Giving PA people what they "want" (Stories!) UPDATE P27

[Kimblee]

That reminds me of the advertising campaign Las Vegas ran a few years ago, saying how suitable it is for a family vacation.  "Bring the kids!"   To be fair, I've never been, but friends who've visited recently said "Yeahhhh, it's still pretty much all about gambling and hookers."

I remember that at least at the time they tried to build a few kid friendly things....like a few roller coasters , a star trek ride and a few other things.  I recall laughing a bit when the ads then gave up on kids and became "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"

Except it doesn't... 

As a good friend of mine discovered. She drives one of those huge trucks and picked up a guy(?!) in Louisiana who wanted to go to New York to see a friend. He said he'd find his own way back. Well, his "friend" turned out of be "already friendly" with someone else and he asked my friend if he could go with her until she headed back to Louisiana. She agreed, but told him it'd be a month before she made it that way and he'd better earn his ride and help her out. He agreed and off they went.

When one of their stops was Las Vegas they got married and will celebrate a 3 year anniversary sometime this summer. The good news is, he gave a last name to the baby she got from a previous visit to Las Vegas. (I tease, but they're actually a great couple, devoted parents and can run a route twice as fast now that he's got his license.)

No PA people here, but its a cute love story.

[goldilocks]

I spent two years with a guy who was the king of obstructionist PA behavior.  He would - sometimes reluctantly - agree to do something, then deliberately make it difficult to get it done.  His hope was that I would eventually tell him to forget it.  Before I caught on to what he was doing, I usually would.  However, once I started figuring it out, I stopped letting him off the hook.

The best example I have is when my BFF "Ashley" got married.  Ashley and I had drifted apart for a few years at this point, but had very recently reconnected.  (nothing bad happened, just normal ebbs and flows of life.)  She had invited both of us to her wedding.  Prior to this, I had spent a good chunk of my summer rearranging my weekend work schedule so I could go with PA Boyfriend to his friends' weddings.  I think there were three of them that summer.  So, when I told him we had been invited to Ashley's wedding, he heaved a huge sigh, but agreed to go.

The wedding was at 11 on a Saturday morning.  He generally got up at 9 during the week, so he was not going to have to get up any earlier than normal.  Still, I arrived at his house with coffee (made the very particular way he liked it) and his favorite type of muffin at 10:15 that morning.  He was lying in bed, fully clothed, but sound asleep.  When I walked into his room, he woke up, and started to very slowly get up and start moving.  He kept glancing over at me to see how I was reacting - I'm sure in hopes that I would tell him to forget it.  Instead, I told him that we needed to leave in 15 minutes and that his coffee and food were downstairs.

He did go and we got to the wedidng on time, but he made sure everyone - including the bride and groom - knew he did NOT want to be there.

Had he said no from the beginning when I asked him to go, I'm not going to lie, there would have been a fight.  He knew that.  In the past, though, when he dragged his feet and found all these things he HAD to do before we could leave, I would always cave and tell him he - or we - didn't have to go.  And I was done with that.

He realized I was going to take what he said at face value - if he said he was going to do something, I expected him to do it.  I realized that me asking him to do things and then holding him to it meant he was going to make sure everyone was miserable.

We broke up less than two months later.

This is my ex, surely; my friends now call him The Fun Sucker.

this is exactly my ex-husband.  Whenever I "made" him do something (attend a wedding, company event, etc), he make sure to embarrass me so that I would eventually stop asking him to go.   I did.  And I went further than that - I eventually moved out and divorced him?

[Tsaiko]

That reminds me of the advertising campaign Las Vegas ran a few years ago, saying how suitable it is for a family vacation.  "Bring the kids!"   To be fair, I've never been, but friends who've visited recently said "Yeahhhh, it's still pretty much all about gambling and hookers."

I remember that at least at the time they tried to build a few kid friendly things....like a few roller coasters , a star trek ride and a few other things.  I recall laughing a bit when the ads then gave up on kids and became "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"

They also try to sell themselves as a great place for conventions as well, especially after the downturn in the economy really took a chunk out of their regular business. I was in Las Vegas about 3-4 years ago for a professional convention. I would not go back for a convention and there is no way I'd take kids there. In fact, I wrote to the organization that hosts the convention and told them that if they ever consider Las Vegas again, they could count me out. From what I understand, several hundred other members told them the same thing.

The worst part for me was there would be dozens of guys lining the street handing out sexually explicit pictures of naked women to anyone they could. Men, women, kids: didn't matter. And then at the end of the night and into the next morning, the street would be covered with these pictures. I am not a prude, but I  felt sexually harassed walking down the street (and I mean literally doing nothing but walking down the street) with these picture every where. I'm sorry, but there was nothing professional or kid friendly about that city. Is it any wonder why so many professional organizations have a hard time justifying holding a convention there?

[blue2000]

That reminds me of the advertising campaign Las Vegas ran a few years ago, saying how suitable it is for a family vacation.  "Bring the kids!"   To be fair, I've never been, but friends who've visited recently said "Yeahhhh, it's still pretty much all about gambling and hookers."

I remember that at least at the time they tried to build a few kid friendly things....like a few roller coasters , a star trek ride and a few other things.  I recall laughing a bit when the ads then gave up on kids and became "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"

They also try to sell themselves as a great place for conventions as well, especially after the downturn in the economy really took a chunk out of their regular business. I was in Las Vegas about 3-4 years ago for a professional convention. I would not go back for a convention and there is no way I'd take kids there. In fact, I wrote to the organization that hosts the convention and told them that if they ever consider Las Vegas again, they could count me out. From what I understand, several hundred other members told them the same thing.

The worst part for me was there would be dozens of guys lining the street handing out sexually explicit pictures of naked women to anyone they could. Men, women, kids: didn't matter. And then at the end of the night and into the next morning, the street would be covered with these pictures. I am not a prude, but I  felt sexually harassed walking down the street (and I mean literally doing nothing but walking down the street) with these picture every where. I'm sorry, but there was nothing professional or kid friendly about that city. Is it any wonder why so many professional organizations have a hard time justifying holding a convention there?

That's odd. I wouldn't have a problem taking kids there.

A relative used to live there. He doesn't gamble, and neither does most of my family. I don't think anyone is much interested in strip clubs either. But we had a great time visiting. There are lots of things to see and do that aren't exclusively adult.

[AfleetAlex]

Kudos to you for growing your spine under severely adverse conditions and getting clear of that piece of posterior haberdashery!

I am SO borrowing this!! 

[jedikaiti]

Kudos to you for growing your spine under severely adverse conditions and getting clear of that piece of posterior haberdashery!

I am SO borrowing this!! 

Me too!

[Mel the Redcap]

Kudos to you for growing your spine under severely adverse conditions and getting clear of that piece of posterior haberdashery!

I am SO borrowing this!! 

Haha, you're welcome to.  It was the most EHell-friendly way I could think of to phrase a term I use for extremely unpleasant people.

[AfleetAlex]

I seem to use the short version a LOT while driving.   

[GlitterIsMyDrug]

That reminds me of the advertising campaign Las Vegas ran a few years ago, saying how suitable it is for a family vacation.  "Bring the kids!"   To be fair, I've never been, but friends who've visited recently said "Yeahhhh, it's still pretty much all about gambling and hookers."

I remember that at least at the time they tried to build a few kid friendly things....like a few roller coasters , a star trek ride and a few other things.  I recall laughing a bit when the ads then gave up on kids and became "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"

They also try to sell themselves as a great place for conventions as well, especially after the downturn in the economy really took a chunk out of their regular business. I was in Las Vegas about 3-4 years ago for a professional convention. I would not go back for a convention and there is no way I'd take kids there. In fact, I wrote to the organization that hosts the convention and told them that if they ever consider Las Vegas again, they could count me out. From what I understand, several hundred other members told them the same thing.

The worst part for me was there would be dozens of guys lining the street handing out sexually explicit pictures of naked women to anyone they could. Men, women, kids: didn't matter. And then at the end of the night and into the next morning, the street would be covered with these pictures. I am not a prude, but I  felt sexually harassed walking down the street (and I mean literally doing nothing but walking down the street) with these picture every where. I'm sorry, but there was nothing professional or kid friendly about that city. Is it any wonder why so many professional organizations have a hard time justifying holding a convention there?

That's odd. I wouldn't have a problem taking kids there.

A relative used to live there. He doesn't gamble, and neither does most of my family. I don't think anyone is much interested in strip clubs either. But we had a great time visiting. There are lots of things to see and do that aren't exclusively adult.

I think it depends in Vegas, where you go and what you do. If you stay on the strip, and walk the strip, yeah lots of "adult activities" at every turn. But outside of the strip there are other things to do and see. The kids I used to babysit, their family went every year (5 adults, 3 kids, extra if me and my mom joined them). Only three of the adults gambled, no one was interested in strip clubs, and the kids always had a good time. They're big Star Trek fans, and they'd do the wax museum, the roller coaster, and all the buffets. 

Oddly enough, prostitution is actually illegal in the city of Las Vegas (well the county), the brothels exist in other counties outside of Vegas. (random information no one asked for or needed, that's what I'm here for)

[GlitterIsMyDrug]

When out and about during the day it is normal for one to get hungry. If you are out and about with a normal person you would expect a normal person to address this issue by saying "Man, I'm getting hungry. What do you think about stopping to get lunch?" and perhaps a discussion of restaurants near by for which to consume food at.

If you are out with my grandma you get "I sure to like Restaurant", at which point you are to say "Oh, are you hungry?" to which she will respond "Oh, no I was just saying, I like Restaurant and we're near by to it, but no, but if you are of course..." now is your cue to affirm you are in fact hungry and suggest Restaurant to which she will respond "Well, I'm not hungry, but if you want to go, I'll have a little something, just to keep you company", at which point you go to Restaurant and she eats an entire meal because of course she was hungry!

This script has been laid out for me since childhood. But, see, I've never been great with PA people. The first time I was driving us around, grandma is upfront with me, mom is in the back and we pass by Red Lobster (grandma's favorite place), cue grandma to say "Oh, gee, I love Red Lobster", to which I respond "Oh yeah, they're good" and keep on driving. A little while later we're by another restaurant "Oh, I like this place too!" to which I say "Oh yeah, I love their dessert" and we keep on driving. Third place, same conversation. Finally about an hour later my grandma says "Oh for the love of, Glitter! When are we gonna eat!" and I respond, very innocently, "Oh, why didn't you say you were hungry?", cue non-stop laughter from my mom. Grandma has learned to just tell me what she wants. She's still PA with everyone else because they do what she wants, but I just don't. I don't even actively try not to, I just don't think about it. If you want something from me, you have to be a grown up and use your words.

[Jocelyn]

My mother was fond of 'winning' disagreements by saying, 'I guess I'm just a flop and a failure as a mother.'
The last time I heard this phrase, I cued the crickets. 

[PeterM]

DH has been to a Hooters and he said he found it rather sad.

I've only been a couple of times, but it was basically just like any other restaurant but with decent wings and more cleavage. No complaints from me. Plus it was really funny when our waitress turned out to be one of the kids my friend had counseled when he worked at a camp in high school.

[Runningstar]

My mother is usually PA.  One day we invited her and stepfather (SF) to dinner.  We are a regular family, 3 kids, bills, and have to watch our money, and DM and SF are absolute gluttons I needed to serve something nice, but not too expensive and not too time consuming and a lot of it ........ so lasagna, crusty bread and a nice salad.  Well, DM seems to be enjoying the dinner, and is in fact on her fourth serving of lasagna when she mentions how she just never did like Italian food.  My DH doesn't miss a beat and replies " well you certainly seem to be doing ok with it isn't this is your fourth serving".  DM just gasped.  I tried to control my giggling, but sadly had to "go take care of something in the kitchen".  As to giving the PA person what they want, over the years I have heard from DM how wonderful the expensive restaurant dinners that my two DB's have treated her and SF to have been.  Well, I can't afford this, and so, since my simple homemade dinners are so hard for her to enjoy, haven't had them over to dinner for about 8 months now and counting.   

[Ghosty]

wow, I would rather have a yummy homecooked meal with family than go to the most expensive restaurant in the world!

[Runningstar]

wow, I would rather have a yummy homecooked meal with family than go to the most expensive restaurant in the world!

I know!!  Me too!!