Question first, background below. How do I convince my sister to take me out of the middle of her relationship with her son and his wife?
Years ago, my sister and her DH left my then 17 year-old nephew behind in NE large city to make his own way in the world. 10 years and a few hard times later, he now has a decent job, a wife, and a home. As his closest (distance and blood) relative, I more or less assumed the in loco parentis role. As a result, I have a good relationship with nephew and wife.
With their history, my nephew bears some resentment towards his parents. He also dislikes only hearing from my sister when she wants something, mostly computer advice and fixes. As a result, he will often not return her call bombardment if he is at work or if it is inconvenient for him.
My sister has taken to repeatedly calling me when she is unable to reach nephew, in order for me to pass along messages or for me to badger him into calling her. I feel this is putting me in the middle of their relationship and I don't like it. I have bean-dipped and outright refused, but sister isn't getting the message.
As an example, yesterday she called me to ask me to tell nephew to give her a call to advise on which brand of TV to purchase. I gave her my opinion and told her nephew would say the same. In spite of that, she bombarded him and me throughout the day until he returned her call and told her the exact same thing I had told her earlier. He then passed the phone to me. Sister said, "Ask Nephew why he won't talk to me." I replied, "No, it's none of my business, how was your bean dip?" She didn't like it, but responded to the redirection and ended the call quickly.