A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27

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gramma dishes:
Re:  The Susan story

Apparently what the mother meant when she said 'asking family for loans just wasn't done in their family' was that their family doesn't give loans, but outright gifts of money are not only happily accepted but absolutely expected!!  Well, if they're the recipients, of course.

Deetee:

--- Quote from: gramma dishes on November 24, 2012, 02:01:22 PM ---
--- Quote from: Deetee on November 24, 2012, 01:52:21 PM ---
...   My (now deceased) grandma had one that I never learned to respond to. I would tell her about things and if I told her about something extra good (graduation, new job, new apartment), she would nod and then say "Now is the time for me to die". Bit of a conversation killer that one.

I remember calling my mom after one of these visits quite upset and worried. I was 20 at the time and living in the same city as my grandma so was visiting on my own for the first time. My mom laughed and told me "That's what she said when you were born. She still seems to be here"

--- End quote ---

Is it at all possible that maybe what your Grandmother may have meant was that since everything was so WONDERFUL, she could die right then and die happy knowing all was right in the her world?

--- End quote ---

With another person, the words could totally mean that, but the tone was not one of warm contentment, more resigned misery. (I think the undercurrent was-no one needs me, I have done my part, I might as well be dead). She was a very unhappy and difficult woman who really had little to talk about or think about except her own unhappiness. I left every visit cranky, wrung out and promising myself that I would not spent my retirement confined to my apartment and wrapped in my own miserable thoughts.

gramma dishes:
^^^  Ah!  Well, in that case weren't you ever tempted (as a child of course, before Ehell affiliation) to respond to her like this?

Grandma:  *sigh*  "Now is the time for me to die."
You:  "Okay."

 >:D

Adelaide:
My father's mother is very PA, but she won't ask for things outright. I had a week "off" (not really, it was mostly studying) for Thanksgiving and I had coffee/dessert with her and some other relatives planned for Thanksgiving. Before coming in I told her that was the only day I could see her and that I would be very busy. I landed at 10 p.m. and the next day around 6 p.m. she called and started saying how glad she was that I was home but "I would have thought I'd have seen you by now!" I just replied "I know, right? I'm just so busy with school work. I would have thought I'd get a real break too, but I don't."

My father is relatively PA now that I'm an adult. He's always been self-centered and gets his feelings hurt very easily, but always frames it in some moral lecture about he was teaching us a lesson/wanted us to think about what Deity would do/was just bringing it up to illustrate how we shouldn't treat people in our lives a certain way. Now, however, he won't outright say that he's offended. Once he got angry at something I said. (To this day I don't think I was in the wrong, but it's a long story.) He started giving me the "You won't have any friends if you treat people like this" lecture and then asked if I had anything I wanted to say to him. I said no. Really? No. Nothing I wanted to apologize for? No. Anything else? No. He hasn't brought it up again.

Deetee:

--- Quote from: gramma dishes on November 24, 2012, 02:30:56 PM ---^^^  Ah!  Well, in that case weren't you ever tempted (as a child of course, before Ehell affiliation) to respond to her like this?

Grandma:  *sigh*  "Now is the time for me to die."
You:  "Okay."

 >:D

--- End quote ---

Terribly, terribly tempted. I used to say it in my head. It made me feel much better. It never did pass my lips.

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