My mother is a pro at PA behavior, to the point that she would be gobsmacked if her family members pointed out that what she does is passive aggressive. My sib and I call it her way of "fighting with us." There are so many little occurrences, but we knew when Mom's sister, with whom she shared a home, finally died, she was going to go off the deep end with unhealthy behavior, because we weren't going to do what she wanted and expected us to do: pay off all her bills and buy the house for her, since she couldn't afford to live there alone w/out her sis.
There were months of tiny warnings as we all mourned the loss of a beloved family member and tried to help Mom come up with a variety of potential solutions to her money woes, but none of that was going to work for some reason or another. Both Sib and I already lived out of state, and I had to take a position out of the country. A few months later, when I was on an international flight back to the States for an important work conference, Mom texted both Sib and I with a veiled "goodbye, cruel world" message. In between connecting flights, we had exactly 20 minutes to handle things. We both knew what Mom wanted and expected: both of her kids to immediately fly to her city. Especially me, since I was now in the country and in an airport. That wasn't possible. So we decided to take her PA statement seriously, and called the cops to make a welfare check. Then ended up taking her in for care, and, because she was such a mess, actually kept her two days LONGER. We got all of her friends around her, despite the fact that she "didn't want to be a bother" to them, and made it clear that Mom was suicidal, neither of us could afford to fly 3000-6000 miles, and she needed an immediate as well as a long-distance support group. Within weeks, one friend helped her find an apartment, and five of them started having regular card games and BBQs, no longer taking it at face value when Mom insisted she was "fine." (Because you don't burden your friends, just your kids?)
It was amazing to me that these women who had known her for almost 50 years had no idea that their cheerful little bundle of sunshine had a severe problem with depression, and that "the kids" couldn't fix or take care of it like we had been for decades any more.
She's on stronger anti-depressants, and lost the family house, but, frankly, her behaviors have consequences. While now, she will still make a few PA digs about her time in "the nuthouse" and how it harmed her, she has never, ever tried that PA "I'll be gone soon and won't be a burden to you kids" b.s. again since she saw that, instead of playing by her expected script, we will take it seriously. And act. Immediately.