General Etiquette > Life...in general

How to politely handle a negative person

<< < (2/7) > >>

Luci:
Why do you call them "friends" when you say you don't know them well and they are new to you? It sounds like they are acquaintances that you are just testing out.

The evening was a trainwreck, as above, and if you couldn't get Jill to lighten up with humor (did you try?), you did the best you could.

I love what your husband did. I would go back soon, maybe with more adventurous or at least nice people, just to feel better, too.

I'm pretty sure that if I took someone to our local Chinese restaurant and she acted like that, after telling her to knock it off, I would have apologized to the server and asked to see the mom (who recognizes us) to aplogize, boxed up, left, and never seen these people again.

The only explanation I can see is chemical (legal or illegal or natural) issues. If that is so, just keep these people at your home. If not, drop them.

Outdoor Girl:
I think the only option remaining to you was the nuclear option.  'Jill, you are making me very uncomfortable.  Please stop making derogatory comments about the food or DH and I will have our meals packaged to go and leave.'

And I wouldn't bother pursuing this couple as friends.

Raintree:
Yikes, I don't know what I would have done during the outing itself, but I would not be pursuing this friendship further, even for events that did not involve eating. Their behaviour at the restaurant says a lot about them and I probably wouldn't want to associate with them at all.

sammycat:

--- Quote from: Julian on November 21, 2012, 09:09:59 PM ---And that's not negative behaviour, it's just plain rude.  A tantrum, effectively, from an adult in public. 

--- End quote ---

I agree.  It's entirely possible to be negative politely (quiet voice etc), but Jill's behaviour was beyond the pale. I highly doubt this was a one off performance either, and for this reason I'd be dropping her like a hot potato.

gollymolly2:

--- Quote from: Outdoor Girl on November 21, 2012, 09:46:54 PM ---I think the only option remaining to you was the nuclear option.  'Jill, you are making me very uncomfortable.  Please stop making derogatory comments about the food or DH and I will have our meals packaged to go and leave.'

And I wouldn't bother pursuing this couple as friends.

--- End quote ---

I agree.

I've said a couple times recently "I think you're being really rude" when I think someone has crossed a line. It's actually been kind of freeing - no more worrying about using the right phrase or some semi-PA tactics. I think that could work in a situation like this, and if she responded by arguing with you or ratcheting things up, that would just be confirmation that these are not people you want to stay friends with.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version