"You poor things..."

[Rose2Bear]

So I suppose this is a little after the fact but I was wondering what others thought...

At the coffee shop I work at, we are open every single day - that means Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Day and so forth.  To relay this information to customers, we put up a sign the week of the holiday that says we are open and gives the store hours (we do have limited hours those days at least).

Inevitably, there are always the customers who say "Aww you guys have to work on Christmas? You poor things!" (Yes, more than one person has actually called us "poor things.) It doesnt bother me as much when a regular customer, the kind that are in there three times a day, say this but when its the unfamiliar customer who we dont know,m I find this sort of patronizing becasue to me it seems like they are sort of rubbing in that its a holiday and most people will be at home but we will be there.  Also, pretty much EVERYONE who works on the holidays does so becasue they VOLUNTEER (we get time and a half for holidays, plus we have about five people who celebrate Hannukah so they had no problem helping out on Christmas).  So there really is no need to feel bad for us.

So I guess my etiquette question is: Is it rude to express sympathies to employees (sympathies that always sound sort of insincere or patronizing) about working on holidays, or am I just taking this too personal? Pretty much every time someone said it to me this year, it really rubbed me the wrong way. 

Also, what is the proper thing to say back? Usually I just smiled and didn't say anything, but when some of them starting to get a little long windedabout us "poor things having to work" i would say "well most of the people wanted to work."

[Alida]

While you might have the option to volunteer for the holiday shift, there are others who do not.  I've spent many holidays apart from my husband, who has to work (thankfully, Christmas is the only one we get together, and even that was in question one year).

I'd just smile and say, "Thanks, but I like working that day." or something along those lines.

[dawbs]

I always went with "well, if customers didn't spend money that day, it wouldn't be profitable for the store to be open..."

or

"well, when they pay me my holiday triple time, its the only time I'm they come close to paying me what I"m worth"

'course, neither of these were very professional or helpful

[MadMadge43]

I can see where that would be rather annoying.

When I stop at a convenience store or something else that is open on a major holiday I always thank them for working on that day, but would never say something like "you poor thing".

In LA's convenience stores though I don't say much anymore because most of the people working there don't celebrate Christian holidays so they really don't mind.

In fact, funny story while traveling this season Friday before Christmas I had the WORST Super Shuttle driver, he was snarly and rude and just had the worst attitude. So when he was dropping me off we got into a little spat where I let him know I did appreciate his attitude, but gave him his tip and said, only because it's Christmas and I'm trying to remember the spirit of the season. He said, Lady I don't celebrate Christmas and I don't deserve a tip so it's ok if you don't give me one. We left it at that.

[IndianInlaw]

"It's a condition of my parole".

[Clara Bow]

IndianInLaw now owes me money for the potato salad that I spewed on the keyboard....

[Gigi]

 How about this?  It could be worse. I could be unemployed.

[Bijou]

So I suppose this is a little after the fact but I was wondering what others thought...

At the coffee shop I work at, we are open every single day - that means Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Day and so forth.  To relay this information to customers, we put up a sign the week of the holiday that says we are open and gives the store hours (we do have limited hours those days at least).

Inevitably, there are always the customers who say "Aww you guys have to work on Christmas? You poor things!" (Yes, more than one person has actually called us "poor things.) It doesnt bother me as much when a regular customer, the kind that are in there three times a day, say this but when its the unfamiliar customer who we dont know,m I find this sort of patronizing becasue to me it seems like they are sort of rubbing in that its a holiday and most people will be at home but we will be there.  Also, pretty much EVERYONE who works on the holidays does so becasue they VOLUNTEER (we get time and a half for holidays, plus we have about five people who celebrate Hannukah so they had no problem helping out on Christmas).  So there really is no need to feel bad for us.

So I guess my etiquette question is: Is it rude to express sympathies to employees (sympathies that always sound sort of insincere or patronizing) about working on holidays, or am I just taking this too personal? Pretty much every time someone said it to me this year, it really rubbed me the wrong way. 

Also, what is the proper thing to say back? Usually I just smiled and didn't say anything, but when some of them starting to get a little long windedabout us "poor things having to work" i would say "well most of the people wanted to work."

I wouldn't be offended if someone expressed that to me.  If it annoyed me, I  would chalk it up to just making conversation to fill a void while they wait for their order.  Now, if they said "Nya, Nya on you!  You have to work and I don't...." that would be a different story. 
I think what you do say to them is fine.

[PoisonIvy]

It didn't bother me when I worked in retail.  (I used to volunteer for holiday shifts too, as the festivities carried on round-the-clock in my house anyway.)  I always responded with "That's ok, we're getting time and a half and everyone's extra-nice because they feel sorry for us."  I'm not too sure my manager was thrilled with that response but it was true. 

[Mikayla]

I don't see anything condescending about the comment (unless it's accompanied by other behavior).

I've said it myself to people at gas stations or grocery stores, and it's simply an indirect form of recognition -- that I appreciate services being rendered on a day when almost no one else is working.

[Lisbeth]

I'd reply humorously: "Me rich thing gets paid for working overtime." 

[Lauren]

Dosen't bother me most days. It annoys the hell out of me on the days in question. Yes its horrible we have to work these days, but if you didn't come in, we wouldn't have to!

I didn't mind it so much this year (I work glass replacement and we're open every day because its emergency) but when I worked for a club it annoyed me, as they didn't have to come in there.

I did get the oppisite reaction. Part of my job after hours is to take calls for an insurance company. We have no access to their records, we either fix glass if its broken or take details and call an assessor if its something else that needs to be fixed today. One guy calls up on Christmas to check if he's covered. Explain the situation (including the fact I don't work for insurance company) and he gets indignant that company dosen't work on Christmas! Now its nice that companies open on Christmas (only the major insurance companies did over here) but to EXPECT it?

[Athos_000]

While I doubt they were actually trying to rub it in that anyone had to work on a holiday (celebrated or not), I agree with the poster who said it was most likely "filler conversation" and not meant to be rude. Having to work holidays when you didn't actually volunteer to do so is not fun, that is what most people are probably trying to recognize. I do understand that it becomes old after hearing it 500 times a day though .

[Pixie]

...."but on the bright side, I got to see YOU,  Merry Christmas!"

Said in the right way, it will help them understand that poor you won't be so poor after getting that overtime pay!    I volunteered to work Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years one year my Hubby was in Baghdad.... I just couldn't bear being home alone. At least in the Emergency room I was needed.

[hobish]

I am one of the people who say things like that, not "you poor thing," but laments that ppl have to work on holidays. I had no idea it could sound patronizing. I kind of feel bad now. It's never been meant as such.