A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!
Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27
snowflake:
--- Quote from: mmswm on February 21, 2013, 03:10:53 PM ---
--- Quote from: MrTango on February 21, 2013, 02:45:32 PM ---
--- Quote from: LazyDaisy on February 21, 2013, 12:24:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: o_gal on February 21, 2013, 07:52:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on February 20, 2013, 11:58:06 PM ---You know I never understand people who want to have a heart to heart/serious conversation when people are hungry and tired.
--- End quote ---
Some (evil) people do it on purpose to get you to try to agree with them, knowing your defenses will be down.
--- End quote ---
Agreed. It puts them in a position of power: you'll eat when they say you can eat, you'll sleep when they let you sleep.
That strategy backfires on people who try it with me. I get giddily talkative and figgity when I'm overly tired or hungry. I even know I'm doing it and Can't Shut Up. I imagine for the other person it's like having a heart-to-heart with a squirrel on red bull.
--- End quote ---
It backfires with me also. Instead of Rational, Logical MrTango, they get a very angry, irrational, and defensive MrTango.
--- End quote ---
I turn into an angry, rage-filled cave man (er, woman). It's not pretty.
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The people in my life who have done this know I'm tetchy when tired/hungry. They do it on purpose so they can say, "Well I TRIED to be reasonable/ talk things out/ have a heart-to-heart but you were hostile and therefore I'm not going to try to be a decent person. They then take it as a carte blanche to behave any way they see fit.
I think that's a tried and true tactic for some people.
Giggity:
Could we please take the "this happens when I get tired" stories to their own thread?
m2kbug:
My exhusband was PA. His big one was to ignore and grump around when he was upset about something. It didn't necessarily have to be something I did (maybe he was upset about something at work), but of course I assumed it was me (and it usually was). I would spend a lot of time asking "what's wrong," and his response was always, "Nothing." "Why are you mad?" "I'm not mad." It would eventually come out, but not for days, weeks, months, usually in a fight where I would get blamed for any number of things. The thing is, there were times I had no idea what he was talking about. Or I didn't remember enough detail about the situation to explain what happened. Meanwhile, he had several days/weeks/months to stew and brew and create his own assumptions and "reality" of the situation. How can you explain yourself when he already knows "exactly what happened" and you can't remember the thing that got him upset in the first place? How many issues could be resolved if he brought it up right away?
He would also yell something nasty or leave a nasty note and walk out the door...gone.
Bottom line, though, this was part of his abuse, which escalated when I started calling him on his behavior or not responding to it. I spent so much time worrying about what I was doing wrong and trying to fix it, as if I could read his mind, at some point you give up. So as I'm sure you guessed, the marriage ended and what a breath of fresh air, I'm still giddy not being under that weight anymore, 10 years later. :)
I had a boyfriend give me a gift certificate as a Christmas gift, then got mad that I didn't spend it on him. :o
I'm sure I can come up with more. Some of these stories are nuts!
Gwywnnydd:
--- Quote from: bloo on February 21, 2013, 12:40:44 PM ---
--- Quote from: LazyDaisy on February 21, 2013, 12:24:07 PM ---I imagine for the other person it's like having a heart-to-heart with a squirrel on red bull.
--- End quote ---
The bolded reminded me of a clip from one of my fave movies (Hoodwinked!): Squirrel on coffee...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmCjMRAzCiE
--- End quote ---
Hammy and the energy drink... http://youtu.be/0sGlETQIMUo
Cz. Burrito:
--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on February 20, 2013, 11:58:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: Katana_Geldar on February 20, 2013, 10:45:48 PM ---That reminds me of something my stepfather said to me. I was home at 10pm from work, starving and with low blood sugar and he wanted to have a serious conversation about something to me. I asked politely if he could wait until I finished my dinner, as I could give him a better response, and he told me that I was being selfish.
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You know I never understand people who want to have a heart to heart/serious conversation when people are hungry and tired.
I know with me the only thing that is guaranteed to happen is that my nice filter will be malfunctioning and my responses will be along the vein of bullet point answers and RAWWWWR HUNGER NOM NOM SLEEP.
--- End quote ---
My ex-husband used to wake me up at midnight to have serious discussions and extract promises from me. Then he would later accuse me of betraying him and lying to him when I didn't keep said promises that I didn't even remember making and probably only mumbled mm-hmm to so that I could GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I've recently been tracking my sleep patterns and found that I have a 90-minute segment of super deep sleep around midnight every night, so he was waking me from a *dead* sleep.
EX-husband.
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