It has been really interesting reading these stories. I was inspired to actually wiki "passive aggressive."
I recently broke up with my best friend and in the last conversation (argument) we had, she accused me of being passive aggressive. This really bothered me and I spent a lot of time trying to work out if it was true or not. After reading everyone else's stories here, I have decided that I am not a PA person by nature, just a mostly passive person who has to work on expressing herself. Like when I say "I don't care," I. really. don't. care. No ESP games, no hidden meanings, no code words, guesswork, just true. For my friend apparently that was PA. Like when I said I didn't care where we ate, she would get mad that I wouldn't choose. Maybe we could have worked things out if she had met my perceived PA with more proactive responses like PPs here did, but she chose to fight PA with PA (i.e. "Well I guess we won't get any food") and so we were doomed.
I'll admit, I may say I'm "fine" when I'm not, but it's usually because I don't know how to explain what I'm really feeling and/or I don't want to get into it.
I would never say something with the expectation that I would get the opposite of what I asked for - that's like the antithesis of communication!
Isn't it funny though, how in some situations even some etiquette is PA-ish? Like if there is only one of something left, we are supposed to say "Oh no, you take it" and of course everyone says that and so no one gets it. If someone jumped in with "Okay, I'll take it" they would be considered greedy or rude for admitting they wanted it.
Funny thing how so many people who talk about dying end up living forever - it's either reverse psychology or the Grim Reaper is avoiding them because he doesn't want to deal with their whining!