ASAP. Once that's done I'd cool on on the friendship a bit. I wouldn't end it at that point, but I would give her a let space to let her get over her new-relationship phase. Once the dust settles I'd reevaluate.

My thinking with the money wasn't that *she* would steal from you, but more that her new man might start morphing his thoughts to it being her money then morph to it being particially his. I understand trusting your friend, but how well do you know and trust this new guy? I mean sure its great to give a friend's new SO benefit of the doubt, but there's still a limit, and she's clearly been discussing the future party and vacation plans with him - until you know him better you don't know how he thinks. I've known plenty of guys where thiswouldn't be an issue, but I've known plenty who would be whispering "that's BS! That's your money! That's supposed to pay for airfare and a cabana on the beach!"

Good point WillyNilly, I never thought about it like that.  I don't know him at all, have only met him a handful of times...

Food for thought...


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