Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27

[mmswm]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

We must be related because I swear I've never seen anybody eat more food than my boys.  My youngest son got "cut off" at Denny's with their all you can eat pancakes.  He was only 9 when that happened.

[GratefulMaria]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

We must be related because I swear I've never seen anybody eat more food than my boys.  My youngest son got "cut off" at Denny's with their all you can eat pancakes.  He was only 9 when that happened.

I bow.

[Amava]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

My father's best friend was my dog, Bear.  We always said they shared the same brain.

They used to drive around town, Bear riding shotgun and stop at Burger King.  The staff knew to prepare "the usual," two Whoppers, one with everything and one plain, two fries, a large Coke and a small water.  When they would pick my mother up from work, Bear would look at her, then look at the back seat.  People would ask me why my mother always rode in the back.  The answer:  "Bear called shotgun."

Bear died on the 14th and my father the 19th of January 2000.  I like to think of the two of them wandering around Rainbow Bridge with an endless supply of Whoppers.

How beautiful, thank you so much for sharing this!

[alkira6]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

We must be related because I swear I've never seen anybody eat more food than my boys.  My youngest son got "cut off" at Denny's with their all you can eat pancakes.  He was only 9 when that happened.

Stepping in with mine - my DH (at that time BF) got cut off at the buffet at CeCe's Pizza for eating too much.  He even took advantage of the policy for them making a pizza if you ask.  He wound up eating 14 or 15 of those as well as off the buffet. At the time he had a 27 inch waist and weighed 140 pounds on a good day. Ten years later he's up to 150 pounds and a 32 inch waist and STILL eats like that. grumble*grumble* stupid overefficient metabolism*grumble

[Diane AKA Traska]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

My father's best friend was my dog, Bear.  We always said they shared the same brain.

They used to drive around town, Bear riding shotgun and stop at Burger King.  The staff knew to prepare "the usual," two Whoppers, one with everything and one plain, two fries, a large Coke and a small water.  When they would pick my mother up from work, Bear would look at her, then look at the back seat.  People would ask me why my mother always rode in the back.  The answer:  "Bear called shotgun."

Bear died on the 14th and my father the 19th of January 2000.  I like to think of the two of them wandering around Rainbow Bridge with an endless supply of Whoppers.

Man, I don't even like dogs and I love that dog.

[mmswm]

He would have stared at the second one, too.  One of these days, I'll have to tell the story about my father and uncles' eating contests.  They could literally clean out a restaurant.

Was your Pop related to my dog by any chance?   

We must be related because I swear I've never seen anybody eat more food than my boys.  My youngest son got "cut off" at Denny's with their all you can eat pancakes.  He was only 9 when that happened.

Stepping in with mine - my DH (at that time BF) got cut off at the buffet at CeCe's Pizza for eating too much.  He even took advantage of the policy for them making a pizza if you ask.  He wound up eating 14 or 15 of those as well as off the buffet. At the time he had a 27 inch waist and weighed 140 pounds on a good day. Ten years later he's up to 150 pounds and a 32 inch waist and STILL eats like that. grumble*grumble* stupid overefficient metabolism*grumble

Unfortunately, I believe this is what I have to look forward to in the near future, when his appetite *really* kicks in.  The disgusting part is the youngest is my skinniest kid.  He wears a boy's size 10 slim, and even then they're a little loose.  Meanwhile, I can look at a salad and gain weight.  I don't even have to eat it.  Just look at it.  Life is just not fair.

[audrey11]

Being PA is quite possibly my mother's favorite hobby.  If we try to give her what she "wants", that just fans the flames.  Once, a bunch of us were going somewhere and taking multiple cars.  Well, she wanted to ride in my car, but I guess just expected the rest of us to figure this out via ESP.  When she realized she wasn't riding in my car, she was all "fine, I guess I'll just stay here then" etc.  We said okay and left.  Since the silent treatment is her second favorite hobby, the family was subjected to that for a few weeks after that.  I tire of giving her what she "wants" when I know it will ensure silent treatment fits for days, weeks, months.

This year, I hit upon a new plan.  Just act like everything is normal.  Usually her PA comes out in the form of massive hissy fits like you would expect from a toddler.  So now, that's what we do.  We just keep acting like everything's totally normal and that my mother has not, once again, regressed to childhood.  Doesn't matter if she's throwing her fits at a restaurant, in the car, when I'm visiting her, whatever.  She still hasn't found a new hobby, but at least the rest of us no longer want to take up drinking. 

[rain]

are you one of my nieces?


my OS does stuff like that (throwing tantrums)

[LadyClaire]

I think I've shared this before but it fits here too. 

A guy DH and I were friends with in college used to do this to his wife a lot.  One example I remember well, because he was such a jerk about it, was when we were trying to decide what kind of pizza we wanted and she was really in the mood for Pizza Hut.   

Friend: I'd like Pizza Hut, but I know how you feel about them. (he got fired)
Her STBX (HSTBX): No, if you want PH, we can get PH
Friend: Are you sure? I know you don't like going there after how they treated you.   (knowing his work ethic, he probably earned it)
HSTBX: No no, if that's what you want, we can have PH

Tired of the back and forth DH and I said "Pizza Hut it is!" and went to the closest one.

The whole time HSTBX sulked and whined that she would choose Pizza Hut when she knew how he felt about it.

My ex boyfriend hated mushrooms. He couldn't stand the smell of them, even. I love mushrooms on my pizza, but I'd get something else because I knew he disliked them and would complain about being able to smell them. We would usually order a pizza on Friday nights, and either do half-and-half toppings (one half for me, one for him) or two small pizzas with our toppings of choice.

He was a very PA person, and it started out with him saying "Oh, go on, go ahead and get mushrooms, I won't mind" and then if I agreed and got pizza with mushrooms, he'd get hugely offended that I actually agreed to get mushrooms because I knew he didn't like them. So I stopped agreeing and would just tell him to order something else. I guess that took away his fun, because he'd just order pizza with mushrooms anyways and then complain about how the smell of them made him so sick, but he got it anyways, and how I was so thoughtless to want mushrooms (even though I'd told him repeatedly NOT to order them on mine if he disliked the smell that much).

So finally I started ordering the pizza, without mushrooms, so that he couldn't do that anymore..and then he'd get offended that I thought he'd be so selfish as to not want me to get the pizza I liked. I seriously could not win.

[gingerzing]

I think I've shared this before but it fits here too. 


The whole time HSTBX sulked and whined that she would choose Pizza Hut when she knew how he felt about it.

So finally I started ordering the pizza, without mushrooms, so that he couldn't do that anymore..and then he'd get offended that I thought he'd be so selfish as to not want me to get the pizza I liked. I seriously could not win.

I assume that both these stories are only part of why they are Ex?

[Piratelvr1121]

In the case of friends stbx, yes, as that was a major pattern of behavior for him. LadyClaire, your ex sounds a lot like friend's stbxh, as that sounds like something he'd do to friend. 

At one point after she filed for divorce, he said "Maybe I'll just go skydiving and with my luck I'll get a parachute that won't open and I'll DIE! I bet that'll make you happy!"

Friend said "Well, no not really, you don't have life insurance so it wouldn't do me any good." 

[Diane AKA Traska]

I think I've shared this before but it fits here too. 

A guy DH and I were friends with in college used to do this to his wife a lot.  One example I remember well, because he was such a jerk about it, was when we were trying to decide what kind of pizza we wanted and she was really in the mood for Pizza Hut.   

Friend: I'd like Pizza Hut, but I know how you feel about them. (he got fired)
Her STBX (HSTBX): No, if you want PH, we can get PH
Friend: Are you sure? I know you don't like going there after how they treated you.   (knowing his work ethic, he probably earned it)
HSTBX: No no, if that's what you want, we can have PH

Tired of the back and forth DH and I said "Pizza Hut it is!" and went to the closest one.

The whole time HSTBX sulked and whined that she would choose Pizza Hut when she knew how he felt about it.

My ex boyfriend hated mushrooms. He couldn't stand the smell of them, even. I love mushrooms on my pizza, but I'd get something else because I knew he disliked them and would complain about being able to smell them. We would usually order a pizza on Friday nights, and either do half-and-half toppings (one half for me, one for him) or two small pizzas with our toppings of choice.

He was a very PA person, and it started out with him saying "Oh, go on, go ahead and get mushrooms, I won't mind" and then if I agreed and got pizza with mushrooms, he'd get hugely offended that I actually agreed to get mushrooms because I knew he didn't like them. So I stopped agreeing and would just tell him to order something else. I guess that took away his fun, because he'd just order pizza with mushrooms anyways and then complain about how the smell of them made him so sick, but he got it anyways, and how I was so thoughtless to want mushrooms (even though I'd told him repeatedly NOT to order them on mine if he disliked the smell that much).

So finally I started ordering the pizza, without mushrooms, so that he couldn't do that anymore..and then he'd get offended that I thought he'd be so selfish as to not want me to get the pizza I liked. I seriously could not win.

Bold sentence is incorrect because red text.

[LadyClaire]

I think I've shared this before but it fits here too. 


The whole time HSTBX sulked and whined that she would choose Pizza Hut when she knew how he felt about it.

So finally I started ordering the pizza, without mushrooms, so that he couldn't do that anymore..and then he'd get offended that I thought he'd be so selfish as to not want me to get the pizza I liked. I seriously could not win.

I assume that both these stories are only part of why they are Ex?

One of many, many reasons he is Ex. He also tried the whole "I'll kill myself if you leave me!!" thing when I dumped him. So I called his best friend and told him that Ex was threatening suicide and it might be a good idea if Ex's grandmother sent him a plane ticket to go back to England. His friend called his mother and grandmother, who called him and freaked out that he was threatening suicide. To say he was displeased with me would be an understatement.

[snowflake]

My ex boyfriend hated mushrooms. He couldn't stand the smell of them, even. I love mushrooms on my pizza, but I'd get something else because I knew he disliked them and would complain about being able to smell them. We would usually order a pizza on Friday nights, and either do half-and-half toppings (one half for me, one for him) or two small pizzas with our toppings of choice.

He was a very PA person, and it started out with him saying "Oh, go on, go ahead and get mushrooms, I won't mind" and then if I agreed and got pizza with mushrooms, he'd get hugely offended that I actually agreed to get mushrooms because I knew he didn't like them. So I stopped agreeing and would just tell him to order something else. I guess that took away his fun, because he'd just order pizza with mushrooms anyways and then complain about how the smell of them made him so sick, but he got it anyways, and how I was so thoughtless to want mushrooms (even though I'd told him repeatedly NOT to order them on mine if he disliked the smell that much).

So finally I started ordering the pizza, without mushrooms, so that he couldn't do that anymore..and then he'd get offended that I thought he'd be so selfish as to not want me to get the pizza I liked. I seriously could not win.

Bold sentence is incorrect because red text.

Hee, hee.  I love this.

I'd say that's called winning!

[MrTango]

One of many, many reasons he is Ex. He also tried the whole "I'll kill myself if you leave me!!" thing when I dumped him. So I called his best friend and told him that Ex was threatening suicide and it might be a good idea if Ex's grandmother sent him a plane ticket to go back to England. His friend called his mother and grandmother, who called him and freaked out that he was threatening suicide. To say he was displeased with me would be an understatement.

I must be a horrible person.  I find myself taking delight in situations where people say something along the lines of the bolded in a clearly attention-seeking way and then they get upset when they get more attention than they can handle...