Author Topic: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27  (Read 119652 times)

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JenJay

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #300 on: December 19, 2012, 01:03:20 PM »
My cantankerous grandma re-gifts everything we give her.  Last year it was Keurig coffee maker she gave to a friend!!!  This year we gave her only consumable items like biscotti, teas, olives and salami on a pretty inlaid tray.

What did she comment?  "What am I going to do with this tray?"  Ummm...how about, serve food on it?   ::)   Seriously, only gift cards from now on...or maybe only a card...

Or maybe you should call her up and say "Gran, we want to give you a lovely Thingamajig for Christmas this year. Which of your lucky friends shall we forward it to?"  >:D

Okay so I'm joking, but it's fun to think about, eh?!

Otterpop

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #301 on: December 19, 2012, 01:11:26 PM »
My cantankerous grandma re-gifts everything we give her.  Last year it was Keurig coffee maker she gave to a friend!!!  This year we gave her only consumable items like biscotti, teas, olives and salami on a pretty inlaid tray.

What did she comment?  "What am I going to do with this tray?"  Ummm...how about, serve food on it?   ::)   Seriously, only gift cards from now on...or maybe only a card...

Or maybe you should call her up and say "Gran, we want to give you a lovely Thingamajig for Christmas this year. Which of your lucky friends shall we forward it to?"  >:D

Okay so I'm joking, but it's fun to think about, eh?!

Ha, ha!  Very tempting...   >:D

ladyknight1

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #302 on: December 19, 2012, 03:06:10 PM »
And that is why we no longer give gifts to people older than 18, unless it is work (or a social club) related. My family members have everything they could possibly need, and I was tired of seeing gifts re-gifted or unused for years. Certain people would even take their partner's gifts and use them!

We had tasteful photo books made for the grandparents and one aunt. Everyone else got a card and picture of DS.

oz diva

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #303 on: December 19, 2012, 04:37:52 PM »
^^^  Ah!  Well, in that case weren't you ever tempted (as a child of course, before Ehell affiliation) to respond to her like this?

Grandma:  *sigh*  "Now is the time for me to die."
You:  "Okay."

 >:D
Or glance at your watch.

Victoria

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #304 on: December 19, 2012, 05:04:43 PM »
^^^  Ah!  Well, in that case weren't you ever tempted (as a child of course, before Ehell affiliation) to respond to her like this?

Grandma:  *sigh*  "Now is the time for me to die."
You:  "Okay."

 >:D
Or glance at your watch.

 :) :D ;D

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #305 on: December 19, 2012, 06:18:25 PM »
^^^  Ah!  Well, in that case weren't you ever tempted (as a child of course, before Ehell affiliation) to respond to her like this?

Grandma:  *sigh*  "Now is the time for me to die."
You:  "Okay."

 >:D
Or glance at your watch.

 :) :D ;D

I can just see myself brightly announcing: "9:43 it is then!"
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Jelaza

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #306 on: December 19, 2012, 08:12:16 PM »
Better yet: "9:43?  I win the betting pool!"

Jocelyn

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #307 on: December 19, 2012, 11:57:25 PM »
  Certain people would even take their partner's gifts and use them!
 

Hmm...I guess I don't see what's wrong about that. 

MariaE

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #308 on: December 20, 2012, 03:12:35 AM »
  Certain people would even take their partner's gifts and use them!
 

Hmm...I guess I don't see what's wrong about that.

Nope, me neither. DH and I use each others' gifts all the time.
 
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CrochetFanatic

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #309 on: December 20, 2012, 05:56:47 AM »
As long as the other person is okay with it, I don't really see the problem either.  :)  Or an appliance that belongs to one person, but everyone uses.

Back in High School, I had a couple "friends" who acted PA when I wouldn't let them mooch off of me.  It was sort of my own fault, because I got into the habit of saying yes when I was asked if they could have something, if I could pay for something, or if they could borrow something.  I'll admit that it wasn't because I was particularly generous; I didn't like being bugged when I said no, nor did I like being called mean and greedy behind my back just because I didn't want to share what I had.  I went without lunch a couple times when a "friend" said that she didn't have money for lunch, and I found out that she just wanted to save up the lunch money that her parents gave her so that she would have more spending money.  She admitted this when I spotted her putting a dollar in the snack machine (lunch is more than a dollar, and she wanted a candy bar.  ::) ).  Um, no.  I need to eat too, and I'm not going without lunch just because you're saving up for a new purse. 

The next time she asked me for some "spare change", I said no.  She said, "Ugh, fine...I guess I'll start going without lunch myself, then."  I said, "Whatever makes you happy."  She went on a rant about how she "needed" the new purse, how I couldn't possibly understand because I don't pay attention to fashion, and that it wouldn't hurt me to go without lunch because I could stand to lose a few pounds.  Hahaha...not the way to get on my good side.  It was an automatic no after that, and I was badmouthed for a week or so before it died down.  I lost a "friend", and gained some self respect.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2012, 05:59:12 AM by CrochetFanatic »

ladyknight1

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #310 on: December 20, 2012, 10:56:51 AM »
  Certain people would even take their partner's gifts and use them!
 

Hmm...I guess I don't see what's wrong about that.

Give someone a gift card and their partner another gift card, and while one is away, the partner takes both gift cards and uses them. Repeated behavior. I no longer give them gift cards.

Shalamar

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #311 on: December 20, 2012, 11:24:40 AM »
Quote
how I couldn't possibly understand because I don't pay attention to fashion, and that it wouldn't hurt me to go without lunch because I could stand to lose a few pounds. 

Wow.   :o  I'd be tempted to quote Diane Chambers at that point:  "Now that you've finished buttering me up ..."

Emmy

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #312 on: December 20, 2012, 12:46:59 PM »
As long as the other person is okay with it, I don't really see the problem either.  :)  Or an appliance that belongs to one person, but everyone uses.

Back in High School, I had a couple "friends" who acted PA when I wouldn't let them mooch off of me.  It was sort of my own fault, because I got into the habit of saying yes when I was asked if they could have something, if I could pay for something, or if they could borrow something.  I'll admit that it wasn't because I was particularly generous; I didn't like being bugged when I said no, nor did I like being called mean and greedy behind my back just because I didn't want to share what I had.  I went without lunch a couple times when a "friend" said that she didn't have money for lunch, and I found out that she just wanted to save up the lunch money that her parents gave her so that she would have more spending money.  She admitted this when I spotted her putting a dollar in the snack machine (lunch is more than a dollar, and she wanted a candy bar.  ::) ).  Um, no.  I need to eat too, and I'm not going without lunch just because you're saving up for a new purse. 

The next time she asked me for some "spare change", I said no.  She said, "Ugh, fine...I guess I'll start going without lunch myself, then."  I said, "Whatever makes you happy."  She went on a rant about how she "needed" the new purse, how I couldn't possibly understand because I don't pay attention to fashion, and that it wouldn't hurt me to go without lunch because I could stand to lose a few pounds.  Hahaha...not the way to get on my good side.  It was an automatic no after that, and I was badmouthed for a week or so before it died down.  I lost a "friend", and gained some self respect.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.  If she would just totally die without the purse, she could give up her lunches and snacks for it. 

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #313 on: December 20, 2012, 01:50:55 PM »
This is making me glad that DH is a good gift giver.  MIL will ask me what I want if she's not sure and gets it right.  My mother on the other hand was always having to exchange things for what she really wanted cause while dad came close, he always got her a version he thought she wanted.  I think he did this to all of us really.   I was, as a present, told I could pick something out to bring with me and I said I wanted just a little cd player to take with me, one that was easily transported and could play cassettes and radio too, and wouldn't take up much room since I knew the dorm rooms would be small. 

I instead got this stereo system that was decidedly NOT portable and was not small.  It didn't take up a whole room or anything but it was heavy, had two stereos that would attach to the main part of it.  But it did have the ability to play cd's, tapes and the radio.   It took up most of the top of my dresser though.
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Celany

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Re: Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!)
« Reply #314 on: December 20, 2012, 04:58:51 PM »
My biggest one was with my mom. I do love my mom, but she has a lot of mental problems, and can be the Queen of PA and will be extremely controlling, if you give her that option.

When I was in college, she used to call me and leave messages on my answering machine all day (this was pre-cell phone days). As I wasn't returning her calls (because I was at class, then lunch, then class, then theater, then the gym, before going home), each message would get more & more irate. She would demand that I come back to my room just to check for messages and call her to confirm that I was still alive. I refused to do this, because it would have been close to impossible, with my schedule. Not to mention the part where it was a ridiculous request.

As this escalated, she started ending her calls by threatening to disown me, because I was such a terrible daughter (side note: I hope you believe that I'm not exaggerating here. She was literally this upset that I wouldn't call her several times a day to confirm that I was still alive, and tell her about my day. Which was remarkable, because when I lived at home, she used to ignore me quite a bit.). Finally, one day, I called her bluff. I said: Fine. Disown me. If that means I don't have to listen to you screaming at my anymore, then that works for me. I'll figure money out of my own, & that'll be that. Then I hung up the phone, gently.

This was probably in late October or early November. I didn't go home for Thanksgiving (I went to see my BF's family). I didn't go home for Christmas (I stayed with friends).

Finally, around Easter, my aunt called me & said my mom was going to call me. Seems that my dad told my mom that she would either fix this or he'd divorce her. My dad is one of the most mild-mannered people in the world, and he has *never* given my mom an ultimatum before. And my mom is of a religion that really frowns upon divorce, so she buckled. Although, her buckling was calling me and asking what I wanted in my Easter basket; she never acknowledged her bad behavior.

Since then, while she does off & on have bad behavior (she's a "give her an inch, she'll take a mile" kind of person), she's never gotten as bad as she was then. Because she knows if she goes beyond a certain point, I WILL call her on it, & my dad WILL back me up.
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