General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

New 'Neighbours' Put On The Spot - What Should Have Happened?

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TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: Outdoor Girl on November 22, 2012, 10:06:48 AM ---I think client was fine, if perhaps a bit overeager.  I do agree with the OP, though, that Associate 1 should have bypassed the cupcake when his client took one, since he could see how many cupcakes there were and knew how many people were in the office.  Unless he couldn't know if someone else had already taken their cupcake.  Then he did nothing wrong.

I think the OP and Associate 2 responded perfectly to the situation by agreeing to share one and sparing the feelings of the new 'neighbours'.

--- End quote ---

The one thing about this is that the Client then may feel self-conscious.

Though I'm wondering if there was a "ooh, cupcakes! Grab one quick" mood on the part of the first 2 people to take a cupcake (Client and Associate1) that make this incident really stand out for the OP.

Iris:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on November 23, 2012, 02:38:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: Outdoor Girl on November 22, 2012, 10:06:48 AM ---I think client was fine, if perhaps a bit overeager.  I do agree with the OP, though, that Associate 1 should have bypassed the cupcake when his client took one, since he could see how many cupcakes there were and knew how many people were in the office.  Unless he couldn't know if someone else had already taken their cupcake.  Then he did nothing wrong.

I think the OP and Associate 2 responded perfectly to the situation by agreeing to share one and sparing the feelings of the new 'neighbours'.

--- End quote ---

The one thing about this is that the Client then may feel self-conscious.

Though I'm wondering if there was a "ooh, cupcakes! Grab one quick" mood on the part of the first 2 people to take a cupcake (Client and Associate1) that make this incident really stand out for the OP.

--- End quote ---

This stuck out to me a bit. We are fortunate enough that at times the home science students bring around the treats that they have made. They are highly prized and there are not necessarily enough for everyone to have one because it's not a catered thing obviously. I have never seen anyone just grab one. Everyone takes a moment to admire the work, exchange pleasantries with the students etc and also to wait for them to explicitly ask if we would like one. Grabbing food like that seems gauche to me.

Girlie:
I, for one, am willing to buck trend and say that I do think the client was rude. There was a limited amount of food, obviously provided for those working in office. The polite thing to do would of course been to have refrained unless specifically offered a cupcake.

If I were the associate, I wouldn't have taken one once my client did, but would have begged off with a large breakfast or dinner excuse or something.

Slartibartfast:
In a general sense, yes, the associate should have declined politely.  However, the rules of hosting may have been in his way: the client was already eating a cupcake, and declining would have called attention to the fact that there hadn't been enough cupcakes to go around (and with a little logical extension, that the client wasn't expected and therefore grabbed one when he otherwise might have passed).  If it would have then been the associate and the client finishing a meeting together, it would have been awkward for the client to be eating and the associate to have said no.  In that situation, I think the associate was right to accept a cupcake and trust you guys to figure out how to smooth it over.  I do think he should have gone out and gotten cupcakes for the office at the next opportunity, however, as a thanks for covering what could have been an awkward situation.

SoCalVal:

--- Quote from: Slartibartfast on November 25, 2012, 11:50:57 PM ---In a general sense, yes, the associate should have declined politely.  However, the rules of hosting may have been in his way: the client was already eating a cupcake, and declining would have called attention to the fact that there hadn't been enough cupcakes to go around (and with a little logical extension, that the client wasn't expected and therefore grabbed one when he otherwise might have passed).  If it would have then been the associate and the client finishing a meeting together, it would have been awkward for the client to be eating and the associate to have said no.  In that situation, I think the associate was right to accept a cupcake and trust you guys to figure out how to smooth it over.  I do think he should have gone out and gotten cupcakes for the office at the next opportunity, however, as a thanks for covering what could have been an awkward situation.

--- End quote ---

You present a good point.

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